tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75230653773696272872024-03-04T23:25:30.689-08:00The Mother LoadLoads of Love, Life, Laundry, and ListsKimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.comBlogger469125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-34240945752086210752023-02-07T18:34:00.001-08:002023-02-12T12:55:16.429-08:00Red Sea Road<p> Sometimes life catches me so off guard in a way that leaves me breathless. It's only the second week of February and I feel like I've aged a decade this year! I'm so glad God goes before me. I'm so glad God is faithful. It has been a hard start to 2023. I must say that, nonetheless, I have been so overwhelmed in the midst of it all with God's goodness and sovereignty. While life catches me off guard it does not catch Him off guard. God knew EXACTLY the road I would be walking in these weeks and months and He prepared the way and walked before me in a way that is so sweet, so personal, and so precious to me. He is indeed good. </p><p>One of the ways I see His goodness to me is in a Spotify Playlist from my friend, Christi. She had this idea for us to make a playlist for our daughters about "Holding onto Hope" when life doesn't go our way. The girls were awaiting college decisions and we knew things may not go their way. Their hopes were pinned on being admitted to some tough schools. So Christi sent me this playlist and this huge compellation of scriptures she had gathered for the girls and she encouraged me to add to it, so we would have it for the girls if they had to deal with disappointment. Well.....turns out the girls didn't need it. They were very happy with their news about schools.....but I know now that God placed this in her heart and has used it to minister to mine. This playlist and these scriptures have literally been a lifeline to my heart as I hold on to hope. Thank you God!</p><p>That playlist has played for hours and ministered to my heart in ways nothing else has.....</p><p><b>"Red Sea Road"</b> Lyrics</p><p>"We will sing, to our souls</p><p>We won't bury our hope</p><p>Where He leads us to go </p><p>There's a red sea road</p><p>When we can't see the way</p><p>He will part the waves</p><p>And we'll never walk alone</p><p>Down a red sea road.......</p><p>Oh help us to believe</p><p>You are faithful. You're faithful</p><p>When our hearts are breaking</p><p>You are faithful, You're faithful</p><p>Oh grant us eyes to see</p><p>You are faithful. You're faithful</p><p>Teach us to sing</p><p>You are faithful, You're faithful, You're faithful."</p><p><b>Or "Into the Sea" Lyrics</b></p><p>"My heart is breaking </p><p>In a way I never thought it could</p><p>My mind is racing</p><p>With the question, "Are you still good?"</p><p>From the wreckage</p><p>Would you take this heart</p><p>And make it whole again?</p><p>Though the mountains may be moved into the sea</p><p>Though the ground beneath might crumble and give way</p><p>I can hear my Father singing over me</p><p>It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay"</p><p>Deep breath. It will be okay. Here's the cool thing though.....not only did the Lord provide this musical truth as a balm for my soul through my sweet friend, but I've been in the Word on my annual Bible reading plan....and guess what I'm reading....Exodus....Hello Red Sea...and guess who went before the Israelites....who led them.....who provided food in the desert...who was faithful when they were faithless.....YES, it was the Lord and He will go before me too! He will lead me too. He will feed me too. He will absolutely be enough. </p><p>A few more lyrics....<b>"Sovereign Over Us"</b></p><p>"There is strength within the sorrow</p><p>There is beauty in our tears</p><p>And you meet us in our mourning</p><p>With a love that cast out fear</p><p>You are working in our waiting</p><p>You're sanctifying us</p><p>When beyond our understanding </p><p>You're teaching us to trust</p><p>Your plans are still to prosper</p><p>You have not forgotten us</p><p>You're with us in the fire and the flood</p><p>You're faithful forever</p><p>Perfect in love </p><p>You are sovereign over us"</p><p><br /></p><p>This theme of the faithfulness of God has been on repeat in my life. He is faithful. He will be faithful. He is working. He can be trusted. Trusting His sovereignty and resting in His faithfulness and waiting for Him to finish the work He's begun. I have NO idea what the rest of this year holds, but praise God the one who hold's it is faithful and can be trusted to provide a way. He goes before us. He plants us in churches and in families with people who encourage us, pray for us, bring us meals, and listen to our heartaches. He gives us his word, which is new every morning. It really is going to be okay. He is working out his beautiful plan and he will be glorified and there will be some breaking and burning and heartache along the way......but it will be okay. He IS faithful.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-36813000964812355742022-12-31T18:16:00.000-08:002022-12-31T18:16:35.266-08:00A Look BackI always enjoy looking back at the year. I usually have to do it with pictures, because otherwise I can't quite remember what happened when. There were good times and there were bad times. I'm thankful for another year with our family and for God's faithfulness in the good and in the bad.<div><br /></div><div>January was uneventful, filled with basketball and work and daily life. The older I get the more thankful I am for the normal and uneventful days. <div><br /></div><div>February-The twins turned 16 and Audrey got her braces off. Both of which were cause for celebration.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0-yIRadpnP0qX9ToPTkK0MLe1z4M100AjvAxiLD9bJ3ipwPhsdDNqLtD8HsKA1HvM3pVJGACex2lesJyRQLTPxqbVRtNj06GHhuyS6-4yIHiBKk81Ap_iPQcRZhiWFLV2nqKv5_uXo2NM5wZ88MxtvNZcl04-hHJkMDP24vNHiAE04BW6L33Wq_cvQQ/s4032/IMG_0197.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0-yIRadpnP0qX9ToPTkK0MLe1z4M100AjvAxiLD9bJ3ipwPhsdDNqLtD8HsKA1HvM3pVJGACex2lesJyRQLTPxqbVRtNj06GHhuyS6-4yIHiBKk81Ap_iPQcRZhiWFLV2nqKv5_uXo2NM5wZ88MxtvNZcl04-hHJkMDP24vNHiAE04BW6L33Wq_cvQQ/s320/IMG_0197.JPEG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qCfV-Ra3-r7hRl7rF61fHCpSXibOgCvV4q1hd00PIADY1xMEpP3eVJ9JUsYA0LKWMGsKUnonXL3_0R4vi590TCpA1QO50iq_EQbEe25Qgm28l3KHqp88AyHYDPO0RB5O6Y0-xQpJY5nIMHi1B44YCaPH-9mnmwALRcMb6F32GwPZ1FW-QDh27jJEow/s4032/IMG_0165%20(1).JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qCfV-Ra3-r7hRl7rF61fHCpSXibOgCvV4q1hd00PIADY1xMEpP3eVJ9JUsYA0LKWMGsKUnonXL3_0R4vi590TCpA1QO50iq_EQbEe25Qgm28l3KHqp88AyHYDPO0RB5O6Y0-xQpJY5nIMHi1B44YCaPH-9mnmwALRcMb6F32GwPZ1FW-QDh27jJEow/s320/IMG_0165%20(1).JPEG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div>(the champagne was a gift from our orthodontist after our 5th graduated from braces! Audrey did not drink it.)</div><div><br /></div><div>March-Andrew turned 24. Sophia went to Charleston with a friend for spring break. Andrew completed his triathlon in Wilmington. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCYeFu9eXsU3wiIf7H10evXIe5CnhIRM0g2-8xhhfKrekWV0zQoK7yH4jBbinrfxFwiUWSa5x0utC4yPymd5Mr4hfKtlJLhNYdRBq7CTo8AdubArjmz8uL_ki29AXzFQN8C0_bTUBmpP507yE6b3DnQj1TbiVxym5IIWD_u54qhOIYUbaQtiN9D5IqFQ/s4032/IMG_8675.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCYeFu9eXsU3wiIf7H10evXIe5CnhIRM0g2-8xhhfKrekWV0zQoK7yH4jBbinrfxFwiUWSa5x0utC4yPymd5Mr4hfKtlJLhNYdRBq7CTo8AdubArjmz8uL_ki29AXzFQN8C0_bTUBmpP507yE6b3DnQj1TbiVxym5IIWD_u54qhOIYUbaQtiN9D5IqFQ/s320/IMG_8675.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUTPVVLO2iYkfh_NLuj4HOZAoAoFKF8--qMuouSRsZlQID2GIPof38qKoHzm93BQJAt4KWqmihRsqIVIXzmaTHwYZjf14cQv3ycmifNeCDbbcfopjwQDWtksA3e4Weeyk3Yk61jIFjFQYqcL4nk6HhMVqDNwc51WBGt4yez7hKztfttE_tNmXM2POwgg/s4032/IMG_8701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUTPVVLO2iYkfh_NLuj4HOZAoAoFKF8--qMuouSRsZlQID2GIPof38qKoHzm93BQJAt4KWqmihRsqIVIXzmaTHwYZjf14cQv3ycmifNeCDbbcfopjwQDWtksA3e4Weeyk3Yk61jIFjFQYqcL4nk6HhMVqDNwc51WBGt4yez7hKztfttE_tNmXM2POwgg/s320/IMG_8701.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>April-Audrey turned 15 and we pulled off a fun surprise party for her. We celebrated Easter with the family at Nanny and Pa's. Randy reached his goal of running 10,000 miles. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-yu6Y0ZHODQtVFGcMrtBDIBjpnDbKxX6glDlJ6NyYexgPNOuSPiRyM5D_vEBHcd41WMlQZHa3OJDyp3mSy8w0or-bguwXWdxfZCm7GHNgU24rZKZWB00pvu-nwly0uiJNGPgunC2kTeIAZxvpWph3x-hBYPECWEiupB2j-9CcIstjd7zC-dHPVfgu6Q/s4032/IMG_9098.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-yu6Y0ZHODQtVFGcMrtBDIBjpnDbKxX6glDlJ6NyYexgPNOuSPiRyM5D_vEBHcd41WMlQZHa3OJDyp3mSy8w0or-bguwXWdxfZCm7GHNgU24rZKZWB00pvu-nwly0uiJNGPgunC2kTeIAZxvpWph3x-hBYPECWEiupB2j-9CcIstjd7zC-dHPVfgu6Q/s320/IMG_9098.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAcJzy8GPhpOVVXl1izQtl3pEIPbsfkeNolJq-ho_aZiarExqjvD_QNi-oeSgzWfGTLz4lOTsH0Bau5-YjKA5B5Hd5btLJlRjFDJhR-aB_pYOHfW0uR6kZJ0xydu6roErpvZbxtZ7KsQG6P0Br45U3ADhxr8OLvlKGTiQKZ8SvzwKN5GARLk2AX30DSg/s4032/IMG_8953.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAcJzy8GPhpOVVXl1izQtl3pEIPbsfkeNolJq-ho_aZiarExqjvD_QNi-oeSgzWfGTLz4lOTsH0Bau5-YjKA5B5Hd5btLJlRjFDJhR-aB_pYOHfW0uR6kZJ0xydu6roErpvZbxtZ7KsQG6P0Br45U3ADhxr8OLvlKGTiQKZ8SvzwKN5GARLk2AX30DSg/s320/IMG_8953.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJtRnY93Sp9681TzTTWGHmPDCDXgr78R9mU1covsQ7oQ0U9IAAjjYQakefHQD2WKWKe20T406fNVysyckaAUzYL8uMcAEQJKxh_-5bypw489EM5xn4EjSvyBhLEPQnKkVong00hVwRgNdGNte2-cnpGD5iq0ZL3g9XpjHNhE8ca1ZDa-ivHIqkSXKbRw/s4032/IMG_9247.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJtRnY93Sp9681TzTTWGHmPDCDXgr78R9mU1covsQ7oQ0U9IAAjjYQakefHQD2WKWKe20T406fNVysyckaAUzYL8uMcAEQJKxh_-5bypw489EM5xn4EjSvyBhLEPQnKkVong00hVwRgNdGNte2-cnpGD5iq0ZL3g9XpjHNhE8ca1ZDa-ivHIqkSXKbRw/s320/IMG_9247.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNIbx70oqIeKpMUVFCY-_At5WI7PbnVbzwfjIjOeHBwcBbynMCt7qTkht1X_axazUM2Yx42CwUEWkxfNd_K0r8jYV8SSbSrtfDFQPqsJVgDDSrMauGBqIxgs9f6oZeIIntIY6iGE69vLDPUDeXWUfiYXkPDMfXBPhPkLiTP2gvd1E4rHc_ucHN0la7ig/s4032/IMG_1022.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNIbx70oqIeKpMUVFCY-_At5WI7PbnVbzwfjIjOeHBwcBbynMCt7qTkht1X_axazUM2Yx42CwUEWkxfNd_K0r8jYV8SSbSrtfDFQPqsJVgDDSrMauGBqIxgs9f6oZeIIntIY6iGE69vLDPUDeXWUfiYXkPDMfXBPhPkLiTP2gvd1E4rHc_ucHN0la7ig/s320/IMG_1022.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>May-Sophia turned 19. She moved home for the summer. Jackson and Lydia went to the prom with a fun group of friends. Lydia competed in the Rambling Rose triathlon. Jackson started working as a swim coach at Eno.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQuGCdTvnzKw1OdEATcgJnEP-gB_c6OQKTLSENvzURH7sFvn383iu3CJmBXO9j_xl9u7NhZ0fS9RXPSztHYhRZ59qgsRoN5BPvh1iaKCx6fuZfeqC_q6ztwDUp0epTjuUdE0waFpOFgH-BNdoqnyzDOVj_jXFc9SurnzKPMrZxDQjFLZx0hUjDzhlPPg/s870/IMG_9485.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="870" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQuGCdTvnzKw1OdEATcgJnEP-gB_c6OQKTLSENvzURH7sFvn383iu3CJmBXO9j_xl9u7NhZ0fS9RXPSztHYhRZ59qgsRoN5BPvh1iaKCx6fuZfeqC_q6ztwDUp0epTjuUdE0waFpOFgH-BNdoqnyzDOVj_jXFc9SurnzKPMrZxDQjFLZx0hUjDzhlPPg/s320/IMG_9485.jpg" width="276" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjPU7tGYxwbcR0SZsprNMFY0Bsxeh2QiOaMmdBCDEVmFHw2VlXSf0kupke1z65rE7OfCY-MK4oWDwyUMt_QeK6FUO7gnAycqMLEhJJc31PnfOmrNcSmh3bsHk_lYFY2sKRqHKX-X4QYfXvL993rEOfxIOrXFxqTA2XtQYuUgnFoxZX_tQUFFbdXDYZWQ/s4032/IMG_0559.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjPU7tGYxwbcR0SZsprNMFY0Bsxeh2QiOaMmdBCDEVmFHw2VlXSf0kupke1z65rE7OfCY-MK4oWDwyUMt_QeK6FUO7gnAycqMLEhJJc31PnfOmrNcSmh3bsHk_lYFY2sKRqHKX-X4QYfXvL993rEOfxIOrXFxqTA2XtQYuUgnFoxZX_tQUFFbdXDYZWQ/s320/IMG_0559.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL5S_x5T-P2OFHOxbvGz-llnYKhPvfy_7bi2oD8fiUms0g1pP2pgNANma2xDLjGvtQPtP-bKfIXwjVe3gFc_-w_c5hYowF9nJXAoCCvYpeb0MmPVW_e1LwmToieXpcNqkS3EiMEC1UZRFhF84XNOIKUo5TpnGB_y9JpqcKA0Ytc5rHxwg0dROC7kZu7A/s4032/IMG_9994.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL5S_x5T-P2OFHOxbvGz-llnYKhPvfy_7bi2oD8fiUms0g1pP2pgNANma2xDLjGvtQPtP-bKfIXwjVe3gFc_-w_c5hYowF9nJXAoCCvYpeb0MmPVW_e1LwmToieXpcNqkS3EiMEC1UZRFhF84XNOIKUo5TpnGB_y9JpqcKA0Ytc5rHxwg0dROC7kZu7A/s320/IMG_9994.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>June-We celebrated Randy's 47th birthday. The Crabtree family had a fun trip to Sugar Mountain. We went white water rafting and hiking. Randy and I tried to get away for a late anniversary trip, which ended up being cut short because some of the kids had COVID at camp. Jackson, Lydia, and Audrey went to youth camp at Black Mountain and Sophia went as a chaperone. Lydia and Audrey both found out they made the varsity volleyball team for Flight.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ7CgR58jIbCyDnVZbIkWUoN9ctcSNEr5uJFpRHUEaeONzYlcFMSaJvgxt5FH2K_rJPM3RcHTf1SgNvqMnienErQgr1ot2uxqh-Dwh6ciESGZj2ccHMhC0pOGYfBzdUFUf2qv8TaltJRHTt_b_D6lAvHB670vwYDm_PkmXOK1KOgyxFVDk6cja7kpcpQ/s4032/IMG_0157.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ7CgR58jIbCyDnVZbIkWUoN9ctcSNEr5uJFpRHUEaeONzYlcFMSaJvgxt5FH2K_rJPM3RcHTf1SgNvqMnienErQgr1ot2uxqh-Dwh6ciESGZj2ccHMhC0pOGYfBzdUFUf2qv8TaltJRHTt_b_D6lAvHB670vwYDm_PkmXOK1KOgyxFVDk6cja7kpcpQ/s320/IMG_0157.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3sJe1vLb6Q7toVvNATURMHb_E7EXZEfcgQJqebdmb0xvJBvR5-H4TDNhdx64vs8f5oZs3TGw-ufkqLsTO3nE6hfdjt5euPKA1BoIlknpPLSOypSpbu1X_9LUCeFmyW10pwR2EK5K_UEBb_tydwnL1DXvDJ07H5NGA16uEDfV8Em1NooQ1My92OAMiTg/s2592/IMG_3041.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1728" data-original-width="2592" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3sJe1vLb6Q7toVvNATURMHb_E7EXZEfcgQJqebdmb0xvJBvR5-H4TDNhdx64vs8f5oZs3TGw-ufkqLsTO3nE6hfdjt5euPKA1BoIlknpPLSOypSpbu1X_9LUCeFmyW10pwR2EK5K_UEBb_tydwnL1DXvDJ07H5NGA16uEDfV8Em1NooQ1My92OAMiTg/s320/IMG_3041.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>July-Kids came home from camp sick. Andrew ruptured his patellar tendon and had to have surgery. He moved into our house to recuperate and Sophia moved into his apartment so that he could have her room. Jackson had the swim championship meet. Jackson also got a major haircut.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_wcgzuipE3k0xYJOkP-sVWSG8hZf3pUQgClbPqr623Mn8TNBHM-9nnN4NlFYKqggKzLXqE8-a7v98FM4zHRDhXvU9zpwonzRWitENzAlU9jl360LU66TNc877Ev2X2YEzOU_2jDzmbNnXr0H8TfU0NWcrnB0Xtm3CuRWf72CFYMS5w49lkrjGclVsrA/s4032/IMG_0443.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_wcgzuipE3k0xYJOkP-sVWSG8hZf3pUQgClbPqr623Mn8TNBHM-9nnN4NlFYKqggKzLXqE8-a7v98FM4zHRDhXvU9zpwonzRWitENzAlU9jl360LU66TNc877Ev2X2YEzOU_2jDzmbNnXr0H8TfU0NWcrnB0Xtm3CuRWf72CFYMS5w49lkrjGclVsrA/s320/IMG_0443.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEBRPuj2Rz6Zn7m0RIOm9l7fj-Mj2au4eY2quQNYfyfQKigFhV6gyLgHExxwNZGjXN21lMUMWYLViYHUO4Sr0cbhapm5T7kMC51IGVZx4D5ShjI6lowV_WAyPfnPZzqmmfnIOW3rXsXQ8V1217rN1f8OP-WM353eXu7lKDURQn-TLDgc97dPoUXzeEwg/s1170/IMG_0460.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="684" data-original-width="1170" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEBRPuj2Rz6Zn7m0RIOm9l7fj-Mj2au4eY2quQNYfyfQKigFhV6gyLgHExxwNZGjXN21lMUMWYLViYHUO4Sr0cbhapm5T7kMC51IGVZx4D5ShjI6lowV_WAyPfnPZzqmmfnIOW3rXsXQ8V1217rN1f8OP-WM353eXu7lKDURQn-TLDgc97dPoUXzeEwg/s320/IMG_0460.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAMDUj4AWTz8ddQRuo7euVUNZpkBmYmU68D3EJQc6RPnXgCmhQX-duAZlHVaGbgZQGW6CGn31af4EnMseMwOVLB5OLB3nFsxHOrVLbxoxKmAmkO0RJAEiUcSPms70CTzNDVXO45y8jeMrnnQQSIKYaZY0b92wfdPMGcw0s80KfNu8OakMvp-KKhrydPg/s4032/IMG_0546.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAMDUj4AWTz8ddQRuo7euVUNZpkBmYmU68D3EJQc6RPnXgCmhQX-duAZlHVaGbgZQGW6CGn31af4EnMseMwOVLB5OLB3nFsxHOrVLbxoxKmAmkO0RJAEiUcSPms70CTzNDVXO45y8jeMrnnQQSIKYaZY0b92wfdPMGcw0s80KfNu8OakMvp-KKhrydPg/s320/IMG_0546.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>August-Jackson and Lydia started taking classes at Durham Tech. We had a lake day with the Stewarts. I started my 3rd year teaching 3rd grade at Voyager. Randy and I celebrated our 26th anniversary. We moved Sophia into her first apartment at UNCW. One of our young drivers totaled our car, "Sparkie". Praise the Lord nobody was injured. Audrey tried out for several club volleyball teams.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYhuEIQAqwO9owmDc6vQz7tfMJDF7E_YDeHjtMYAQ8q85CRqGcsI_1qvd4mZRPBLCw7ESPj3EVR1SCNvMst8IiuG1ztQ2KUWJpRjF9jACxktFVFhI0JB-bh5OH2MchfIWzcEwVX2j9kBU9yf1cujpAEvqU_wDBsTLImTv5KUHBNPuDpqop0oKjV7b72Q/s2707/FullSizeRender.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2707" data-original-width="1614" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYhuEIQAqwO9owmDc6vQz7tfMJDF7E_YDeHjtMYAQ8q85CRqGcsI_1qvd4mZRPBLCw7ESPj3EVR1SCNvMst8IiuG1ztQ2KUWJpRjF9jACxktFVFhI0JB-bh5OH2MchfIWzcEwVX2j9kBU9yf1cujpAEvqU_wDBsTLImTv5KUHBNPuDpqop0oKjV7b72Q/s320/FullSizeRender.JPEG" width="191" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlGUU5ZQhE9o_wFcjXPPuJN6YwM4LVPwLHuHze_Uha9uSvG8h06c8uo15J1WctGD-KgMd8ZZzNIQPTCHMe14n7pxiIlwKLJwbX4s5fcNRcnsT-k3RJJD6c0wP5NMXzkhIqlBRYk4BWw1nNptchQOiHtm6vAYQJj1A6zdukOpOrgIIEtJ27wd0TdXYTA/s4032/IMG_0845.