Thursday, October 24, 2013

What is Beautiful?

What is beautiful?  Is it smooth and flawless skin?  Or does it have wrinkles......  laugh lines?  Furrows and divots that suggest tears and laughter and living?

What is beautiful? Is it shiny, silky hair perfectly groomed?  Or is it a mound piled atop a head bent low.  Scrubbing toilets.  Emptying trash.  Wiping noses.  Wild and messy.....Is that beautiful?

What is beautiful?  Is it perfect words and eloquent prose? Is it knowing the right answer.....Every. Single.  Time.  Or is it broken?  Is it real?  Is it lost and empty and needing it not quite all together.....

What is beautiful?  The perfect outfit.  The coordinating jewelry and shoes?  Or is beauty displayed on the tattered T-shirt.  Spattered with a remnants of life.....dirt, waste, stains.....

Is living beautiful or just looking?

Is working beautiful or just buying?

Is serving beautiful or just pampering?

Is beauty skin deep or is it perhaps deeper? 

What is beautiful?

Fall Break

What a fantastic week this has been.
The Home Builders Academy was on Fall Break!  Yippee!!!

I love breaks from school!

I did a lot of baking .....and had a lot of helpers.



Chocolate Chip Cookies
Pumpkin Spice Bars
Pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese cinnamon frosting.

I got to make some delicious fall recipes: My favorite was Julia's Roasted Vegetables.  YUMMY!

It has become a staple at our dinner table!

We had play dates at the park. 

I read stacks of library books to the children.
I sat on the front porch with a cup of hot tea and read my own book too!

I celebrated a birthday with a sweet friend. 

Watched my boy play some good football.

Took several long walks and enjoyed the autumn hues and the crisp weather.

Ahhh......I like fall.

The fair!


The friends....
The chill.....

This week there was time to linger.  In the Word.  In relationships with friends and family.  We got to wake up slowly, stay up late, take bubble baths.  There was time for the fun stuff that the business of school so easily crowds out. 

Breaks remind me to live slower.  To savor more. 

I LOVE breaks where we slow down enough to enjoy each other....

We still had music to practice and appointments to keep, but without the pressure of school the pace  was so nice! 


Monday, October 14, 2013

The Great Weight Update.... weight loss is now officially DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

In the last month I lost.....drum roll please.....was 1.8 pounds.  Yep....That is it. 


I think there are several reasons:

1.  I have been at this for 16 months.  My body is getting used to the loss and I have a lot less to lose so naturally things will slow down.  I mean I have lost 88.6 pounds!!! That is a lot of change!

2.  I have stopped my super demanding exercise routine in favor of a much gentler and normal exercise routine.  I hurt my ankle pretty badly and whenever I try to run the pain comes as a throbbing reminder to STOP.  So....I am not burning nearly the calories I was burning which means I have had to make tremendous dietary changes.  UGH!  It also means my weight loss has slowed down....

There is no way around it...if you eat less then you burn you lose weight.  If you don't you don't!

So....I am going easy on myself.  I still have 15 pounds to lose before I am the correct weight for my height.  So barring a growth spurt, I'm not done losing yet!  Yet I am not on a time table.  I am still losing weight, be it a snails pace!  I am still eating a lot less then I used to eat and making MUCH healthier choices!  I am still working out....except now it is more like:
Tuesday-elliptical for 30 minutes
Thursday-walk with a friend for 30 minutes
Friday-run/walk for an hour
Saturday-walk for 20 minutes
Sunday-elliptical for 30 minutes
But compared to my former life this is great.  No, I am not running 9 miles, and yes that makes me sad, but I'm doing what I can do for now. 

I am still destroying food as an idol...every. single. day.  I am talking, praying, feeling, walking, thinking, writing.....and not nursing everything with food....which was my idol of choice.  I don't mean to make it sound simple.  It is not.  It is a daily and sometimes moment by moment reliance on the Lord and his truth. 

Weight loss really is a journey.  Sometimes on the fast tract and sometimes on the scenic tour! Ahh..

My focus is divided in many ways right now: Grandma's daily care, my children's daily care, discipline and disciplining and education.  Not to mention coping with a couple learning issues with my kids, loving my husband, serving my church, helping the poor, cultivating relationships, taxing kids all over creation, AND taking care of myself.  So I can't focus ONLY on losing weight and exercising and what I am eating......

It is not all about me and my weight loss.  The Lord has really helped me destroy the idol of food and comfort and I do still struggle with these areas....but he is faithful!  I do not want to make another idol.  As Dr. Davis says, our hearts are idol making factories.  They really are.  If not bout comfort.....that won't work......I know exercise....if not about dietary restrictions.....everything in moderation.  Such. a. journey.

So...I've had a healthy breakfast  I am resting my bum hurts!  I've made grandma coffee and started the kids breakfast and spent time in the word and I wish I had run a few miles....but I'm going to rest.  I'm going to keep at it.  Slow and steady and hopefully next month I will have lost a few more pounds...but now it is time to feed, and teach, and train my kiddos and tomorrow I hope to hit the elliptical!

I can tell you this....I like being healthy.  I like testifying to the work God has done in my life.  I like learning and growing and racing and running and training and living!

Still swimming....just veeerrrrry s-l-o-w-l-y.....


Monday, October 7, 2013


So....How come I'm not blogging as much as I used to?  Hmmm.....I don't know. 

I think because a lot of reasons.......

Life doesn't fit in a blurb on a page.  It is too full.  It is too complex.  It has too many layers.  It's not simple. 

Life is precious and vulnerable and can only be shared authentically with a select group of people.  Too much openness with everyone can cheapen the real relationships in life.

I'm enjoying my life a lot of the time and feeling overwhelmed  and lost in my life some of the time and the beautiful thing is that I have people in my life to share it with and to vent to and I don't need my online journal in the same way that I once did.

I've also learned that when you write something're done.  You can't explain it anymore.  There is no additional context.  No answering questions and no correcting misunderstandings and so I don't write things as freely as I once did.

We've also been busy.  Like everyone else on the planet. 

Busy eating cupcakes with friends.

Busy learning.



Savoring life.

And we have been busy with some music lessons and dance classes and football games and doctors appointments thrown in just to keep life interesting.

So I may not blog as much, but I am living more....and I like it!