Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus

I am reading the best parenting book I have EVER read....and I have read A LOT of parenting books, especially in my early years of parenting.  The book is outstanding and it is causing me to rethink my parenting.  I would HIGHLY encourage anyone to read it.  It is called Give them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus and it is written by Elyse Fitzpatrick.  I'm not done reading it so I'll probably write more but writing helps me to process what I am learning and I am learning soooooooo much.

I think most people would say I was a "good parent" even a "Christian parent".  I have done my best to be sure....but I have made big mistakes and I am realizing now one of those mistakes is that for the most part I have been a "good parent" but a lot of my parenting has not been distinctly "Christian".  Here is what I mean.  I have taught my children obedience.  I think that is so important-BUT, as the author of this book points out, any good Jewish, Muslim, Mormon, Atheist parent would do that.  Obedience is not the key.  What makes Christian parenting different then any other parenting?

The difference is the gospel.  I have to parent my kids in light of the gospel of grace if I want to truly be a "Christian" parent.  What does this mean? I have been praying for several years for the Lord to captivate my kids hearts....and this book is being used to give me a greater understanding of how I can be used in this process.  This is a frightening but true quote from the book:

"Christians know that the gospel is the message unbelievers need to hear.  We tell them that they can't earn their way into heaven and that they have to trust in Jesus alone for their goodness.  But then something odd happens when we start training the miniature unbelievers in our own home.  We forget everything we know about the deadliness of relying on our own goodness and we teach them that Christianity is all about their behavior and whether, on any given day, God is pleased or displeased with them.  It's no wonder that so many of them (some estimates are as high as 88 percent but none are under 60 percent) are lost to utter rebellion or to works-based cults such as Mormonism as soon as they are free to make an independent choice".

Guilty!

Yes I need to teach them obedience.  Yes discipline must occur.  BUT they need to hear the gospel every day.  I do not want prodigals.....but I even more do not want Pharisees.  One more quote I'm pondering these days from this book:

"Everything that isn't gospel is law.Let us say it again:everything that is not gospel is law.  Every way we try to make our kids good that isn't rooted in the good news of the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ is damnable, crushing, despair-breeding, Pharisee-producing law.  We won't get the results we want from the law.  We'll get either shallow self-righteousness or blazing rebellion or both.  We'll get moralistic kids who are cold and hypocritical and who look down their noses at others (and could easily become Mormons), or you'll get teens who are rebellious and self-indulgent and who can't wait to get out of the house.  We have to remember that in the life of our unregenerate children, the law is for one reason only: to crush their self-confidence and drive them to Christ.
The law also shows believing children what gospel-engendered gratitude looks like.  But one thing is for sure: we aren't to give our children the law to make them good.  It won't, because it can't.  In our hearts we know that's true because the law hasn't made us good, either, has it?"

GOOD STUFF....and it is sobering!
Our goodness is in Christ alone.....AND SO IS THEIRS!

God delights in welcoming sinners....yet we teach our children God wants you to behave.  He wants you to be good.  He is happy when you listen to mommy and daddy.  Yet.....really? Is our good behavior any more then filthy rags?  Our behavior good or bad, and our children's behavior good or bad, praise the Lord does not change how he sees us.  He loves us.  He delights in us.  He welcomes us and it is all because of Jesus.....and grasping the gospel truth is the ONLY thing that is going to captivate our hearts.....and their hearts.  My children are not good.  Neither are yours.  They are sinners.  They need to learn the gospel.  They need to be dazzled by who Christ really is and that will captivate their hearts.  Not the law.  Not being good for goodness sake.  The law shows us our need for a savior.....it shows us our lawlessness...but it will not change our hearts!

Oh, sweet Jesus.....get their hearts.  Forgive me for my reliance on the law and drive me toward grace.  Let me lavish them in grace.  Grace is scary.  It is reckless.  It is free yet it cost you everything.  It is wild and uncomfortable and terrifying.  The law is so black and white.  The law is so easy to administer.  Yet the law will not save them.  Please Jesus get their hearts!  Use me as you will.  Let me be your hands and let me bathe them in the gospel truth of your unbelievable grace everyday.  AMEN!


More later....this is so good!
Kim