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlGUU5ZQhE9o_wFcjXPPuJN6YwM4LVPwLHuHze_Uha9uSvG8h06c8uo15J1WctGD-KgMd8ZZzNIQPTCHMe14n7pxiIlwKLJwbX4s5fcNRcnsT-k3RJJD6c0wP5NMXzkhIqlBRYk4BWw1nNptchQOiHtm6vAYQJj1A6zdukOpOrgIIEtJ27wd0TdXYTA/s320/IMG_0845.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPTes2vvf-TOFX4ANYrbuwvgoEWqCd_ozW6NH4tAAIt64v-JlzRZ_OchdFjgD4jYMfN-HYiwKOe5KHISf5pw7C_W_zRpB5O0qEhjcRvBpREbhA_OEwcfKjePkktdSmV_Qt9gxXuFG7ER8SxLzG7zls7gSbVh3FUzMSfFzf5FGJ2qfzZpumaEgOPMWpJA/s4032/IMG_0910.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPTes2vvf-TOFX4ANYrbuwvgoEWqCd_ozW6NH4tAAIt64v-JlzRZ_OchdFjgD4jYMfN-HYiwKOe5KHISf5pw7C_W_zRpB5O0qEhjcRvBpREbhA_OEwcfKjePkktdSmV_Qt9gxXuFG7ER8SxLzG7zls7gSbVh3FUzMSfFzf5FGJ2qfzZpumaEgOPMWpJA/s320/IMG_0910.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>September-We celebrated my 47th birthday. Sophia and Aubrey went sky diving. We went on a family beach trip. I took the girls to Gatlinburg for the National Homeschool Volleyball Tournament. Lydia had her volleyball senior night.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFaW-_pfzB-Kke2rTfvuC4kjT1OP5ZC-gC6M6Rq-sbmGahb26mguCIjnSg3R9u21G22zlu7zYon0D00KkdX7MgK97MxhWloNoyNX3UpdWYRXJBJC__yFq6wjWCmmNIn2p2T1TUiY0pFVVjaPgTx-oFZxV9peFdXWv8vvhKgtu93CELwMEVlrXvGBYD7g/s4032/IMG_1132.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFaW-_pfzB-Kke2rTfvuC4kjT1OP5ZC-gC6M6Rq-sbmGahb26mguCIjnSg3R9u21G22zlu7zYon0D00KkdX7MgK97MxhWloNoyNX3UpdWYRXJBJC__yFq6wjWCmmNIn2p2T1TUiY0pFVVjaPgTx-oFZxV9peFdXWv8vvhKgtu93CELwMEVlrXvGBYD7g/s320/IMG_1132.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTvlhGotEO7m4Fofk_hse1xV1CoXKkMYWqBew2Si_auSXDB5LYr2rWzZJilnGn8XER1zIk2Q-CPAnWLZAdpyyxch37CfFg-RjhzdEStPyJ2sRLTXwQPf_-nQlYiPLzvZ1sKPkTSCXxPF1cIy77cSZ6TMXA9wA-oQ1yoaNPEgPxFW6zkTCOYzTf0ArJpw/s4032/IMG_1384.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTvlhGotEO7m4Fofk_hse1xV1CoXKkMYWqBew2Si_auSXDB5LYr2rWzZJilnGn8XER1zIk2Q-CPAnWLZAdpyyxch37CfFg-RjhzdEStPyJ2sRLTXwQPf_-nQlYiPLzvZ1sKPkTSCXxPF1cIy77cSZ6TMXA9wA-oQ1yoaNPEgPxFW6zkTCOYzTf0ArJpw/w291-h206/IMG_1384.jpg" width="291" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhix61JDoZqo6zbnuhCnMCXg37A7Vfy0_C-dBtsPsoNo2mXb7My0Zc4Xx9muLsvqqmtEEZ6i8YocvGiVxOMZHaHDIiRLNtSYrJG-YtYd6xtR0QxfUCS8xv_xhRpKl-PQmplGlRwz5Jvo-7MepY6aoMXXTiRtDAhqhTAX3j7eLvArCz7c7Bjf4ZScA3DZw/s4032/IMG_1194.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhix61JDoZqo6zbnuhCnMCXg37A7Vfy0_C-dBtsPsoNo2mXb7My0Zc4Xx9muLsvqqmtEEZ6i8YocvGiVxOMZHaHDIiRLNtSYrJG-YtYd6xtR0QxfUCS8xv_xhRpKl-PQmplGlRwz5Jvo-7MepY6aoMXXTiRtDAhqhTAX3j7eLvArCz7c7Bjf4ZScA3DZw/s320/IMG_1194.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>October-Kids went to Camp Caraway. Lydia began her new job at Foster's. Basketball started gearing up and volleyball started wrapping up. Sophia started having severe unexplained bruising. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1g9IfqVxxPxUHWGaLx5UEhq-qGYsWWeXNDUaJqP2HA63KswdU6SocuMqwMGEvT7uzE35IdXrPx-fia1zW4B32CF8mwZT9ytqHYS0VnL0izj8-ZED_3h9H_fAw3jAsIaMVD5vKdM5KN5dhAO_L0ezFJn563lSM51Z1eH2I9_I0t86z9J3XcAzUlOVqQg/s2000/FBC%20Fall%20Retreat%202022_2022-09-24_132-WEB_Original.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1438" data-original-width="2000" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1g9IfqVxxPxUHWGaLx5UEhq-qGYsWWeXNDUaJqP2HA63KswdU6SocuMqwMGEvT7uzE35IdXrPx-fia1zW4B32CF8mwZT9ytqHYS0VnL0izj8-ZED_3h9H_fAw3jAsIaMVD5vKdM5KN5dhAO_L0ezFJn563lSM51Z1eH2I9_I0t86z9J3XcAzUlOVqQg/s320/FBC%20Fall%20Retreat%202022_2022-09-24_132-WEB_Original.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>November-Mom and Dad completed the beach house!!! Dad was diagnosed with stage IV lymphoma. We celebrated mom's birthday. Sophia diagnosed as having terribly low iron and scheduled for first of 3 iron infusions. Crabtree family beach trip for Thanksgiving. Randy and Jackson hit by a drunk driver. The car was totaled, Jackson had a concussion, and Randy had injured legs. The drunk driver fled the scene of the accident. Jackson and Randy missed work and Jackson also missed a lot of basketball and school, but thankfully they are healing!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYy36A1G5UyXLwZ7udgfqyBGhmn52ZStBaUBwV534BsJqIGtlFKaCSaTN5-jRIUYcZ4PmwHcqgKqLw3fPpzvWfWYNVItecqrfBZQSP2lulTI3zF0G2Kdncxk4W6OByO7BMggOoiTsyyMuGfWNQQ_E2diC7fsQSAcid-LL_cONhWlsrp4zg94rrA0cWLA/s4032/IMG_1847.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYy36A1G5UyXLwZ7udgfqyBGhmn52ZStBaUBwV534BsJqIGtlFKaCSaTN5-jRIUYcZ4PmwHcqgKqLw3fPpzvWfWYNVItecqrfBZQSP2lulTI3zF0G2Kdncxk4W6OByO7BMggOoiTsyyMuGfWNQQ_E2diC7fsQSAcid-LL_cONhWlsrp4zg94rrA0cWLA/s320/IMG_1847.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF0JqJLYUk6GBVygyns771xZPBi0hI54cIvEsOOAjGvJRCfRtYqtD381gVmqiCoCng4aKmZtq5vyFVrhYVrvbB7Jt5BlsohhkLVRfhf8jJORYO5j1zwE0UXTXQkhlIs7jOC6F53RehyTYdwRzuYmMlqmGFHJdqwJ3dxuh06DvnlI-htBd4VdauJat_BQ/s4032/IMG_1954.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF0JqJLYUk6GBVygyns771xZPBi0hI54cIvEsOOAjGvJRCfRtYqtD381gVmqiCoCng4aKmZtq5vyFVrhYVrvbB7Jt5BlsohhkLVRfhf8jJORYO5j1zwE0UXTXQkhlIs7jOC6F53RehyTYdwRzuYmMlqmGFHJdqwJ3dxuh06DvnlI-htBd4VdauJat_BQ/s320/IMG_1954.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div>November was tough. </div><div><br /></div><div>December-Dad begins chemo treatment. Went on day trip to Wilmington to see Unchambered. Audrey nominated co-captain of her club volleyball team. Celebrated Christmas with both sides of the family. Our niece, Emoni, is engaged to her boyfriend Andre! We went to the beach to ring in the new year. Jackson is slowly returning to school, work, and basketball. Randy still struggling to run and continues to have leg pain. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMW3uB35I47UxJnBOyaWtFugPUrO3xZJJRtgj6c__r5lBwB2s_lTHxBqKTPcWttmK0PWAE1mL_P2-AYo4OIrApdYCXVHxezon1tzhvOHdxjGeHz4iUDb-N4Ix5TYdDL8rf0VD_Wcthmj3LMS82C8SUNLK677MMvvbO2CMLsihvjtwpbEkefsbduexteg/s4032/IMG_2354.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMW3uB35I47UxJnBOyaWtFugPUrO3xZJJRtgj6c__r5lBwB2s_lTHxBqKTPcWttmK0PWAE1mL_P2-AYo4OIrApdYCXVHxezon1tzhvOHdxjGeHz4iUDb-N4Ix5TYdDL8rf0VD_Wcthmj3LMS82C8SUNLK677MMvvbO2CMLsihvjtwpbEkefsbduexteg/s320/IMG_2354.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So here's to 2023. My prayer is that we will grow in godliness and that we would know Christ better. I also pray for healing and health. I'm so thankful for the people God has brought into our family this past year and for the amazing memories and moments we've shared as a family. God has been very good to us.</div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-67666121823806716412022-11-03T03:24:00.001-07:002022-11-03T03:24:14.793-07:00Smallness<p> One thought I keep having as I contemplate idea of BECOMING is the idea of smallness. I remember as a little girl lip singing to Tiffany and Debbie Gibson with my hairbrush into my bedroom mirror. I was on point. I was all in and gave it 100%. I had every word down. I could work a crowd! I imagined the crowds, the cheers, the glitz, the glamour, and the fame. Well the good Lord in his wisdom did not bless me with a singing voice, so fame eluded me. The thing is.....why would I even want to be famous? What even is the point? I stumbled across a book title, while listening to a podcast this summer. I have not read the book, however I do want to. The title was, Famous at Home. It resonated. I do want that. I want to be well known at home. I want to be adored and loved and accepted at home and I want that for my people. I want our home to be their stage. I want them to feel important, loved, adored, known, and desired and seen in our home. </p><p>So for me as I enter this next phase of life I want to focus on the daily. I want to major on the small things. I want to cook the meals. I want to eat the meals with them around the table. I want to pile on the couch and all watch Survivor. I want to hear about their days, their thoughts, their annoyances, their dreams, and their plans. I want to know what they love and what the want and what bothers them. I want to be a hugger......I'm not.....but I am BECOMING one.</p><p>So these are the things I want to remember as my roles change. I want to present when they need me. I want to listen. I want to be dependable. I want to love, even when they are not very loveable. Smallness matters. The unseen is seen. The daily counts. </p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-26632677188534550922022-10-15T02:19:00.008-07:002022-10-15T04:55:44.465-07:00Becoming<p> I can't believe I started this blog over 12 years ago. It's been years since I blogged regularly, but I am thinking about starting back. When I began blogging it was a way to remember. When I stopped, it was to preserve my kids privacy. I am so thankful that I chronicled what I did, because I honestly don't remember a lot of it. It went by fast! Blogging was a way for me to process the onslaught and at times what felt like trauma of motherhood! Now, I feel like I am on the brink of unemployment. In 1-2-3 years, really less.......because it's October....and they tend to leave in August....my life is going to walk out the door. Then what?</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOt1O7mddPQaekUPPwpDa90FMpOR6UkjJL2saIDFunraZjalZS-zffV1TTR7dSR5wQM-EhGnYJRm7-_95HATpNP58-hgCcmYVRihQl6NSIaekVA6rewTq0R-QNABdxEb9k4S9aC3zTO9EelYqZp6eORl2eIQ-64f4pwiz94i_iDnWp0yb7dZQ0xq-4dw/s1600/IMG_3192.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOt1O7mddPQaekUPPwpDa90FMpOR6UkjJL2saIDFunraZjalZS-zffV1TTR7dSR5wQM-EhGnYJRm7-_95HATpNP58-hgCcmYVRihQl6NSIaekVA6rewTq0R-QNABdxEb9k4S9aC3zTO9EelYqZp6eORl2eIQ-64f4pwiz94i_iDnWp0yb7dZQ0xq-4dw/s320/IMG_3192.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>When this blog started Andrew was 12.....and now he's 24 and has a college education, graduate degree, career and his own apartment and bought himself a car.....and I'm definitely not parenting him anymore! Sophia is now in her junior year of college.....a junior?!? She will be graduating with a degree in communications next year.....and be an official adult. I still parent her a little, but that role is definitely changing and definitely is not daily. Lydia was just 4 when the blog started and now she is about to graduate a year early from high school and fly the coop! She is so ready, but I don't think I am. She's been busy with school, and ACT prep, college applications, her job, volleyball, and her people.....and I've been busy trying to hang on. I feel like I've been robbed of a year with my precious girl. Jackson will graduate right on time, next year. Then I won't have any more basketball games to cheer for or drive to and I LOVE basketball games.....and in 2 short years there will be no more late night requests for butter noodles and last minute requests to iron clothes. The house will be cleaner, but it will also be quieter, he brings so much energy. Then Audrey, my sweet baby girl who was only 3 when the blog started....and yes, she still adores our dog and her blanket, but now she has her permit and does her own laundry and keeps our kitchen stocked with deserts. In less then 3 years Audrey will graduate...and then...no more volleyball.... No one to remind to use their manners at the dinner table......no more crazy antics.....no one to mimic the way I talk.....No more chocolate chip cookies without chocolate chips. Three short years and I'm done with my daily job. My life work......Over. 1-2-3, don't blink! </p><p>And friends....the days were so S-L-O-W.....but the years....Where on earth have the years gone?</p><p>So much of my world and my life has been wrapped up in being a mom. I wanted to be a Mama since I was a tiny little girl and I've spent the last 24 1/2 years living that dream and my whole world is about to be rocked and honestly I don't think I'm ready. I LOVE this phase of parenting. The kids can do their own laundry and school and make their own food and have good conversations and interesting points of view and they bring all these amazing friends and people into our home and lives. It's just a fun, yet very expensive, season of life. I love going to the games and hearing about the parties and listening to them blare music and sing loud and laugh and dress up and dance. The wrecking cars and broken hearts and big emotions and full schedules are tough....but I have a feeling the empty and the quiet and the simple is going to be even tougher. But heaven knows I better get ready! Ready or not, here it comes!</p><p>One thing I wasn't prepared for when Andrew left, was that I didn't just lose Andrew. I lost Andrew's people. His friends and their families and teammates and their moms. We had formed a tribe and when Andrew left I no longer saw these people and I missed them. I missed the shared meals and cheering and crossing of paths. Change is tough.</p><p>So this phase of the Mother Load is likely going to look a bit different. It's going to be a journey to becoming me. You see I got married while I was still in college. I was 20 years old and I love Randy, and my decisions and I would not change a thing, but I was young....and I was a wife and finishing up college and after only 11 months of marriage, I was pregnant with Andrew and 9 months later at 22 I was a mom, and then at 25 I lost a baby and my world was shattered, and at 27 I had another baby, and at 30 I had two more babies, and at 31 I had another baby....and I was swimming in crying babies, and diapers, and bottles, and cooking, and laundry, and cleaning, and training, and schooling, and grieving....and now.....Whew! It has BLOWN by.....and here we are. </p><p>I'm 47 years old and I am almost finished with the every day parenting that I have LOVED...and I'm not even really sure who I am apart from being a mom....I mean yes I have other roles; wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, maid, libero tracker :)..and yes I'll always be their mom.... but that role is changing. So I'm going to take some time and figure out who I am and what I love. </p><p>At 47 with gray hair and grown children I do feel a little late to the game, but I am excited about BECOMING who God created me to be in this next phase. I feel like I spent a lot of my early years reacting and responding and making it through the days. There was not a ton of time for self-reflection. This I know; I was created to be their mom and it has literally been the greatest joy of my life.....but I know there is more. I'm not done, just because my job is wrapping up a bit. So now.....I'm going to try to figure it out! And no, I'm not bailing on the last 3 years....I'm all in. I'm going to savor it all, but I just don't want to be totally slayed come August 2025....So here's to BECOMING Kim.....</p><p>How? I'm not exactly sure.....but welcome to the journey!</p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-82573971226028202142022-02-09T03:38:00.004-08:002022-02-09T04:14:51.948-08:00February 10<p> Tomorrow Jackson and Lydia turn 16. How can this be? Friday, we will head off to the DMV for 2 drivers licenses? If life had been different, tomorrow Matthew would have been 21. An official adult. I would be celebrating all three of these precious lives. Toasting our making it to Matthew's adulthood. I would have 21 years of hugs, kisses, fevers, sports, scraped knees, schooling, driving, people, and memories.....I often wonder what he would have been like.....hard working, academic, funny, a handful? Some years I wonder more than other years. This year I wondered a lot.</p><p>Randy and I were 26. We had a precious three year old, Andrew. I was very pregnant with our much anticipated Matthew. One day, right near the end....Matthew stopped moving. I rushed to the doctor, we heard a heartbeat....false alarm.....or at least that is what I thought. They said near the end there is just not enough room for a lot of movement.....okay....but as I waited and waited, I felt nothing. I called the doctor again. They told me to come to the hospital, it was after hours. They couldn't find a heartbeat. They quickly ordered an ultrasound. That's when I saw him. He was there, but there was no flashing. Something was wrong. The room was quiet. I was confused. It took me a minute to realize what everyone else already knew. Then came the wailing. The screaming. The heartbreak. My baby was dead. </p><p>I've always asked a lot of questions.....ask my family! The questions began.....</p><p>How will he get out?<span> </span><span> </span><span> Labor.</span></p><p><span>How will I go into labor if my baby is dead. It will just happen if you want to wait, or we can induce labor.</span></p><p><span>Will it still hurt?<span> Yes.