Friday, November 22, 2013


I am thankful.

For a husband that is strong and is faithful and is funny and is nice to people outside our house....and inside our house.  He does dishes.  Washes dirty younguns. Folds laundry.  Teaches science lessons.  Whatever I need.  He is always serving and loving me.  I'm so thankful.

I am thankful.

For my children.  That overflow my heart with love.  I adore them.  Each and every one.  The ones that I stay up late praying for that in their self righteousness they don't miss their need for a Savior and the ones I wake up panic stricken for and praying that in their lawlessness they don't miss the their need for a Savior.  I'm thankful that I get to be their mom.  I love being a mom to obedient children that long to please and to prodigal children that long to be independent.  I love it so much.  I am also totally humbled by it.  The job is too big.  It drives me continually to my Savior.  I can't do it.  I don't know how and I am pretty sure most of what I am doing is probably wrong....but I'm so glad and so thankful that God chose me to do it.  I wouldn't trade it for the world!

I am thankful.

That I am not alone.  I have a Savior who goes before me.  I have God's word that guides me.  I have sweet friends that hold me accountable.  I have a Mama that prays for me.  I have a husband who walks with me.  I have a pack of younguns that are stalking me.  I am not alone and I am so thankful.

I am thankful.

For my church.  I love it.  I am thankful God led us here.  I am thankful that I am groaning in my sanctification (it isn't easy....its work!).  I'm thankful that I care about that.  I'm thankful that this is expected of me. 

I am thankful.

I never thought about idols too much.  Certainly not in the daily sense.  Now I do.  I am thankful for that.  I am always manufacturing something or someone to worship.  I'm thankful I am beginning to recognize these and destroy them.

I am thankful.

That I have lost weight.  I did not know how unhappy and how out of touch I was.  I am changed and I love living.  Not just doing and being and going....but really living life.

I am thankful.

For simple pleasures of life too: Hot tea on a chilly morning.  Sweet stories bestowed as lavish gifts upon a child.  Warm sand and salty beach breezes that simply remembering can buoy this Summer Girls mood on a cold, dreary, winter day.  Hugs.  Blankets.  Praise songs.  A good book.  A nap.

Sometimes I am even thankful for the hard stuff.
Like for dyslexia.  God uses it to teach perseverance.  Without the struggle I wouldn't taste her accomplishment.  For speech problems.  God uses it to teach understanding.  He teaches ears to listen.  Really. Really listen.  For unruly little boys.  God uses them to teach grace.   He uses them to reveal the sin hidden in my self-righteous heart.  So grateful for unruly little boys.  So. So. Grateful.  Sometimes I'm even thankful for grandmas.  That forget.  That don't know that they have eaten.  That need too much.  That repeat everything...that are broken and needy......learning to be thankful for grandmas. 

I am thankful

That sometimes just wearing your sons team colors is enough.  That occasionally a batch of Reese peanut butter cookies will make my mans day bright.  That often a gentle word and pile of grace will turn away wrath and defuse anger.  And when it doesn't I'm thankful for Jesus. 

What he gave is enough.  Every. single. time. 

I'm thankful that I don't have to have the answer.  I'm thankful that he saves those that don't behave.  I don't have to do it right. I want too but I can't.   I'm thankful that I'm allowed to mess up.  I'm thankful that he doesn't.  I'm thankful that he rescued me and he can rescue anyone he chooses.

I'm so thankful!
Blessed beyond measure!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Twas 2 Nights After Halloween

It's late.  The house is quiet.  The kids have all finally faded off to Dream Land.  Grandma has settled.  The men folk are away at the youth retreat and even Mindy is snoring at my feet. 

I like a quiet house.  A Lot.  It gives me time to think.  To ponder.  To plan.  To be.  Ahhh.....Add a cup of Orange Spice Tea and it really is quiet nice. 

I've been planning Christmas.  The shopping list.  The budget.  The gifts.  The parties.  The memories.  The food.  I love planning. 

This is the plan.  Do less.  Be more.  Buy less. Give more.   Decorate less.  Serve more.  Acquire less.  Require more.

That is it.

I really do want to light up my little section of the universe for Jesus. 

I don't want to be weird, but  I do want to be different.

Sometimes life can seem so pointless and busy and empty.
I want it to be on purpose and have space to savor moments and for it to be full.  Really. Really full.

I think when we live how God intends it becomes fuller.
In the giving and the serving and the being and the loving there is purpose.  There is meaning.  There is fullness. 

We get to be his hands. 

So this Christmas season I know it will get all hectic and I know I will get busy and I know it will fly by in a whir of fun activities and parties and good food and sweet family and friends....but I'm planning now....

I want to give gifts to people who need them.  The thirsty.  There are people in the world without access to clean water.  Unbelievable.  The hungry.  With growling stomachs, hungry.  The lonely. 

I want to spend time with people I love.  Family and friends.  Ones who will miss me one day.  Ones I will miss.

 I want to mourn the ones lost this past year and celebrate the ones still here.  Yet rest in the comfort that this loss is for a season.  We will spend eternity together. 

I want to light up dark places because Jesus lit up the dark of my life.  He rescued me from darkness. He still rescues me from my sinfulness.   He is the bright star of Christmas.  Shining.  I do NOT want to glorify myself....but to glorify HIM!  He is worth celebrating.

I want to teach my children.  To love others.  To give to the poor.  To serve.  To live for a purpose.  To follow Christ.  Yet I'm so much better at teaching them to fight for their own rights.  To want things.  To chill.  To be passive.  Oh....I want to do better.  Change me Lord. 

I do want to give my kids good gifts too.  What parent doesn't?  I just want more then that.   I just want this Christmas to be different.  Better.  Holier.