I am TIRED.
I am sick.
I have a yucky cold/sinus infection.
I am hurt.
I injured my ankle from what was diagnosed as over training.
Which makes me sad....but that is a whole other post.
I am resting it and that is hard for me.
Life did not get the memo that I am worn out and it is coming fast and furious.
So grandma is here. She is all settled in and it has been an adjustment. I expected an adjustment period. I anticipated changes and sacrifice. I knew things would change and they have. I thought the biggest sacrifice would be giving up our space. Giving up our big bedroom and closet and my most wonderful jet bathtub....but surprisingly these things are easy. I don't miss my room at all. My new room is cozy. It is quaint and sweet and much easier to keep neat. I like it. My old closet was too big. I always felt like I didn't have enough clothes. Now my closet is small and my wardrobe seems big. Perspective. The tub. My sanctuary. My nightcap. My retreat. Is not missed. I enjoy the girls bath just as well....well almost. But nevertheless it was not the sacrifice I imagined.
What it turns out that I miss the most is my freedom to come and go without forethought. To jump in the car and go on an errand or outing. Now I need a grandma sitter. While Andrew is a fine babysitter I am not comfortable leaving him responsible for Grandma, because if she falls or gets hurt or needs help I don't want him to shoulder that responsibility. So my coming and going is more regulated and planned. Don't get me wrong though. Having grandma has been much more of a blessing then an inconvience. I do get to come and go plenty.....I have so much help and support from The Stewarts, Home Instead, and a sweet lady named Ann.
Grandma causes me to slow down. She requires time. Patience. Repeating the same things over and over and over. It reminds me of my children, as toddlers. I wasn't nearly so patient, or slow, or willing to repeat. I wish I had a do over there....Well grandma has provided a chance to model what I wish I had done with my own children....been a little more patient....a little more slow....a little less hurried.
Grandma is kind. She is polite. She is HUNGRY. She thinks I don't feed her....but I do....2 breakfast, 2 lunches, a dinner or two, lots of coffee and snacks! She is thoughtful. She is strong.
Now that Randy and I moved into Audrey's room and booted her into Lydia's room they got bunk beds and they are LOVING their new bunk beds. These two are B-F-F
They LOVE sharing a room and vow to share even when Grandma doesn't live here anymore....We'll see if that really happens!
Grandma is not all that has been going on.....
We celebrated Lincoln's Birthday!!!! I can't believe that he is 3!!!! Love him!
We've been doing school and all that entails....Whew...I get tired just thinking about it!
That is a whole other post for another day!
What I have been thinking lately is this.....
I have a good life. I am blessed by living with people who love me and need me. I am learning the blessing of serving others. I am starting to seeing the beauty in the low things of life....the tying of shoes and the bending of my will, in wrinkled worn out bodies that keep on going even when it is hard, in the dressing and undressing, in the cooking and serving, in the cleaning of potty chairs and emptying of waste, in the mundane and the dirty and the low things there is a beauty there. There is a way to love there. There is a way to honor God in the dailiness of the meaningless and unimportant and filth of life. I am learning....slowly.....learning.
I am also learning that sleep is a sweet blessing to the weary. I sleep well!