Okay....its the time of year I get extra thinky.....I'm always sorta in my head but this time of year especially. If you read my blog regularly you know I'm a planner. I love plans.....however the Lord's been working on me.
I am becoming more and more convinced of the frailty of my plans...and I am becoming more and more convicted to live MORE INTENTIONALLY.
I am pretty intentional in my parenting and marriage and such....but I have had an epiphany......I wrote a few weeks ago a blog called MORE....longing for more.....wanting something big.....not satisfied.....seeking purpose. This is what God is showing me:
He doesn't call me to do anything big or miraculous. That is his job. My job is to say yes to him. My job is to walk with him and sit at his feet and love others. That is it. I just need to walk the path he leads me to and I need to LOVE. I am called to love. Love my children. Love my husband. Love my family. Love my people. Love my neighbors. Love my extended family. Love my enemies. Love strangers. Love those who need love.
So that is my goal for the year: To say yes to him.....if he wants to wreak my life and my plans and my dreams and my agenda....YES is my answer. I figure if I follow HIS plan... the adventure he has, the plans he has, the purpose he has- is going to be so worth it. While I wait and live and follow- my job is to grow and to learn and to love.
I'm not special and I'm not super....I'm a regular, sinful, person who God rescued from hell by his grace. My goal is singular....whatever HE wants. That is the only more that will satisfy me.
If you are inclined to pray for me....Pray that his will and his path will be clear....because I can be a bit clueless sometimes.....I need flashing signs and such!
Last night we had our annual "Christmas Adam" celebration at Mama's. It evolved when we (Stacy, Matt, and I) were in college. It was just a night we would get together at mom and dads for a no frills dinner and bonfire if weather permitted. Now we've added hubbies and kids and it is still a fun tradition. We still do a no fuss dinner, usually hot dogs or tacos....and then have a bonfire with Smores....YUMMY!
Let me give you a little peek at Mama's house and then I'll tell you a story about when I found out about Santa Clause.....
Mama is a decorating master. She has the touch. Every nook and cranny is decorated to the nines! She has always been like this. It is a gift she has for making things beautiful.
She can make a simple dinner a special affair.
This year she had an ornament specially picked for each of us.
Sophie-Fancy jeweled ornament
Lydia-Glittery Star ornament
Jackson-Super Hero decorate your own ornament with stickers
Audrey-a dog....when Audrey opened hers she said....."Nanny how did you know I loved dogs?"
Mama even put a star on the Fort out in the woods to bring a little holiday cheer!
My favorite decorations are the ones that remind me of my childhood....
My sister and brother and I would fight over who got to blow out which one.....
It's a wonder my Mama is still sane after all the fussing we did as children!
and this cute little fellow has witnessed many a kiss the doorway of Mama's kitchen....
has been knocked MANY times by my brother and sister and me.....growing up we would run through the door and leap up to hit the top of the frame with our hands and send this little fellow jingling all the way home. Mama said she got this guy on her and Daddy's first Christmas. So that was like42 years ago!!!!
This little Mrs. Clause was MY Granny's.....it actually is a dish washing soap bottle in disguise....and I think she kind of favors Granny :)
Awww....and that little sad Santa is Andrew!
I can't show you everything....it would be too much...but you get the picture!
I grew up in a different house but with the same Mama and the same magical Christmas charm.
My only word of advice is don't stand still too long....she might decorate you too...
So needless to say....Christmas was special....looked forward too....anticipated....enjoyed!
So.....you can imagine my shock when I found out about Santa!
So this is what happened:
It was a regular day in the Crabtree house. I walked into my parents room where my sister and mom were and as soon as I walked in they stopped talking! RUDE! Being a very self-centered 8 year old I just KNEW they were talking about ME! I cried....I begged.....I pleaded....I just HAD to know what my mom could possibly be sharing with my older sister that she could not share with me.
I was hurt....
So FINALLY.....my parents told me.....that they were just telling Stacy that:
THEY were Santa Clause....
OH MY WORD!
My world stood still.
My mouth hung open....
How could this be true?
All this time....I had no clue.
I was ECSTATIC....MY PARENTS WERE SANTA CLAUSE!!!!
I should have known! I was so lucky!
"FOR THE WHOLE WORLD????"
and then came the answer....the reality....
The news I NEVER suspected!
"No Kim we are not Santa for the whole world. We are your Santa."
WHAT? HOLD THE PHONE! SERIOUSLY....
I could not have been more shocked!
It was much easier for me to believe they were Santa for the whole world....then that there was not a Santa!
I was stunned I went from elated to devastated in about 30 seconds....
and no I didn't question Jesus or God. It didn't ruin my childhood.
I was disappointed. I believed 100%. I had no doubts.....I had no questions.
I didn't feel lied to. I didn't feel tricked.
However it did change Christmas for me. When I realized Santa wasn't real and that wasn't what Christmas was about I started to begin to understand why we celebrate Christmas.
This is one of my best childhood memories. It was sad at the time but it is so funny to look back on and remember.
I was a VERY believing child.
We ended the night with the kids decorating the outside trees....
Having Hot Chocolate....
and then headed back inside...
Mama had one more present for us to open before we left.
She knitted 10 scarves!
She didn't do one for Andrew, Randy, Dad, Matt, or Aunt Stacy...because they all assured her they would not wear one!
They were beautiful!
Can't wait to wear mine!
Thanks Mama for making Christmas so wonderful and magical and memorable!
You are better then Santa could ever be!
Love you forever!
PS The funniest and sweetest part of the entire night was when the kids put on the Christmas Story. I was so caught up in it I didn't take one picture! It was precious and I think Mama got it on video! I laughed till I cried and was so touched to see that they too are learning the real meaning of Christmas!