</span></span></p><p><span><span>Why did this happen? What went wrong? Does this happen much? Will the baby be black and decayed? Are you going to just throw him away? Can I see him? Do I have too? Can you do a C-section and just knock me out? </span></span></p><p><span><span>Dr. Fried sat for hours and answered question after question after question. </span></span></p><p><span><span>They began the induction that night. It was a Wednesday. I started having contractions on Thursday and finally gave birth to our precious Matthew on a Saturday afternoon, February 10 at Durham Regional. There was no screaming, except from me.....no rushing, no congratulations, no good job, Mama....just a lot of tears and pain and quiet. </span></span></p><p><span><span><br /></span></span></p><p><span><span>There were also some answers. He had a "true knot" in his umbilical cord. He was not decayed. He was a fully formed baby. We held him. I examined his finger and toes and fuzzy little head. His name had been picked out for a long time. Matthew-a gift from God. Should we change his name? I wondered. It was such a good name. We loved it. Now we could never have a living child named Matthew. I talked to my brother, whom he was named after. I wondered if he wanted us not to use it anymore. This didn't feel like much of a gift. After much thought and some discussion we decided he would always be Matthew. A gift from God. Little did we know that day in the hospital, what a gift he would be. </span></span></p><p><span><span><br /></span></span></p><p><span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh6P7K--ANCw0z9U0onAUT-6gKZlBhaSxChMuQDyIhSO82zhKRUlNPDp2mDtSVIRff5FUC1KyZtvLNuqJa-rj8mJ6vC2RXqEll05IM7dw44yzHiqG9g2rJ3MXut78m5rGDdhix3cvwX730I1vVlmznPlQLOWD88PGqAjvt7VNdIngLAqqmxb69WlhjNKQ=s800" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="497" data-original-width="800" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh6P7K--ANCw0z9U0onAUT-6gKZlBhaSxChMuQDyIhSO82zhKRUlNPDp2mDtSVIRff5FUC1KyZtvLNuqJa-rj8mJ6vC2RXqEll05IM7dw44yzHiqG9g2rJ3MXut78m5rGDdhix3cvwX730I1vVlmznPlQLOWD88PGqAjvt7VNdIngLAqqmxb69WlhjNKQ=s320" width="320" /></a></span></div><span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><span><br /></span></span><p></p><p><span><span>The days after losing Matthew were a blur. We went to the circus. That was surreal. Life went on, I kept thinking nobody here knows I had a dead baby yesterday. So much joy and sparkles and life and I felt dead and empty and broken. Then there a funeral with this miniature casket. We sang, "It is Well with my Soul." All the church ladies brought food and sent sweet cards and I read my Bible. I was in Job. "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. May the name of the Lord be praised." It stuck. It fit. It kept reverberating in my brain and then to my heart. It became my mantra. I knew in this moment I would either turn to God or turn away. Praise God he drew me to himself. Then in the Psalms came this strange verse; "Know that the LORD has set apart the faithful for Himself; the LORD will hear when I call to him. Be angry and do not sin; on your bed, reflect in your heart and be silent." </span></span></p><p><span><span>The "on your bed and be silent" felt like a direct order to keep my mouth shut. I was asked to share about my loss with a few women's groups at church. I didn't really understand, but this verse always popped into my mind and I always felt the need to say no. I didn't know then what God was about to do. </span></span></p><p>It had been a journey filled with much healing and spiritual growth and some answers and more questions. We had another little girl, Sophia. She was the apple of our eye, and spoiled rotten. The doctors were wrong. They had told us a knot in the umbilical was a freak accident and it would never happen again. Despite almost weekly ultrasounds throughout my pregnancy with Sophia, it did happen again. Sophia was born with a knot in her umbilical cord and it was wrapped around her neck twice. Yet she lived. The knot did not kill Matthew. God in his loving sovereignty allowed for Matthew to die and Sophia to live. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. May the name of the Lord be praised.</p><p>We always wanted a bunch of kids, so we were excited to find out we were expecting again. Andrew was 7 and Sophia was 2 and we were so happy. Then we found out we were not expecting 1 baby, but we were expecting 2! They were due in March. My pregnancy history had me flagged as high risk from the beginning and because we were having twins they continued to follow me very closely. I was to report anything unusual. So on February 9, after a day of shopping and having Andrew and Sophia's pictures taken, I was home getting them bathed and ready for bed and noticed my feet were the size of a tree trunks. I thought it was probably nothing but called the doctor because they were so interested in everything. The doctor said to meet him at the hospital. We dropped the kids at my mom's and headed to the hospital, with a bag-just in case. I was whisked to labor and delivery where they quickly determined my blood pressure was through the roof and the only thing that would help was for the babies to be delivered....now. Jackson was breech and it was early and my blood pressure was so high they felt a C-section was the safest route. So they quickly prepped me. It was late. Just before midnight. at 12:19 on February 10 Jackson was born and one minute later Lydia was born. They were screaming. It was February 10.....I was in the same hospital I had been in 5 years earlier, to the day. That day the room had been so quiet. Today there was so much bustling and crying and noise. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. May the name of the Lord be praised. God has removed our sackcloth and changed our mourning into joy.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjdyog7vLqaOad1NH4N3pQnNVDylqFokOGxUHHfwFsRNFpvKLCwmeIAzU3ef1mwxmA7ZZcEPiARY2kIQ2t20IkPIDY7oajIXP66irpEOZAvdwqjpIJda_vNQc6jgXW12QTCmMtJfri_nJrzrxm1DyYh_4hzOXM3U8pfkceYj4sVwclrsQ6lySsufgNczg=s800" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="541" data-original-width="800" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjdyog7vLqaOad1NH4N3pQnNVDylqFokOGxUHHfwFsRNFpvKLCwmeIAzU3ef1mwxmA7ZZcEPiARY2kIQ2t20IkPIDY7oajIXP66irpEOZAvdwqjpIJda_vNQc6jgXW12QTCmMtJfri_nJrzrxm1DyYh_4hzOXM3U8pfkceYj4sVwclrsQ6lySsufgNczg=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>So much time has passed. So much healing has happened. So much growth. This year the loss in that hospital room 21 years ago is a little fresher. You see it happened to this sweet young couple at our church. They lost a baby that was about to be born. The mom and dad invited me into their hospital room. I got to meet their sweet girl. She was real. She existed. She was precious. As I held her my arms ached with the weight of her and my heart ached with the knowledge of the journey I knew her sweet parents were embarking upon. I missed Matthew anew. I had trouble sleeping for a few days. Infant loss, especially preborn infant loss is a loss people can't quiet see and don't quiet understand. It's uncomfortable. But it is real. I held her and I held him and they were real. Very, very, real.</p><p>But let me tell you what else is real. God is real. He is in the details. He took a day that meant nothing to the world, but meant everything to Randy and I. A day marked with loss and sadness and he redeemed it as only he could. He gave us a double portion of his goodness. Jackson and Lydia were not given to replace Matthew, but God has used the date "coincidence" to sooth a Mama heart and to remind me, he sees, he knows, he plans, he orchestrates. None of it....the good or the bad is an accident. God gives and God takes away....may His name forever be praised. I no longer feel compelled to be silent. Rather I feel compelled to share about the goodness of a loving God who in his kindness to me both gives and takes away. I don't understand the big picture of all God is doing when he allows bad things to happen, but I do know that God uses bad for our good. I know him better and I love him more than I would have if I had never lost Matthew. I wish it could have been different. I wish tomorrow was a celebration of 3 of my most favorite people. But I can truly say that Mathew was indeed, "A gift from God". </p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-5762154959007010382021-07-02T05:20:00.003-07:002021-07-02T05:29:13.110-07:00Day 3 & 4 & 5 & 6<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">Well this whole quarantine mess is for the birds! We all feel great so it has become super challenging to stay home. The days are boring and pretty much the same so I haven't felt the need to write much about it. The kids sleep in. They usually wakeup and go for a drive, just to get out of the house. Then they come home and try to be a bit productive. Then they have a pattern of scrolling their phone, watching TV, reading, playing volleyball in the backyard, "swimming" in our blow up pool on the deck, making something.......cakes......</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrOPZ4cV0gzSeqr__pJ0ppL1IZpqHfEkJZJDCeYm5_PuQBdxFFTvdvXC7uCvq3kAv_eCr5LAMAt_lopTRZ_xI8uc1bfOl_bKqsdTTahZIWoX3rZgniWyNL9iKmuFbSbivevjkDWcKKfsS/s2048/0EF4FFEE-3FB3-4B45-B44F-80D5ABBC6170.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrOPZ4cV0gzSeqr__pJ0ppL1IZpqHfEkJZJDCeYm5_PuQBdxFFTvdvXC7uCvq3kAv_eCr5LAMAt_lopTRZ_xI8uc1bfOl_bKqsdTTahZIWoX3rZgniWyNL9iKmuFbSbivevjkDWcKKfsS/s320/0EF4FFEE-3FB3-4B45-B44F-80D5ABBC6170.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>candles.......</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCLvhRpGIhjNE8OJtuJvLjjuv4zZbMmytzHmzy-RNwzkvQsJ19tqH2KMQV5iRo5oE8MtlpUQKmYFfcxdzX_c3VZ1pbKqs27T0GHdPBWdOAdJo7wjk1mzx8A2FTeLNGtSt4JkgEFlRPacrl/s2048/BC83ED65-0F9D-4133-8223-3093569562FF.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCLvhRpGIhjNE8OJtuJvLjjuv4zZbMmytzHmzy-RNwzkvQsJ19tqH2KMQV5iRo5oE8MtlpUQKmYFfcxdzX_c3VZ1pbKqs27T0GHdPBWdOAdJo7wjk1mzx8A2FTeLNGtSt4JkgEFlRPacrl/s320/BC83ED65-0F9D-4133-8223-3093569562FF.jpeg" /></a></p><p>we have a family dinner and usually take Audrey to practice her driving.......</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL8CDPHdklbDzHNBTjQlWm1GmaoxJJ5O17bPdOTj3Hjpe1K6pvbRdk0WIc4cyY7WSbmTv0mI8e-QZerUpRHS8Nq_7Y91j-6GNh0DlO83Ub2Bl1wR7MfkhKj1aTm23NLfY4oCedCim65yJ3/s2048/676F5EC8-1F77-4E9E-8A84-96E5F5F8F1C8.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL8CDPHdklbDzHNBTjQlWm1GmaoxJJ5O17bPdOTj3Hjpe1K6pvbRdk0WIc4cyY7WSbmTv0mI8e-QZerUpRHS8Nq_7Y91j-6GNh0DlO83Ub2Bl1wR7MfkhKj1aTm23NLfY4oCedCim65yJ3/s320/676F5EC8-1F77-4E9E-8A84-96E5F5F8F1C8.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Another cool thing is the kids.....mostly Jackson....have been writing a TV show with some friends. Jackson has spent hours on it! I have never seen him enjoy writing so much! I'm going to try to get some pictures of him in the coming days! </p><p>Its not bad at all.....it's just a lot of sameness.....</p><p><br /></p><p>I will say a few good things.....I'm trying to form a habit of walking as soon as I wake up each morning. I will make up any reason at all to not work out. I hate working out! I feel so good after though. So I'm waking up and heading outside to walk for 30 minutes and then getting on with my day. It's hard to make excuses when we have nothing going on and no where to be, so hopefully I can form the habit during this time and it will stick!</p><p>Another highlight of my morning is that I have come up with a coffee concoction that I'm thinking may meet my coffee needs. You see.....I like my coffee sweet and creamy and not high in calories. Its a problem. 1 T of French vanilla creamer has 35 calories......I like about 3 T.......it makes it sweet enough and the right color. But that is more calories then I want in 1 cup of coffee.......So today I tried 1T. of creamer with my coffee, plus 1 Splenda and 3 T. of 2%milk. It was the right color and sweetness! I feel a lot better about 43 calorie coffee than I did about 105 calorie coffee. Its not quiet a good, but definitely acceptable!</p><p><br /></p><p>Oh and in other news.....the blueberries are almost ready to pick! I'm trying to get them before the birds do!</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTya_LQ2i1KlDScnKvAALcd-HJfjM18gFWoS8UOTqR5aDqvO6pw2AMPNBud8DevPYV3sdMe8Kc9xc7PB15gqnkDPSDPsvAJdozdFCTeBpgizdMXUG0mmF6xs4zEnJ8IqfdWu1K34tfMQZy/s2048/68D73F21-2F45-45B1-8A81-9D6498015063.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTya_LQ2i1KlDScnKvAALcd-HJfjM18gFWoS8UOTqR5aDqvO6pw2AMPNBud8DevPYV3sdMe8Kc9xc7PB15gqnkDPSDPsvAJdozdFCTeBpgizdMXUG0mmF6xs4zEnJ8IqfdWu1K34tfMQZy/s320/68D73F21-2F45-45B1-8A81-9D6498015063.jpeg" /></a></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-28380434465925547732021-06-29T04:05:00.005-07:002021-06-29T05:15:37.688-07:00Day 2<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /> I slept in until 7:00 which was nice. I woke up and had coffee and chatted with Randy a bit. Looked some at our banking and then signed Audrey up for some high school homeschool classes. Planned out how to spend the day.<p></p><p>The kids started waking up and I checked them all for symptoms.....Sophia said she feels slightly congested. Nobody has a fever. Jackson slept super late and says he feels like he's getting sick. He does not sound good. I started my laundry. </p><p>I deep cleaned the living room. Cleaned everything....windows, cabinets, picture frames. It smells good.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5UF7F7soAz0dr7s4nwz4BX5I24iMxmrYIJboLKmdHqoHxHRQFWiqrchadEBJ5eifsrLjAKcGZimAK5KKvd-8V2r_JQwp7SxrVGR2-Hw4kPDiCXWtEi8fLFwljn4MhUb62-9IVV_kDoqna/s2048/E4DAAA83-909F-43D1-BD4F-971682AA0098.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5UF7F7soAz0dr7s4nwz4BX5I24iMxmrYIJboLKmdHqoHxHRQFWiqrchadEBJ5eifsrLjAKcGZimAK5KKvd-8V2r_JQwp7SxrVGR2-Hw4kPDiCXWtEi8fLFwljn4MhUb62-9IVV_kDoqna/s320/E4DAAA83-909F-43D1-BD4F-971682AA0098.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>I should probably clean more often. Texted friends. Worked on third grade supply list for next year. </p><p>Made nachos and corn dogs for lunch. Then I spent some time on the hammock reading Deadline. I took a very short nap and was awoken by a commotion on the back deck. The girls were vibing in the pool we set up on the back deck. They are so much fun! Sophia has on a face mask. Lydia repurposed my serving tray has a floating snack holder!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpWP2AWc9MYn9hVyYDJT0GDcZrjdqFErMUN8viSPRIjyP3l5ZhuRlKaq3J5qLd4mBxCDmwoA8CVXfhGhVXLSbCFUBxl2Kuh6jKTKYU1Eha3_HbM9hfcl_bF1yJ_SZPEzv5jAXRph3pJi2x/s2048/4B1FE6B6-C741-4BD4-B45E-0E53610109F2.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpWP2AWc9MYn9hVyYDJT0GDcZrjdqFErMUN8viSPRIjyP3l5ZhuRlKaq3J5qLd4mBxCDmwoA8CVXfhGhVXLSbCFUBxl2Kuh6jKTKYU1Eha3_HbM9hfcl_bF1yJ_SZPEzv5jAXRph3pJi2x/s320/4B1FE6B6-C741-4BD4-B45E-0E53610109F2.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>Then I deep cleaned our entryway and did a load of dishes. </p><p>Spent some time proof-reading Sophia's final paper for her Congressional Award!!!!! She's so close to done! Ordered my fourth book this week. Deep cleaned out dining room.</p><p>Then the health department called with lots of questions....answered some, not all. They were nice and informative. Andrew and I do not have to quarantine, because we are vaccinated. We can work and shop and run errands. </p><p>I talked to a couple friends and family members. Sophia decided to make homemade tortillas for dinner. YUMMY!</p><p><br /></p><p>Randy took Jackson and Audrey to practice driving and I watched Andrew, Sophia, and Lydia played a bit of volleyball. </p><p><br /></p><p>Then we ate ice cream and watched some TV and went to bed.</p><p><br /></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-34834399975939777052021-06-28T05:21:00.003-07:002021-06-29T04:10:57.314-07:00Day 1<p> I woke up early, around 4:20am, to the dog vomiting.....Nice. After that I was not able to go back to sleep so I cleaned that up and made coffee. I started the dishes that were not started last night and picked up stray cans that were littering the den. Then I sat down to begin this long neglected blog. </p><p>I ordered another book. Evidently quarantine has birthed a house full of readers.....Then I began to plan. It didn't take long.....planning for what we are not going to do. Planning for appointments to cancel and meals to make....</p><p>I decided to make blueberry lemon scones....and drink more coffee. Randy and I talked and scrolled our devices.....made exciting plans to save up for a new air conditioner for the downstairs.....we are hoping we have a year or two left on this one. </p><p>Then I got dressed for my big day at home. I chose my "jungle" shorts because they have a fun vacation vibe and threw on earrings and sunglasses to the top my head....it is looking a bit overcast. I made my bed and tidied up the downstairs and my bedroom. It's only 7:00......I think I'm going to read a bit.