Loving people you don't like?

I'm sorta an open book....at least on the surface.  I share a lot about a lot.  Sometimes too much.  I process through writing and this has become my preferred medium.  BUT....I also hold some things very close and only share some things with some people.  One thing I don't share a lot are negative feelings....except to Randy....who has the pleasure of hearing it all :) and loves me anyway!
I'm a peace at all cost kind of girl.......So I'm trying to figure out how can I be honest with people and respond in a godly way.....by loving people....without denying my true feelings and without sinning and without pretending.  AND I just don't know is the answer.  In the past it has been to ignore the problem.....but I don't think that is very healthy.  How do you heal and deal with a situation when it won't even be acknowledged?

I know it's okay to have feelings.  I know that feelings don't equal truth.  I know that I am called to LOVE people.  Not just people who love me....cause even unbelievers do that...but also people who mistreat me.....OR (gasp) my children!  This is hard stuff!  This is real life.  This is skin on Christianity.  BUT this is what I don't know.... what does that kind of love look like?  Fake it till you make it?  From a distance?  How do you love someone....when you're having a hard time even liking them? 

My flesh gets angry....yet I know I'm called to love.  What does this look like?  How do you love....when you're hurt....I know what I'm supposed to do....I just don't know how to do it!

I think one key has to be forgiveness....and of course Randy has been doing a wonderful series on forgiveness in Sunday School.....so I'm sure as I truly forgive some of this unrest will settle.  I just can't imagine loving this person.....relating to this person.....their offense is not even that heinous....I've just realized I don't like them.  Which says a lot about me.  I have such ugly sin and I have been totally forgiven and yet I have a hard time liking someone because I set myself as the judge and the verdict is: fake, fraud, a wolf in sheep's clothing.........I hate fakeness.  I'd much rather someone be rude and real.  Judge not....lest you be judged in the same manner.......yet I judge!   ARGH!  I get on my own nerves!

Anyway....that's what is going on in my crazy head these days.  Trying to try to love the people who get on my every last nerve.  Trying to try to love people I don't even like.  How can I be like this?How can I be such a sinner and so hard hearted and so holding a grudge after all I've been forgiven?'  I've got problems!  BUT even though I KNOW what the right answer is....even though I KNOW my heart is sinful and unforgiving and judgemental.......I don't know HOW to love without feeling like I'm being fake?  I can act right toward this person....but God sees my heart....and that my friend is not a purty sight!

Hmmmmm.......