It has been 27 days since Randy and I left Andrew at school. Definitely the longest I've gone without seeing him, and I still have 27 more days until he comes home, yes I am counting! My goodness what is a Mama to do? I miss his face, I made him text me a picture the other day just so I could see him! I must say it was ROUGH starting out. I don't think you can really know until you've walked the road. I knew it would be hard, but it was not how I thought. There was lots of crying and a bit of withdrawal from people and things, but it was a necessary part of my grieving for a huge chapter of my life that ended, and praise the Lord it is becoming easier! I'm getting into the groove of my new normal. I do still miss him like crazy and think of him multiple times each day, but there is great joy and satisfaction in seeing your child make good choices and being so excited about life and functioning so well independent of Mom and Dad. He loves his church, his community group, his classes, the city, and has made so many friends. I'm just happy that he is so happy and I love so many of the choices he is making. I'm proud of him and it has nothing to do with some secret parenting recipe, it is all the grace of God. Thank you Lord!
One thing I've wondered through the process is what happened to my blogging? I used to write it all down. I wanted to preserve and record photos and memories. After reflecting a bit I've come up with several conclusions:
1. I'm busy....and when I don't have anything to do I don't want anything to do.....
My last week, 4 days of which were spent without Randy and Jackson because they were on a little road trip, went like this:
Get Sophia to school and home each day and do school with my three at home in the meantime. In addition we've had: 3 days of swim team,2 football games (one Jackson and one Duke), a football practice (we actually had 2, but skipped one), a Sunday School Lesson to prepare for and teach, a church picnic, 3 dentist appointments, a 2 hour clogging practice, a clogging show, a gymnastics class, a history class to prepare for and teach, a teacher luncheon at Sophia's school to sautee onions and peppers for and help setup, a meal to prepare and take to a friend, Co-op, Nursery, a piano lesson, a doctor's appointment, and of course regular house stuff: grocery shopping, errands for a birthday gift and props for a play and ink for the computer, dishes had to be done, laundry is never ending, and disciplining which is a lot like laundry....constant. And there was banking, and meals to prepare and lunches to pack and I wish I could say cleaning....but I didn't do that unless you count walking around picking up scattered trash and dishes and wiping the table and telling the kids to pickup their stuff and take out the trash.....that was the extent this week.....and the thing is this is what is like to be a busy mom. I'm not special....this week wasn't amazing....it's just life and it is at a busy stage! So blogging is not what is used to be!
2. I want to respect my kids privacy. I used to be an open book, but as my kids grow and develop and mature I want them to have the freedom to do so without the fear of my telling everyone about it.
3. I realize how unknowledgeable I am, and I in no way want to come across as "an expert" or judgmental , or awesome, cause I'm not.
4. I'm living it. Sometimes in an effort to take pictures and blog the beauty of the moment can be lost. So I may blog and I will take pictures, but only sometimes......