</p><p>I'm reading <u>Deadline </u> by Randy Alcorn. I like it.</p><p>The kids started waking up and we made some bacon and eggs to go with the scones. After breakfast we laid around a bunch and played on our phones, watched TV, and talked. </p><p>Then I made some tuna salad for lunch</p><p>I was exhausted and took a nap....</p><p>After naps we decided to homeschool Audrey in the fall too. Jackson was pulled out of virtual school in the winter to homeschool and it has been great! Since I work full time now homeschool will look very different than it did in our early years. But Randy can work from home now and we can hire out all the classes so we started looking at options. </p><p>I went for a COVID test. Just to be sure. I'm vaccinated, but wanted to be sure. My test was negative.</p><p>I let Audrey practice driving in a nearby neighborhood.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg92K1yl1omCXdzejcrXwqP_v0snLXkkBCySV8GQ43cwShlxtmJ-E0Br7JW23AVVBodu8NGZury-rZk4c603P8cCTHjiyC-Vk_Pl5p8kpgEnASs16fd0aKV4_9hDWt0XuBIU9IG3V8KjnLM/s2048/12E0E982-2848-4E5D-9531-698C699EC8BA.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg92K1yl1omCXdzejcrXwqP_v0snLXkkBCySV8GQ43cwShlxtmJ-E0Br7JW23AVVBodu8NGZury-rZk4c603P8cCTHjiyC-Vk_Pl5p8kpgEnASs16fd0aKV4_9hDWt0XuBIU9IG3V8KjnLM/s320/12E0E982-2848-4E5D-9531-698C699EC8BA.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>Then we went for a walk at the river behind our house. That was fun. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioPjyx4D3SIB3erwGqYboErge3yDZKFGivyQC_PiEhMMiFFNzjGWTmxyQmM2Rk3LsK0zEQX5JRmqlv1kwxbkiXLd1sD2ykrOo0laqv6cSeL8nzkURJMWyvDdHG8sGBJarYCsZSkX4bUt6j/s2048/AB0FC12F-2DD3-48C9-BD38-62C26E185CD2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioPjyx4D3SIB3erwGqYboErge3yDZKFGivyQC_PiEhMMiFFNzjGWTmxyQmM2Rk3LsK0zEQX5JRmqlv1kwxbkiXLd1sD2ykrOo0laqv6cSeL8nzkURJMWyvDdHG8sGBJarYCsZSkX4bUt6j/s320/AB0FC12F-2DD3-48C9-BD38-62C26E185CD2.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fvLxdm9agZA0lj0km8KbuXH_8nOr3pXn9wFaHWW4wiULG7hLRkT47rk-U7IXFNcAMWIw2lGL8aVSaoqqqjVa8kkMXzoJfybje3BAi-pXu7f44z2SAgUgbTSZq30JrJXyDFWDBhC6nnCq/s2048/AF3DC3ED-B842-46C0-B0B2-22B3F4D98D21.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fvLxdm9agZA0lj0km8KbuXH_8nOr3pXn9wFaHWW4wiULG7hLRkT47rk-U7IXFNcAMWIw2lGL8aVSaoqqqjVa8kkMXzoJfybje3BAi-pXu7f44z2SAgUgbTSZq30JrJXyDFWDBhC6nnCq/s320/AF3DC3ED-B842-46C0-B0B2-22B3F4D98D21.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAeQSSljbfDYMdC_n4CNg9uLcAMwxYzkiZCXrJsjJmmoxqESouNeqVbvsShvROTbvJa4jG70Qw0WachMxAKM-TYhKMebPude4hoMa9I5_8UprFaeG20yl1g5EsOsF4wwzo3lkcwzFQBvBZ/s2048/F3235D97-BC95-465C-8680-A0850DF1572D.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="27" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAeQSSljbfDYMdC_n4CNg9uLcAMwxYzkiZCXrJsjJmmoxqESouNeqVbvsShvROTbvJa4jG70Qw0WachMxAKM-TYhKMebPude4hoMa9I5_8UprFaeG20yl1g5EsOsF4wwzo3lkcwzFQBvBZ/w20-h27/F3235D97-BC95-465C-8680-A0850DF1572D.jpeg" width="20" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>We ordered Sushi for dinner and had a family movie night: Greenland.</p><p>Then it was bedtime. Day 1 was pretty good.</p><p><br /></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-18875689809444406542021-06-27T02:18:00.001-07:002021-06-28T05:24:53.734-07:00Day 0<p> Well we've had a goodish week. I've been working at the summer Read to Achieve camp at my school and running kids here and there and nursing broken hearts, and cleaning house, and planning for camp and vacations and dinner. I got to have dinner out with some girl friends and I ordered a new book we are going to read through together, I've gone shopping for camp. I've cheered at swim meets and sat around the pool trying to learn to parent better and how to not simply survive 4 teenagers. Kids have had sleepovers, worked VBS, been to the pool, played basketball, had friends over until all hours of the night, babysat, cut peoples grass, gone out to eat.....basically we've been all over Durham, with all of our favorite people.</p><p>Then.....we found out we were exposed to COVID.</p><p>We decided late Saturday to have the kids tested for COVID, because we learned that a couple of the kids had been exposed. So the kids, who were asymptomatic, were tested yesterday. Three kids were negative, one kid and I are vaccinated and asymptomatic and were not exposed, so we did not test. One child tested positive. </p><p>So begins our quarantine..</p><p>Once we found out yesterday, we notified everyone that child had been in direct contact with in the previous days. It was tearful and it was tough. We sat on the porch and spent a lot of time on the phone. We processed what this quarantine would mean for our family. We notified our church and our employers. We mourned the loss of our much anticipated summer camp. We brainstormed ideas of what we could do during quarantine. We analyzed each sniffle and each headache. We ordered another book. We prayed we would all be well for vacation and senior trip. We counted the blessing of having a beautiful spacious home and yard to quarantine in. We canceled appointments. A few angry insults were lobbed. Correction was offered. Hugs were given. Goodnights were said. Everyone retreated to their rooms and cocooned in, sad and sorry and wondering what our week would hold.</p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-74304874328780399532020-12-21T04:42:00.001-08:002020-12-21T04:57:42.396-08:00Audrey<p> Friday, December 18th was an exciting day at our house. It was the last day of school for the semester. I love last days of school as much as the kids do. Last days mean rest, they mean a break, they mean no alarms, they mean time with family. I was pumped! I went to school early. I only had a half day! My class had a "virtual class party" with hot cocoa, crafts, movie, game, and gifts. It was fun. I told the kids goodbye and how excited I was to see them in the new year. I have the BEST class this year. They are smart, kind, funny, and their parents rock! I AM excited to see them in the new year. I am ready for life to get back to normal and see them in the classroom too! </p><p>Anyway, I quickly finished up at school and headed home. I had a party to prepare for. One of my kids was having a handful of buddies over to hang out and I was helping prep for that and I was preparing for the big Stewart Christmas party that I was hosting on Saturday. It was a fun evening and Randy and I ended the evening with a house full of laughing teens and a fun game of Dutch Blitz with Audrey. After the house cleared out we did a quick partial cleanup, deciding to leave what we could to the morning. It was late and we were tired, so we all went to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a full and fun day. At least that was the plan.</p><p>Then early Saturday morning, it was 5:40 to be exact, we were roused by Audrey coming in our room crying. Her shoulder was out of socket. Unfortunately this happens to Audrey a lot. Several years ago she was playing flag football and dove for the ball landing hard on the shoulder and that caused it to pop out. Over the years it has happened more and more. Sometimes rough housing with friends, sometimes playing volleyball, and unfortunately sometimes just stretching her arm to reach for something. She's been to the doctor and she has gone to PT and it still keeps happening. Usually she can pop it back herself, but this time she couldn't. I was just becoming aware of what was going on and getting up to help her and she said something like, "I think I'm going to pass out". Then we heard a slam. It was loud.</p><p>It happened fast. Randy reached her first and found her flat on her face with her arms by her side. He rolled her over and she was crying. Her shoulder had popped back in when she fell. There was blood on her face. She was writhing in pain. I threw on clothes, grabbed my phone, a water, and my wallet and Randy carried her to the car and we went to the emergency room. We were there by 6:00.</p><p>They had us in a room by 6:05 and we had the best doctors, nurses, transport team. Literally every single person we had was wonderful. And my sweet, baby, girl Audrey is so brave and so sweet and so other centered. She is precious. The doctors immediately knew she would need facial sutures. They immediately knew she would need dental work. We still do not know the extent but we do know that several of her teeth are chipped and her teeth are not aligned. They also knew she would be referred to an orthopedic surgeon to figure out what to do about her shoulder. They said we can't have her shoulder continuing to come out of socket, even while she is sleeping. What they didn't know immediately was the extent of the damage done to her face, so they needed to do a CT scan. Her jaw and her ear were killing her. </p><p>Unfortunately, when she fell she fractured her jaw bone, in two places. She had fractured the mandible and the styloid process which is part of the temporal joint. It is like a little spike that goes down to the ear. That explained her ear and jaw pain. The good news was that there were no cranial injuries. Praise the Lord! They started her on some morphine and stitched her chin while we waited for the plastic surgeon to come down to consult. That is when Audrey started crying.</p><p>She had cried some from the injury, but this was crying from the fear and emotion of it all. We prayed and tried to rest and talked to Nanny and Pa and Daddy and brothers and sisters on facetime. Then we had more good news. There were fractures along the entire length of both bones, but neither bone had been "shortened" or "displaced". They were held perfectly in position. Thank you Lord for holding things together when life slams everything apart. Audrey will not need facial reconstruction! Thank you Lord! The bad news was she could not chew for 6 weeks. The surgeon was going to consult with some colleagues on whether or not to wire her mouth shut. Children are typically not wired and adults are. She is at the in between spot between kid and adult, so they were going to have to discuss.</p><p>Through all of this trauma Audrey kept charming the hospital staff. They loved her and she loved them. Audrey is such an other centered child. Barely able to move her mouth and in tremendous pain and fearful of what her day held she engaged the transport nurse about her job and her life. She complemented another nurse on her bandana. She had the doctors laughing as she joked about how of course she would be the one to fall flat on her face the first day of her Christmas break. She kept telling me how nice everyone was. </p><p>The surgeon came back with more good news. They were not going to wire her jaw shut, but we had to be very careful to follow the eating instructions. She assured us it would not be difficult for the first 3-4 weeks because she would not be able to move her jaw. She said it would be hard for the last couple weeks because she will feel better, be hungry, and feel like she can handle it. We were given a long list of follow up instructions and sent home and now is the time for the healing. It will take 6 weeks. She is very swollen, but surprisingly not bruised. I'm calling today to setup a dentist appointment, an orthodontic appointment, a follow-up with her pediatrician, an appointment to have her stitches removed, an appointment for plastic surgery follow-up, and an appointment for the orthopedic surgeon to consult on her shoulder. Not how we planned to spend our Christmas break, but God has been good to allow it to unfold this way. I'm off work. She's off school. We aren't getting behind on anything. We can just focus on getting Audrey well. I'm so thankful for that. </p><p>Its also been so sweet to see the outpouring of love and prayers and friendship. Audrey is so loved. She's been inundated with calls and messages from friends. She's been given sweet and thoughtful gifts. Smoothie gift cards, a gift card to her favorite place ever: Chick-fil-a, homemade hot chocolate bombs.....so much love and care it is really overwhelming. She has friends sending packages, T-shirts, cards, planning visits. She is so well cared for. It makes my heart happy to see how well she is loved. </p><p>I'm also blessed by her sweet attitude. Once in a while I'll look at her and she will be quietly crying. She is hurt. She is overwhelmed and disappointed at how she will be spending her break. She is sad we had to cancel the Stewart Christmas. However, she is not having a pity party. She is soaking in the love of others. She is constantly telling me she is ok and she doesn't want special treatment. She won't take up her Daddy's offer to let her have his spot in my bed. She just wants to be treated normal. She doesn't want all this focus, she said it makes her think about it and it hurts. She is starting to smile and laugh a little, which is very painful as it moved that jaw area, but it is also a glimpse of her. She is always smiling and laughing. So while we are trying to keep it to a minimum, we are so happy to see glimmers of our Audrey.</p><p>A couple other things that have been good on this journey is our medical team. We have the best pediatrician in the WORLD. Dr. Fisher went out of his way when he was not even on call, late at night to get Audrey the pain relief that she needed. I love him. Dr. Fisher was my doctor and Randy's100 years ago and has been my kids doctor for the last almost 23 years and he is amazing. He went above and beyond the call of duty.</p><p>And.... our orthodontist Dr. Smith. He has been amazing. He is supposed to be on break and he has given me his personal cell. He has told me to call or text and he will meet us as soon as she is able to open her mouth enough to be examined. He's tracked down her CT and looked at it. He has consulted with other collogues. He's given me advice on her oral hygiene care while she heals, He has encouraged her after seeing photos. She is very concerned about her teeth. She cares a lot about her teeth and has always taken very good care of them. She can tell they are messed up from the alignments and the chipping and that bothers her a lot. Dr. Smith is optimistic and this is helping to alleviate Audrey's fears. I think he is the best!</p><p>I wanted to chronical this to remember. I want to remember God's mercy and care even when he allows bad things. I wanted to remember how kind and loving strangers, doctors, friends, and family have been to us in our suffering. I wanted to remember my tough, sweet girl and how well she suffers. I wanted to let people know how they can pray.</p><p><br /></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-9847644807065810432020-02-08T11:56:00.002-08:002020-02-08T11:56:15.526-08:00The Most Defining Day of my LifeFebruary 10....what a date. No date has been as impactful a day in my life as February 10. Most people know my story, but for those that do not, February 10 was the day 19 years ago that my heart broke in two. It's one of those dates that marks time. Life before Matthew and life after Matthew. Randy and I were babies. We were just 25 years old. We were young and happy and Andrew was 2 years old and we were so excited about our second little boy. We had planned for him. We had celebrated him. We had painted the third bedroom blue, setup the crib, washed the baby clothes, written the thank notes. We were just waiting. Just a couple more weeks and our family of 3 would be a family of 4. <br />
You see my whole life all I wanted was to grow up, become an elementary school teacher, get married, and have a LOT of babies. Like a LOT. At least 5, but 7 might be better. Then one day I realized my baby wasn't kicking anymore. I was on bed rest, so I wasn't too busy to notice. I was focusing very closely, I was waiting for any movement......nothing. I called the doctor. My sister picked me up and took me to check. Randy was at work, and it was last minute. I assured him Stacy could take me. Whew, we heard the heartbeat. It sounded good. I was so relieved. The nurses reassured me that the baby would not move as much, because I was so close to term.......so I went home and waited, and waited, and waited. He still had not moved once that night. Not one time. I'd been pregnant before, I knew babies slowed down close to their due date, but Matthew was not moving.....at all. It was late, but Randy was scheduled to leave on a business trip the next morning. So we called the doctor on call. He told us to meet him at the hospital. We hurriedly packed a bag, deposited Andrew at Nanny's, and we headed to the hospital. They got us right back. They searched for a heartbeat.....they kept searching. They said sometimes heartbeats could be tricky to find. I realize now, the nurses probably knew at this point, because heartbeats are not tricky to find this late in the game. Nonetheless, I was blissfully ignorant. It had literally never crossed my sweet innocent mind that my baby could be dead. I thought maybe he was sick or in distress, but not once had I considered that he was dead. They ordered an ultrasound and we all immediately saw the baby. He was there! I saw him. But the nurse said his heart is not beating. What? The screen wasn't flashing. It was still. Not beating. Impossible. My next thought was HURRY! Get him out! Fix him! Save him! What was wrong with these people? Nobody was trying to save my baby. It was too late. He was already dead. That moment was a defining moment in my life. Innocence was lost. Life would never be the same.<br />
<br />
Then came the wailing. I did not even know I could cry so many tears. <br />
<br />
Then the questions. I had so many question....<br />
How will he get out of me?<br />
Labor.<br />
How will I go into labor if my baby is dead?<br />
You will still naturally go into labor, or we can induce labor now. <br />
Will it hurt like regular labor?<br />
Yes.<br />
Will it take as long as regular labor?<br />
It may take longer, because it's a little early and your body may need some coaxing.<br />
Can you just knock me out and do a C-section?<br />
No. It can cause problems with future pregnancies.<br />
What happened?<br />
We don't know. We may be able to find out after he is born.<br />
Will it happen to me again?<br />
We don't know it depends on what happened.<br />
Are you going to just throw him away?<br />
No. We will release his body to the funeral home.<br />
Will he be rotted?<br />
No.<br />
Will he look deformed?<br />
No, he will look like a baby.<br />
Can I see him?<br />
Yes<br />
Can I touch him?<br />
Yes<br />
Do I have too?<br />
No, but you should.<br />
<br />
Oh. My. Word. Why was this happening?<br />
<br />
They induced labor that night. It was very late on a Wednesday. I was admitted to the hospital. Then I labored all day Thursday and Friday and finally gave birth around lunch on Saturday, February 10. I was surrounded by happiness, and newborn baby cries, flowers, and balloons, and joy. I gave birth to death. It was quiet, except for my sobs. He was tiny, and perfect, and beautiful, and real, and dead. We named him Matthew. It means A Gift from God. I held him. Randy held him and our families held him. We wept. We prayed. I kissed him. I bathed him with my tears. I literally wondered if I would survive. The nurses took pictures of him and gave me a box of mementos. Which included a little outfit he had worn and footprints. Then a few hours later, they wheeled me to the door of the hospital I was fat and sore and empty and holding a little box. My arms ached for a baby. <br />
Its all a blur after that. The next day I sat at the circus. We'd bought tickets before all this happened and didn't want Andrew to be sad. So we sat through a circus and I remember thinking; These people have no idea my baby just died. Then a couple days later, I went to my babies funeral. There was this tiny white casket, and I kept thinking this is messed up. Caskets should not be so small. We sang, "It is Well with my Soul" and we went home.<br />
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Then began the slow and weird and lonely process of healing from a loss not quiet real enough for people to understand. I mourned deeper than I imagined for a child I never knew. How could I love someone I didn't know, so much?<br />
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Time brought answers. Matthew died from a knot in his umbilical cord. The doctors assured us that would never happen again. Time also brought more babies. We had Sophia, and having her was a balm for my wounded soul. God however revealed to me through my pregnancy with Sophia, that what the doctors said did not affect what happened. My pregnancy with Sophia was followed very closely by doctors. And nonetheless Sophia was born with a knot in her umbilical cord, and it was wrapped around her neck twice. God for whatever reason had willed for Matthew to die and for Sophia to live. I'll never understand the entirety of why.....but this I know. Both Matthew's death and Sophia's life were a part of God's plan for our family, and God calls all of his plans good. He measured it out, he weighed the cost, and he allowed for Matthew to die and for Sophia to live. The doctors were wrong. It did happen again and they were also wrong about the cord....the knot did not cause Matthew die....because God could have saved him. God allowed Matthew to die. That is not an easy pill to swallow. It hurts and it contrary to what I would desire.....but the alternate is life is random. God is not in control. Things just happen for no reason....and that I just can't believe. <br />
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So I was busy being a mom and very pregnant with twins. I thought I had learned the lessons of Matthew's life. I was enjoying being a mom. About a month before the twins were due, after a busy day of shopping, my feet were as big as tree trunks. Like literally humongous. Because of my pregnancy history and the fact I was having twins the doctors kept very close tabs on me. I checked my blood pressure at home. It was very high. The doctor wanted me to meet him at the hospital and pack a bag. It was late, on February 9. When I arrived they realized the babies needed to be born now. My blood pressure was too high they needed to do an emergency C-section right now. They prepped me for surgery and wheeled me back just after midnight. Jackson and Lydia were born healthy and screaming in the wee hours of February 10. I looked at Randy and said do you know what today is? <br />
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Friends, God is in the details. 5 years to the day after giving birth to Matthew in the very same hospital I gave birth to Jackson and Lydia. God took a date that was very difficult and sad and he in his goodness redeemed it. So now February 10 is not just a sad day. It is a day we can celebrate the goodness of God and the precious gifts of Jackson and Lydia. I agree with Job, "God gives, and God takes away. May the name of the Lord be praised."<br />
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I don't think I'll every be done learning the lessons of Matthew or motherhood, or heartache. But I can tell you this. Matthew's death was for my good. God has used it to sanctify me over and over and over again. I wish I had gotten to raise all 6 kids. I wish I was making him a cake and he was coming home from college to celebrate with us, but I'm glad God loves me enough to do what is best, even when it doesn't seem best. It's been 19 years. I could have raised that beautiful boy in the time its been since I held him in my arms. I miss him. I wish I had gotten to know him. I'm so thankful I can celebrate Jackson and Lydia this weekend. I'm so glad God has given my hearts desire; a husband, and a job teaching 2nd graders, and LOTS of children. I can't wait to see Matthew again in heaven and hear what it was like to grow up with Jesus. I can say in all honesty that Matthew lived up to his name. He has indeed been a gift from God. Happy Birthday in heaven.<br />
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<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-65327773690695883522019-12-03T03:05:00.000-08:002019-12-03T03:05:12.887-08:00UpdateIt's been so long since I've written. I've been pondering so much in my heart over the last months. The family is doing well. Super busy with school and basketball. I love basketball season! Sophia, Jackson, and Audrey are all playing this year so I'm in for lots of basketball fun! Randy is the assistant coach for Jackson's team at school and they are both enjoying that! <br />
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We had a nice Thanksgiving. It was so good to have Andrew home. I don't get to see him enough! Andrew is a senior at American and about to start his final semester. How did that happen? He is a finance major. He has been accepted to the graduate program at AU and is planning to pursue a degree in data analytics. I'm not too sure what that is, but people act like its a great degree. He will take some of the classes for his graduate degree this coming semester and plans to finish up next May. Then, he is planning to move to Australia. Yes, Australia! As some of you know he spent 6 weeks there this summer with Campus Outreach. For those of you that contributed to his trip, thank you. It would not have been possible without your generosity. I had sorta braced myself for him to come back and tell me he was going to go on staff with CO. I had not braced myself to hear what he did say. He did not plan to go on staff, he really wanted to pursue his Masters and then move across the world and work in his field and just be a faithful Christian and church member in Australia. He said only 5% of Australians are churched so it's likely that even fewer are believers. He joked that he spoke the language. So he plans to spend his life in Australia. Wow. He told me this back in August. He's researched immigration, which is not easy. My response was better then I expected. I said, "I can't think of a better way to spend your life." My heart however was reeling. I had plans to be an involved grandma and that was going to be a little difficult halfway across the world. But the Lord has gently reminded me of the prayers I prayed so often for little Andrew. I prayed he would love the Lord with his whole heart. I prayed he would spend his life on something that mattered. I prayed he would make good choices. God is faithful. He has answered my prayers. If I go too far down the road I get sad, because I am selfish, but God has given me grace for today. He could be chasing after the world and all it has to offer. He could be wasting his life. He's choosing to lay down his life in service to God. I have no greater joy.<br />
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Another thing that has been overwhelming my heart in these last months is my sweet Lydia. She got hit with a dodgeball during a game of blindfolded dodgeball. She was blindfolded and so was the sweet boy that threw the ball. She was hit very hard and at close range. It was obviously a total accident. She however lost consciousness and received a concussion, which has been so much more than we ever thought possible from a hit in the head with a dodgeball. She's had headaches. She's on prescription medications. She's been in physical therapy for her eyes and neck which were injured. Her blood pressure is out of wack. Her memory was affected. She had memorized 300 digits of pi for a contest in her class, and post concussion was unable to say 4 numbers in a row. Its been a long journey. The injury happened at the end of September. She is slowly getting better. However, her migraines have been getting worse. They were present prior to the concussion but they have been horrible since the concussion. They do not seem to be related to the concussion. She actually spent Sunday night/Monday morning in the ER getting intravenous meds to help with a debilitating migraine that had been going on for about 6 hours. It was her second on a week. Praise the Lord, they gave her an MRI, which had not been done since her injury and EVERYTHING looked perfect. This was a huge relief to me, because she has had so many head issues since her injury, I was starting to think something more serious may be going on. The ER did refer her to a neurologist, so I hope that we can get some answers and she can get some relief. Seeing her in so much pain and not being able to help her is so hard for me. I'm reminding myself that God is good. That God is allowing her to suffer this for some reason and praying it will be used to point her to Christ. <br />
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Anyway, I better run! I've got school today and I'm not ready yet!<br />
<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-3307023610282962142019-01-01T06:52:00.000-08:002019-01-01T06:52:58.754-08:00Happy New YearAnd just like that.....another year has ticked by and it;s time to turn to a fresh page. Just writing that sentence makes me want to buy a new calendar and pull out my rainbow fine tipped Sharpies and get busy planning my life! Hello 2019.<br />
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Last night the kids had a little party at the house. They each had a friend or two over and we had pizza, a chocolate fountain, toasted the New Year with Sparkling Cider and sprayed confetti in the Living Room. Those were the highlights. <br />
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There were so pretty low spots in the night too. Tears were shed. But being surrounded with friends made it bearable.<br />
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Such is life. Highs. Lows. Fun. Sorrow. Relationships<br />
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Each new year I can't help but think of how to make the coming year better. What to do....I mean I need to eat right, exercise, clean my house better, manage my money better, take more time for myself, study God's Word more, serve others more, care for extended family more, and read more and blog more and make more memories and disciple my kids better......and go more places and do more things......It's a bit overwhelming to be such a hot mess. Oh and as I glance around my cluttered bedroom I'm remind I definitely need a better laundry plan and should certainly pack rather then blog. I'm moving in 3 weeks people!<br />
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As I was talking to an acquaintance a couple weeks ago about how delicious the coffee creamer I was indulging in made the coffee I was drinking I said jokingly that I may make it my New Years resolution to drink coffee with creamer every afternoon. I joked that may be one I can keep. Except the more I think about it the more sure I am sure that I wouldn't keep that resolution either. I am absolutely sure I can't even manage to do something I love everyday. That is just how I am. I'm not lazy, well I sorta am, but I'm also sorta a boss at accomplishing tons each day.....its just not everything. It's just not everyday. I'm just a total work in progress.<br />
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So this years resolutions are a little more general. I want to exercise more then I did last year and lucky for me I set the bar low with very little exercise last year. I probably averaged once a month....so if I did once a week I'd be killing it, but even once every other week would be an improvement!<br />
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Last year I resolved to read more books, and I did read more, but not counting the Bible....<br />
I read:<br />
What was Mine<br />
Unoffendable<br />
12 Ways Your Smartphone is Changing You<br />
Women of the Word<br />
and am almost finished reading:<br />
Therefore I have Hope: 12 truths that comfort, sustain, and redeem in tragedy<br />
That is only almost 5 in a year.....so I can probably do better this year.<br />
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But really this year I don't even want to focus so much on what I'm doing, but rather who I'm becoming. I want to be a more mature woman of God. I want to KNOW God's word better. I want to be kinder and more patient with my family. For this to happen I'm going to have to be more sanctified and that will only happen by the washing of myself in His Word. So last year I just wanted to finish reading the whole Bible, but this year I want to really study books of the Bible. I want to memorize passages from the Bible. That is all that will change me. I'm too halfway. I'm too chill. I'm too sinful. I can't change on my own, but I can keep growing in the Lord and he can keep chipping away the rough edges. So the process continues.....<br />
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Happiest of New Years to all of you. I wish you all clean houses, great health, fabulous bodies, fat bank accounts, and dream vacations. But in reality I know this year may be filled with love, happiness, riches, joy, tragedy, heartache, poverty, or sorrow I have no idea, probably a sprinkling of it all. I do know that God is faithful. I do know that he loves me and has a beautiful plan for each of our lives. Let us walk in it.<br />
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<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-3837513451885111652018-12-24T04:10:00.003-08:002019-01-01T05:53:52.193-08:00Big News!I really am thankful I've blogged over the years. There are times, I've probably shared too much and displayed too much of our life to the world, but I honestly have thoroughly enjoyed being able to look back over the years. Things get busy with 5 kids and life zips by fast and I really don't have a great memory anyway, so this blog, this space I've shared our lives, our photos, and our stories of God's faithfulness has been a treasure to me.<br />
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It gets tricky as the kids get older. I'm excited and I want to share so much of what is happening in each of their lives, but I also want to honor their confidences and I don't want to share anything that would make others feel left out. I also don't want to come across as prideful or as having it all together. I will tell you now, I don't have it together at all. I don't mind sharing some of my struggles, but I'm very guarded in sharing my kids and others struggles. I don't think that is my stuff to share, so I do share the highlights for the most part. Trust me.....the people I live with don't have it together......and neither do I. I don't think they are perfect but I sure do love them and I know I'm not perfect either! So this blog is honest and its real and I do my best to make it unscripted, but its not everything. Its a snapshot.</div>
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My children LOVE to read my blog, when they are bored, especially Lyds and Audrey. They are constantly begging me to blog. So I am thinking that I may give it another whirl. I was telling Lydia, the problem was I really have nothing left to say.....she assured me that I did and encouraged me to blog.....for a record of our family history. So.....here it goes.<br />
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First I'll do a super quick intro because it has been so long......<br />
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Randy is still working for the City as a building inspector. He is not running right now due to a pretty persistent injury, but hopes to ease back into his routine in the new year. He is still a coffee loving Steelers' fanatic and excited about an opportunity he has to work with a specially selected group of individuals chosen by the city for their innovation to help solve problems. I'm really proud of him! Oh, and now he wears bifocals, so that is exciting!<br />
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I am home full time now, as working full time and caring for the kids and trying to help with my extended families needs was a strain on me. I am LOVING being home and being able to minister better to my people and to others. I still love ERA and may return there at a different season in my life, but I am happy to still be connected through the kids. ERA is a wonderful school filled with wonderful people, many of whom I consider dear friends. I spend my days doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, and driving.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2s8bQnTjfSKUwosNrwOA0m0XUfYS5ZB-nk10rlZ_2MeWnoLUZSKQidt60QvnxfQRWGwC0BrXtgrBPS7QOFI0_hRslT00WlCByaZlwcoOmoefNAbaJgDl-u8PtV3dG5EQuKIcUJZeep2J1/s1600/IMG_3526.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2s8bQnTjfSKUwosNrwOA0m0XUfYS5ZB-nk10rlZ_2MeWnoLUZSKQidt60QvnxfQRWGwC0BrXtgrBPS7QOFI0_hRslT00WlCByaZlwcoOmoefNAbaJgDl-u8PtV3dG5EQuKIcUJZeep2J1/s320/IMG_3526.JPG" width="320" /></a>Andrew is a junior in college. He is going to be 21 in a couple weeks which is CRAZY! I can honestly say 3 John 1:4 is TRUTH. "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth." Andrew is making major life decisions in the coming weeks. Decisions that could take him far from home for extended times, decisions about life and career and I can honestly say I am totally at peace. He loves the Lord and he is seeking his will and consulting wise counsel and that brings me such peace and such joy and such assurance. I am excited that I get a front row seat to his life!<br />
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Sophia is a 15 year old sophomore in high school. She is an excellent student. She has her permit! She is swimming for her schools swim team and is spending her free time working very hard on a Congressional Award. She is a life guard at Duke and a social butterfly.<br />
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Jackson is 12....almost 13. He is in seventh grade. He is really enjoying playing basketball for his school and spends most of his free time shooting hoops and eating cereal. He has matured so much this last year! It is very fun to see! One of my favorite things about him is how he is not self conscious. He is who he is and he is not one bit ashamed. I love that and hope it never changes! He's enjoying having Andrew home for Christmas and I love hearing Jackson parrot Andrew, "Is it luck or is it God's providence?"<br />
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Lydia is also 12.....and almost 13. She too is in seventh grade and playing basketball for the school. She is not shy, but she is the quietest Stewart. She is also the only Stewart that will have a room to themselves in the new house (more on that later). She really enjoys creating a beautiful space. She makes our dinner table beautiful. She keeps her room beautiful. She adds little touches to life that just make things special. Even her penmanship is beautiful!<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">Audrey is 11. She is in the sixth grade. She is an absolute hoot. She has such a quick wit and is hilarious. She still loves blankets, dogs, and anything soft. She is in a singing group at school.....at least I guess that is what you would call it.....maybe they are a comedy troupe.....I'm really not sure. They call themselves The Ugly Ducklings. It is made up of Audrey and 2 of her very cute friends. They do concerts during recess. They have quite the following. It is actually too funny! They are on I</span>nstagram<span style="text-align: center;">, have recently been sponsored by a fellow classmate, and enjoy signing autographs.</span><br />
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Mindy is our almost 11 year old golden. She has arthritis and is really slowing down. She is as sweet as can be. She likes to eat, take naps on the sofa, sit in the sun, and be rubbed.<br />
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Duke is our cousin dog. We have been dog sitting him since September and he will return home in January. He is a huge and energetic 2 year old Bernese Mountain Dog and Poodle mix. Duke likes to eat socks, chase rabbits, bark at delivery people, and wrestle. The kids love him and are very sad he is leaving. . I think Mindy will miss him too.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicyJcOr0b-FRKiv6DMpsD6IeSV16f74Tn7iemEnhbIXv-i05H2Tb3BcXz-bLEF9SR1NdbjZ04e4-53MAcBTUC-LNyIGNqcb3AWuRBnRsdJeIDKPuio1m4crDrD2AvFw92CtZG1Jo9Lr5rV/s1600/IMG_2763.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicyJcOr0b-FRKiv6DMpsD6IeSV16f74Tn7iemEnhbIXv-i05H2Tb3BcXz-bLEF9SR1NdbjZ04e4-53MAcBTUC-LNyIGNqcb3AWuRBnRsdJeIDKPuio1m4crDrD2AvFw92CtZG1Jo9Lr5rV/s320/IMG_2763.HEIC" width="240" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJnSfZhfC-2323qF8Khkv9ZUtyj3QDcolHiJx_xyF-j_lf6UBhpQpwlxFOgGRfHtm6MHN6J7BAE6N04M3b4PA67RclxzahU4QaHCBjtf5GN5BYEbCeve7roEDKZ3JwPZ89WtmRINuM2_s3/s1600/IMG_3709.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJnSfZhfC-2323qF8Khkv9ZUtyj3QDcolHiJx_xyF-j_lf6UBhpQpwlxFOgGRfHtm6MHN6J7BAE6N04M3b4PA67RclxzahU4QaHCBjtf5GN5BYEbCeve7roEDKZ3JwPZ89WtmRINuM2_s3/s320/IMG_3709.JPG" width="240" /></a>Randy and I have been wanting to move to Hillsborough. I spend a lot of time driving back and forth to school and it seems so much of our life is in Hillsborough now. So we started looking and thought we had found our dream home. It was a short sale and seemed too good to be true. We spent several weeks chasing that dream, but in the end decided to move across the street to a smaller home on a smaller lot that cost more money but was move in ready. We put the house under contract on Saturday. Our house is already sold and we are planning to move by the end of January. So if I do decided to resurrect this blog....it will mostly be about moving in the coming days!<br />
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We have moved a lot in our years of marriage. When Randy and I first married we lived in a cute yellow house in Wilmington, NC. A few years later we moved to Oxford, NC and lived in an old farm house on a piece of property that the Stewart's owned while we built our first house in Durham. About every two years we would build and move, one of the joys of being married to a builder. Moving was a great way to make money....Neff Street, Lipscomb Drive, Callahan Circle, Garcia Drive, Old Buggy Trail, Bivins, and then Fox Run Court. When we got to Fox Run Court we had 5 kids under 10 and I was exhausted and we stayed put, for about 10 years. Then 2 years ago we built a home right next door and that is the home we currently live in. We thought we may stay in this house forever.....but it was just a couple years. This will be house #11 in our 22.4 years of marriage!<br />
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I am spending an average of 2 hours going to and from school each day. It is only 20 minutes away, but 3 round trips....drop off, pick up, sports pick up.....adds up quickly. If one of the kids forgets something, or has an appointment, or there is an after school performance, it can quickly turn into 4 trips.......So we are going to cut the commute down to a 90 second commute and I am thrilled!<br />
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So as Christmas kicks into full gear I am trying to focus on the festivities and the joy and the food and the family, but to be honest I am also making lists.....of everything that needs to be done between now and January 22!<br />
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-61639851954700676592018-10-16T04:11:00.002-07:002018-10-16T04:36:44.250-07:00FallingFall Break turned out to be a much longer break than I anticipated! In fact, mine started last Tuesday. The kids returned home from our church youth retreat the Sunday before and were filled with stories and overflowing with excitement, but they were also fairly exhausted. So when I heard Audrey had fallen asleep at the end of the day IN CLASS, I attributed it to exhaustion. However, she woke the next morning with headache, stomach ache, fever and so I ended up being home with her Tuesday and Wednesday. She rested and I spent much of the day catching up on household chores and decorating for fall. I used to always decorate at the change of seasons, but had kind of quit over the last few years, but being home unexpectedly and with Audrey's persistent encouragement I made the trek to the attic and actually really enjoyed decorating. We even lit candles! I love being home.<br />
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Audrey started to feel better on Wednesday and we probably would have made it back to school, but school ended up being canceled for the impending Hurricane Michael on Thursday. So we were all home and Thursday, we did NOTHING except sit around and talk and eat and watch TV and chill and nap and it was a fantastic day. Friday, would have probably been a 2 hour delay, but since our fall break was slated to start on Friday and we were only scheduled to have a half day, school was canceled on Friday as well! Friday was a fun day! I took the kids to breakfast at Grub. We ate on the rooftop. It was great. Then we ran to get Lydia a prop for her halloween costume. Sophia was anxious to take some pictures on her new camera, so we walked around downtown and took pics of Lydia and Audrey. Jackson had all the fun he could handle so he pleaded to be dropped off at home first. We had to get home because I had a doctor appointment. It was a pretty low key day. I enjoyed being outside with the kids, just enjoying them. We got home and I fixed dinner and we had a nice quiet evening.<br />
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Saturday we slept in a bit and then I ran Sophia over to the Caring Center at church where she is volunteering. While she was there I made a quick trip to Costco and washed my van and cleaned it out. After I unloaded the car and finished cleaning, I went to pick Sophia up and dropped her off at home to grab some lunch and a shower. While she did that I gassed up the van and vacuumed it out at the car wash. Then I picked Sophia up and we headed to the Starbucks in Wake Forest. Sophia was meeting with a friend of mine in Wake Forest that is advising her as she works towards a Congressional Award. While they met I sat outside and enjoyed an iced latte and my current book.<br />
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SIDENOTE: I'm currently reading a book by a guy named Cameron Cole. It's called Therefore I Have Hope: 12 Truths that Comfort, Sustain, & Redeem, in Tragedy. I'm only on Chapter 3, but I like it and I wish I had read it before Matthew died.<br />
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ANOTHER SIDENOTE: While I was sitting there reading I was also inadvertently eavesdropping on the 2 people next to me. As the guy shared about his search for a church, I continued to think he would LOVE our church. As I sat in Wake Forest listening to this 20 something seeking church in Durham....I felt compelled to tell him about mine. I think I must be officially old. I butted into their conversation and admitted I had been eavesdropping and proceeded to encourage him to checkout FBC. I NEVER would have done that even a couple years ago!<br />
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After Sophia finished her meeting we raced back to Durham and on the way back I got to talk to ANDREW!<br />
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LAST SIDENOTE: I MISS ANDREW SO MUCH! I have not seen him since he left for school in mid August and I still have to wait another month to see him! I love to hear from him though. He had a one day fall break and was able to spend it in the beautiful Shenandoah National Park with his Campus Outreach Group, so I know he had a great time. He is a Junior at American and studying finance. He is doing very well in his classes this semester and really enjoying his studies. He is in leadership with Campus Outreach and he loves the Lord and this brings such joy to me. I truly love to see him walk with the Lord. I am so thankful that he is not wasting his college years. I LOVE that he spends time in the word, and that he meets with other guys to study God's word, and that he witnesses to the lost and disciples and is discipled. I love that he goes to church. I love that he is in small group with people of various ages and stages of life. I was not doing that at his age and I am so thankful for the work of God in his life! It is so encouraging to me. I just want him to come home, so I can see him! He is currently working for Door Dash a food delivery company and he really likes it because he creates his own schedule and that gives him flexibility with his school, church, Campus Outreach, etc. He also plays lots of cards. He plays poker, and bridge, and spades.....lots of cards and movies. He loves movies.<br />
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ANYWAY.......As soon as we got back to Durham, Randy, Sophia, her friend, and Jackson headed to Lynchburg. They spent the rest of the day at SCAREMARE. They loved it and Randy wants us to all go next year! They all agreed that it is legitimately scary. Randy's only suggestion is that at the end of the house they have a sheep and goat exit. Randy! While they were at SCAREMARE, Lydia had a couple of her friends over for dinner and ice cream and Audrey had her cousin over for a sleepover.<br />
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Sunday we went to church, grabbed lunch, I cooked for Home Fellowship, and I read and talked with the girls about the BOYS chapter in our Girl Talk book. Then we headed to Home Fellowship. I love Home Fellowship and this semester we are working through the book of Philippians, which I also love. Home Fellowship ended with Jackson having an impromptu sleepover. It was short but sweet. The girls and I headed home and watched Switched at Birth while Randy headed to bed early, still exhausted from his day trip to Lynchburg.<br />
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Monday and Tuesday were our actual planned fall break days. Monday Jackson had an early morning dentist appointment and then he and I ran a couple errands. He needed pants that fit. I also treated him to breakfast at Chick fil a. It was free! He got a biscuit, hash brown, and lemonade all for free! I enjoyed my morning with Jackson. He is growing into such a kind and thoughtful guy. I sure am proud of him. He was anxious to get home and get outside, so I took him home and picked up Audrey and Lydia. They were both in desperate need of pants that fit. They have grown a ton since last year! So I took them to get jeans and leggings. Our trip to Kohl's proved successful! Then we headed home to get ready for Sophia's volleyball game. The game was in Cary and they played a very evenly matched team. They were able to pull out a victory winning 3 out of 4 sets. This team has been such a sweet blessing. The coaches and the girls....it has been a fun and drama free year and my girls are all super sad that today is their last game! Most of the team was able to go to dinner at Chick-fil-a last night to celebrate the victory! It was fun!<br />
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Today is our last official day of fall break! I woke up a little sad. I think I'm mourning a little over volleyball ending. It has been such a sweet and fun season. I think I'm a little sad over a relationship that is painful and I'm not sure how or if to pursue, because it hurts. I like to fix, but sometimes I think maybe I don't need to fix things. Sometimes things break for a reason.<br />
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OKAY REALLY THE LAST SIDENOTE: I read this quote yesterday and could really identify with it, "I have a happy personality with a heavy soul. Sometimes it gets weird." Cracks me up!<br />
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And I think I'm a little sad, because I don't think I invest enough in things of eternal value into my kids. I think I get swept up in the dailiness of life and I'm not sure how to do it better and more on purpose with so much that needs to be done. So today's plan is that we are going to spend it cleaning up the mess we have made! I see a day filled with laundry! We are going to get ready for our week ahead. However, we do have one last volleyball game to look forward to tonight. It's Charlotte's senior night too, so that will be fun! I'm looking forward to celebrating that sweet girl. Dinner tonight will be leftovers and alarms will be set. I do want to do the Girl Talk chapter on Modesty with the girls today too. School starts early tomorrow. We have 2 days and then we are cutting out Friday and heading to the fair! We plan to spend the morning as a family at the fair and then to let the kids spend the evening running around with friends. It's been a good break. It's been nice and rejuvenating. I'm looking forward to seeing my work friends and the sweet kids at school. I'm thankful for such a great place to work, where my kids are learning so much and enjoying such sweet people and have such amazing teachers.<br />
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I am blessed.<br />
<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-9262466540608628262018-05-30T11:11:00.000-07:002018-05-30T11:34:12.230-07:00The Stingray StorySunday morning was beautiful. The sun was shining the air was warm and we were at the beach with our family. The Winn kids had come with us and we were looking forward to meeting up with the Aucoin’s and Taylor’s later that day. We went out to the beach around 9:00 and we had spent hours in the ocean. We had probably gone through 2 bottles of sunscreen. We had just finished lunch. We were expecting the Aucoin’s and Jackson W. at any minute. Sophia, Aubrey, Audrey, and Jackson S. had just walked back to the beach house and were coming right back. Lydia and Braden had just run back out to the ocean. I had settled into a beach chair and Randy and Micah were walking out to join Lydia and Braden in the waves....the next thing I knew they were walking back. Randy was carrying Lydia. I thought they were so cute. Then something of panic flashed on Micah’s face. Something was wrong. As they walked closer I heard this terrible scream coming from Lydia. My soft spoken little girl was screaming. She was wild with pain. I panicked. I couldn’t think. We had assumed it was a jellyfish. Then we looked at it. There was a jagged hole and blood. Randy said that is not a jellyfish. I told Randy to run back home and to get a car. Hurry! Micah and Randy took off. It was Braden and I alone. Lydia screaming. Call 911 flashed in my head. I scrambled for my phone. A crowd of people were gathering. Mama’s were shooing children out of the ocean. A lady walked over she offered help. She gave us ice. She <span style="background-color: yellow;">placed</span> her hands on Lydia and started to pray. Her husband helped me give the 911 dispatcher directions to where we were. Lydia was screaming. Then I saw the Aucoin’s. I asked Amanda to watch the kids. Randy was back, Brent had taken him to get a car. There was the lifeguard. His radio was alerting him to a beach emergency, 12 year old female....and he was already there. The EMT came. They said something about barb in her foot. Stingray. Venom. They couldn’t do anything for the pain. She was still screaming. She was begging them to help her. She was scared. A truck came they put Lydia in and I jumped in and they drove us to the road where an ambulance was waiting. We were whisked to the nearest hospital a half hour away in Morehead City. On the way I started to cry. It was so sad to see Lydia in so much pain. I just lost it, which made Lydia even more upset. So I quickly composed myself and did my best to comfort her. Lydia was overwhelmed with the pain from the venom. Heat brought her only comfort and it didn’t bring much, but did seem to take the edge off. She said it throbbed and it just hurt so bad. She cried and pleaded with the EMT to please give her something.....ibuprofen....anything. They told her there was nothing that would take the pain away. Heat was the best they could offer! Slowly over the next hour and a half the pain eased. Within 2 hours she was like a different person. It was amazing the transformation. So they did an X-ray and were all very happy to learn the sting ray had not left behind any fragments and they prescribed an antibiotic to preventninfection and gave us information on caring for a puncture wound and sent us on our way. We were back to the beach in time to greet the Taylor’s. Lydia was bandaged and in socks but doing amazingly well.<br />
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As I reflected in the adventure which began just before noon and concluded around 3:00....I marveled at God’s hand. He could not have orchestrated things better. Randy was right there when Lydia was stung so he was immediately able to assist her. Braden did not get stung. He was right beside Lydia, but his Mama was in Durham. That would have been a nightmare! God had us setup camp right beside a Christian. She came and offered help and ice but brought comfort and peace. Lydia kept talking about that lady with the warm hands and how much it helped her to have her praying and placing her hands on her. Randy and I were at the beach with 7 kids. Amanda and Brent arrived at exactly the right moment. They took over all the supervision. They drove Randy to get his car. It could not have worked out better. The lifeguard just “happened” to be right beside us as he got the call about Lydia. He was already there! The EMT was there right after the lifeguard arrived. They were able to remove the barb in the beach. It was crazy timing. When we got to the hospital she was put right in a room. She was taken directly to X-ray. There were no complications. She was in and out and okay!<br />
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Interestingly, Lydia had shared with some of the kids the night before that one of her biggest fears was being bitten or stung by something in the ocean. I was telling her how brave I think she is. Christ allowed this to happen and I marvel at how he went before her and am humbled by the great love he showed in his abundant provision for her in the midst of a tramatic situation. God is good and now she has a great story to share!Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-46769433034598987182018-05-12T14:16:00.002-07:002018-05-12T14:30:21.892-07:00Teacher AppreciationThis week I have been OVERWHELMED with the love and gifts and sweet words showered on me during teacher appreciation week. I have been simply overwhelmed with the generosity of the parents and kids at ERA. My mind however keeps going back to my friends. So many sweet Mama friends that are daily pouring out their lives in an attempt to not only raise their children well, but also to educate them well. I remember well my homeschooling years. I remember the sacrifice. I remember the dailiness. I remember the wondering and worrying if this was the biggest mistake of my life and I definitely remember thinking, "What about me?" during teacher appreciation week. Does anyone know what I'm doing? Does it matter? Does anyone care? Can anyone understand? I remember longing for just one teacher workday. I remember wishing I could get a pay check for the sacrifice and work I was putting in, and I think that is part of what made it so overwhelming. I remember longing for the school bus to please, just this once stop at my house. I longed for an acknowledgement of the work I was doing. I was hungry for just a bit of validation. I wanted to hear that I was doing a good job, I wanted to know that I was making a difference. So my heart wants you sweet Mama's to know. You are my people. You are my best friends. You are my soul sisters. What you are doing matters! Your kids are awesome! You are doing such a good job! I mean this sincerely. You ladies are in the trenches daily. I know a bunch of kids and some of my all time favorites are yours. Keep going. Keep putting in the hours. Keep slogging through the math books. I appreciate you ladies more then you know and am amazed at you! I think you are fabulous!<br />
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So if you want some chocolate....stop by my house.....I have a truck load. I'm keeping the gift cards! I will share the apple knickknacks and home baked treasures.....and I'll even share some flowers. First come first serve! But friends mostly remember you are laying up treasure. Your good works that are not seen by others are seen by our heavenly Father and not one of them will go unrewarded. Not one. Keep doing the good work to which He has called you. You are doing a work with eternal value. Yeah...some homeschoolers give the rest a bad name.....you are not those. You sweet friends are rocking it. You are awesome and I love you and I hope you know one day your kids will appreciate you. My 20 year old son that was mostly homeschooled, says now how thankful he is for that season and how he felt like it was for his best.....so even though I'm in a different chapter of life now and I have a different calling that I love and am thrilled with....I don't regret the years I put in.....and you won't either. I hope your families celebrate you all BIG TIME tomorrow, you deserve it!<br />
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<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-6913032282786928412018-04-01T20:07:00.000-07:002018-04-01T20:20:03.546-07:00My TattooSo if you have not heard.....I got a tattoo.<br />
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So far I've been asked 2 questions....<br />
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1. Did it hurt?<br />
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Yes.<br />
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2. What's the deal with Brave <3?<br />
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I can't really answer that question very succinctly in the church foyer or over Easter lunch, but I'm so glad people ask and I don't mind sharing. I'm much better at articulating my thoughts in writing than I am at expressing myself with the spoken word....so here is the story behind the Brave <3 tattoo.<br />
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A couple years ago I realized that a lot of my sentences began with the words, "I'm afraid....." followed by varies fears that ranged from fear of hurting someone's feelings to fear of catastrophe and pretty much everything in between. I begin to actively examine why I was so afraid. I realized my first memory of real fear....besides watching the Wizard of Oz and seeing the Wicked Witch and her crazy monkeys......was when I was about 11 years old. My family received a terrifying phone call. My little cousin, my beautiful, sweet 8 year old cousin was kidnapped. I'm not going into the details, because it is not my story to share, but I will say it was terrifying. She was kidnapped by a stranger when she got off the school bus. After that happened I was very afraid to go outside. I was afraid to ride the school bus. I was afraid of being kidnapped. What was a very unlikely event, in my mind became a very real possibility. My cousin did live but what happened that day changed a lot of lives even a 12 year old girls. I knew fear. I knew monsters were real. I never really felt safe outside again, especially alone. Ever.<br />
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Then when I was in college fear came again. Without going into much detail I will just say that a very close relative was violently attacked by 4 men in the wee hours of the morning while she was doing a newspaper delivery for a friend of hers that was out of town. I got a phone call that woke me from a dead sleep. I lived in an apartment with this person during college and she was crying and telling me where she was and I was confused and scared. The men were arrested. They were tried and put in jail. However, I again realized how unsafe the world was. It was very unsafe. Disaster seemed to lurk around every corner.<br />
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About this time I became obsessed with crime TV. Forensic Files, Law and Order, 48 Hours and anything like it. I never knew why I was so intrigued with these shows but I watched them regularly at bedtime. Which is creepy....and I knew it was creepy....but I was really drawn to these shows for some reason. Years later my counselor told me she suspected I watched these shows in an effort to be prepared. I had been surprised by some bad and terrifying things in life and if I watched these shows enough and mentally covered all the possibilities I would be ready when tragedy came calling....I wouldn't be surprised.......except I wasn't....<br />
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When I was 25 and a young mother to Andrew, who was 3 and expecting Matthew...he died.....inside me....right before he was born. He was a fully formed baby. He had fingers, toes, hair......I had no idea that could happen. I was so unprepared. I wanted him. If a baby could die inside a healthy, young, white, American, middle class woman....was the world safe at all.....He died from a "random" knot in his umbilical cord. A few years after Matthew died.....Sophia was born. The doctors promised Sophia would not have a knot in her cord. That it was a random tragedy that happened with Matthew. Well Sophia did have a knot in her umbilical cord and she also had it wrapped around her neck twice. The doctor was wrong. God was in control. Not doctors. God allowed Matthew to die and Sophia to live. It was not random. What kind of God was this? My trust was growing but this God was terrifying. He was so unpredictable.<br />
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Every pregnancy was wracked with fear. Yet God protected the twins and they were born 5 years after Matthew died on exactly the same day, February 10. God was in control and not only that but he was in the details....and he loved me. He took a day that meant nothing to the world but everything to my broken heart and he redeemed it. This scary God was loving.<br />
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Then Audrey was born 6 weeks early with a fever. She was sick, very sick. I will never forget the absolute shock that came over me when the doctor came in shortly after she was born and informed us that they needed to do a spinal tap on our baby and see why she had a fever. They suspected it was because the doctor forgot to give antibiotics to me during the delivery and I was a Group B strep carrier. So I had passed that on to my tiny 6 week early baby girl. No Lord. Not her. Don't take my baby. I knew he could and he did allow babies to die. I was scared. But God did not take her. He let her live. In fact her birthday is in a few short hours! God is good.<br />
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And then my brother went off to the war in Iraq. Your baby brother in a war will do a number on you. Then one day my Dad called and told me Matt had been in an accident. His vehicle had run over an IED. He was being flown to Germany. He was alive but injured. It's all kinda a blur but healed and came home for a little while and won a purple heart and awards for valor.....and then he went back to finish his tour. I couldn't believe he went back. He was home. He was safe. He didn't have to go back. He went back. That is the kind of guy he is. He finished his tour. I was so proud of him and I was so scared. However, he came home. God protected his life.<br />
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By now I was fully immersed in the busyness of motherhood. I was busy and afraid. Afraid kidnappers lurked outside my house and regularly cruised our cul de sac. Afraid of my kids being hurt. Afraid they would die. When Andrew was diagnosed with Premature Ventricular Contractions that originated in an unusual part of his heart I was petrified. It could be something he outgrew or it could be something that may cause issues and require treatment. We could only watch and only wait and see. Talk about terror. I knew the world was not safe. I just had to wait. Those crazy heartbeats that happened every 3 beats when he was a 4 year old child disappeared when he was about 15 as quickly and randomly as they appeared. My fear changed nothing but robbed me of a lot of sleep and peace. God was in control. I was not.<br />
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Yet God persisted in showing me how little control I had. Randy was a project manager for a builder when the market crashed. He lost his job. It was an unsettling time. I was a stay at home mom with 5 young children. My husband did not have a job and was looking for a job and the building market had just entered into the deepest recession since the Great Depression. Nobody was hiring builders or project managers....nobody. It was 7 long months of unemployment. But God used that time to teach me he was in control and he loved me. He would provide for us in that time through the generosity of others in the most unusual and creative ways. We were given bags of clothes regularly. We were given gift cards and groceries and money. We even won a shopping spree at a shoe store when our kids needed shoes. Our neighbors even gave us a car during this time. God did not abandon us. God did not forget us. He provided for us lavishly. God grew my faith and trust in him as I realized I could do nothing but rest in him. I could not fix this. Yet he could be trusted.<br />
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Through all of this God has wooed me and taught me that I can trust him. So the Brave is not because I am brave but it is just a reminder that I can be brave. I don't have to be afraid. I KNOW now that God does allow tragedy and sorrow and bad stuff but I KNOW he only allows it if he names it good and to bring himself glory. So I can trust him. The heart is to remind me that he loves me. He has been faithful. He has not kept everything safe and secure but he has been there every single step of the way. Everything he does he does out of his great love for me. So no, I don't really have a brave heart but I'm learning to not be afraid. I'm learning to trust a loving God and to let go of living in fear. I'm learning to speak the truth and not be afraid of having a thought or an opinion or a belief.<br />
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So.....I started thinking about this tattoo a loooonnng time ago. I told myself I didn't need to get a tattoo. This could all be true without a tattoo. So I debated whether or not to get it. I did not want to aid in the delinquency of youth. Sophia was so excited about me getting a tattoo she thought that meant as soon as she turned 18 she could get one. I guess she can. I hope she won't. I did that too. Got a tattoo when I was 18....and I hate it. So kids....take it from me....wait......wait longer then you want. You can always get a tattoo...... I told Sophia she could get one when she is 43! I put a lot of thought into this tattoo and asked Randy if he cared. He was fine with it. I love my tattoo I love the visual reminder. When I look down, which I do when I'm feeling insecure I see it. It is a reminder of who He is and what He has done and it reminds me to speak and to share Him with others. I can be brave because he can be trusted.<br />
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That is why I insisted on the tattoo facing me. The tattoo artist said it was considered backwards. I told him the tattoo was for me, not for others, so I needed to be able to read it.<br />
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However, having some random word on my foot seemed a bit weird....but then I thought how cool it would be if it was in my Mama's handwriting. Then I could still have her handwriting with me when I didn't have her. When I had that idea I really got excited about having the tattoo. You see my Mama is brave too. So Mama wrote Brave and drew a heart and the tattoo artist made a stencil from it and then traced it onto my foot.<br />
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So that it what my tattoo is about!<br />
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Thanks for asking!<br />
<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-62231164532578671342018-02-17T08:43:00.000-08:002018-02-17T18:00:34.476-08:00Saturday Ramblings.....So I haven't written a rambling post in a while and one of my goals for the new year is to get back to blogging, so today I'm going to ramble.<br />
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I'll start by saying it feels so good to have everyone feeling well! I've had some sick kiddos and honestly have not been feeling too well myself. So hallelujah we are all well!!!<br />
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This morning dawned early.....well early-ish....It wasn't workweek early, which is 5:15, but it was Saturday early, which is 7:00. Lydia had to be out the door headed to Greensboro by 7:30. She and her friend Elenore are part of the team representing Eno River Academy in the Science Olympiad. They are the, "Road Scholars". So they have put many hours of study and training into preparing for todays competition and I'm hoping that they have a great time and do their best at the competition today! Randy and Ellie's dad accompanied the girls! I can't wait to hear about how it goes!<br />
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Sophia also had to be out relatively early....8:00....to get to DRIVER'S ED!!?!?!! Class didn't start until 9:00, but I wanted to check out a bakery.....so we left at 8:00.<br />
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Durham has a lot of bakeries.....and I've only been to a few....so I made a list of ones I need to check out or check out again....I included a few in Hillsborough too since that is my new home away from home.....<br />
If you guys know of any I need to add to my list please let me know!<br />
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<b><u>Here is my list:</u></b><br />
The French Corner Bakery<br />
Ninth Street Bakery (have not been here but have had a lot of their products.....yummmm!)<br />
Scratch<br />
Guglhupf (been here)<br />
Loaf<br />
Mad Hatter Cafe (been here)<br />
Rise (been here)<br />
Rose's Meat and Sweet Shop<br />
All Day Cafe<br />
Cup-A-Joe (been here)<br />
Weaver Street (been here)<br />
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Today Sophia, Audrey, and I went to Loaf. Jackson was still asleep, but I did bring home a little coffee cake for him to try.<br />
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Sophia got some fancy french named pastry that I can't pronounce and Maple View Farm chocolate milk. That girl LOVES their chocolate milk. She honestly did not love the pastry she chose. She thought it would have a sweet glaze, but it was more of a honey glaze, and she is not a honey fan, so she just had a couple bites. Audrey and I shared ours with her though!<br />
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Audrey got a classic chocolate croissant. She devoured it before I could get a picture. She also had the chocolate milk and she was very happy with her choice!<br />
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I got a raspberry chocolate pastry and coffee. If I'm being honest, and I am, the coffee was ehhh. It wasn't bad, but I also wouldn't go for the coffee. In fact, I may bring my own next time. However, the pastry was wonderful. I would definitely go again for the pastry. It was light and fluffy with a crispy crust. Just a hint of chocolate, lemon, and raspberry. It was sooooo good! Yum, yum, yum!<br />
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The atmosphere was bustling. It is literally a hole in the wall. In fact, we almost missed it. I'm fairly certain they do not have seating, just counter service. But so much was going on that it is possible I missed it! Nonetheless, they are very close to the Parlor in Downtown Durham, and they do have outdoor seating there which would be lovely on a temperate day. Loaf opened at 8:00 and we arrived at 8:00 there was already a line and we had to park a few streets away. The staff was very helpful and friendly. Perhaps the best part of the experience was the smell. Oh. my. word. They make their pastries right there in the shop and it smells wonderful. Warm and doughy. Perfect. It was all in all a fabulous experience and I definitely would go again.<br />
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So......anyway......Sophia is taking drivers ed. That is scary and awesome! I do miss having a driver in the house! Unfortunately, because our life is so crazy she has to take it privately and that means Saturday and Sunday all day for 2 weeks and then an additional Saturday. Which also means she will miss the family trip to DC to see Andrew. Boooo! I may take her up another weekend because she really misses him and he's not coming home for spring break or this summer! What am I going to do with that boy! He just keeps right on growing up and heading out! He did land a summer internship with The US House Financial Services Committee. He is super siked about that and he is still working about 20 hours a week at Nike and got to talk to Kyrie Irving when he came into the store a few weeks ago so that was cool. So this summer he plans to work, because he needs money and do his internship, so he should stay pretty busy! He's also swimming for his schools intramural swim team and enjoying that. He took time off all his events last week. His relay team came in first. So YAY!<br />
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Today feels like a gift. February has been so full. We've had birthday parties,<br />
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and super bowl parties,<br />
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and valentines, which at my house means a scavenger hunt. I didn't do a scavenger hunt a couple years ago thinking the kids had probably outgrown it....they hadn't. Talk about disappointment.<br />
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We've had 6th grade dances,<br />
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basketball, oh how I love basketball<br />
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and more birthday parties<br />
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and it has just been so busy!<br />
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Today feels lazy and slow and wonderful. I do need to clean and I do have to run kids here and there and I have a couple gifts to buy and I have already picked up groceries....and gone to Goodwill to drop off things that have been riding around in the trunk of my car for about a month......but it just feels like a much more restful day. I've already gotten to eat pastries, drink coffee, and blog.....Ahhhh<br />
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I may get a tattoo today.....maybe.<br />
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I might wait until summer....so I can wear flip flops while it heals. My foot is already pretty jacked up so I don't have many shoe options that will work this time of year and I'm afraid tennis shoes would be too uncomfortable.....but I'm pretty sure this is happening sometime soonish. My Mama is a tattoo artist. Who knew! She wrote it. That way when I don't have her I will still have her handwriting......I have all these letters from my grandparents and I love them. They are one of my very favorite things.....Its like a part of them left behind.<br />
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OH..... and speaking of goals.....another one of my goals was to read more books. So far this year I've read two:<br />
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Unoffendable by Brant Henson......and that one was a game changer for me.....I should probably get that tattooed on my other foot.....or maybe my forehead....<br />
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and<br />
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Love Idol by Jennifer Dukes Lee.....which is about letting go of your need for approval and seeing yourself through God's eyes. It was a book I had started about a year ago, and never finished. I picked it up again and this time buzzed through it. It was excellent!<br />
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Well....I think this qualifies as rambling......<br />
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Until next time,<br />
Kim<br />
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<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-86002281616927975442018-02-09T03:33:00.001-08:002019-02-17T19:27:54.036-08:00February 10.....A Day that Changed my Life.....FOREVERIt's weird how one day can hold so many emotions. This eve of February 10 I have spent some time reflecting back over the last 17 years since my world stopped turning. It was 2001. It was a time of joy and excitement. We were expecting our second son. I was 8 months pregnant. The nursery was freshly painted, a lovely shade of powder blue. The closet was lined with tiny baseball uniforms and blue onesies. The shelves were stocked with diapers and the crib was setup. We were expecting a baby. A baby we had tried over a year to have. Andrew was 3. Randy and I were 25.<br />
<br />
Then at a routine doctors appointment we were told the baby was a little small. They monitored me closely for a few weeks. The baby was growing, but slowly, very slowly. I was put on strict bed rest. Questioned about my drug and alcohol usage. Told only to get up to go to the bathroom and I could shower twice a week. Seriously? Wow they were being strict. I researched. The Internet was invented back then.....so I poured over articles. I was far enough along. Our baby had over a 90% chance of survival. Each day that number got higher. So I followed the doctors orders. After a few relaxing days, I got sore, very sore. Its painful to lay all day....every day. I prayed, I read the Bible, I researched, I talked on the phone. I visited with sweet friends. The days inched past and then one day I didn't feel the baby move....at all. I knew as the baby got bigger there was less room for movement. I knew that when the mother was still the baby was more restful, but I also knew when you were as pregnant as I was....you felt the baby move....I wasn't feeling anything.<br />
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My sister took me to the doctor that morning. They found the baby's heartbeat. Everything sounded fine. I was sent home. I still did not feel the baby move at all. It was February 7. Late that evening we called the doctor again. He instructed us to go to the emergency room and that he would meet us there. I was escorted immediately to labor and delivery. The nurses searched for a heartbeat. They couldn't find it. Sometimes they could be tricky to find and babies liked to hide, they assured me. Now I realize that is early on....they probably already knew he was gone....but I held on.....ever hopeful and clueless and naive. An ultrasound was ordered and the baby was there! I saw him. He was big. He looked normal, except the spot where his heart was, wasn't flashing. He was dead. The weight of that news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was shocked. I was devastated. Hurry. I wanted them to hurry. Maybe they could revive him. Nobody was rushing. What was wrong with these people. I was wailing. Animal like sobs wrecked my body. Randy made the horrible calls to let our parents know and our doctor, a funny Jewish man about my parents age sat and cried. Dr. Fried, pronounced freed, sat with us for hours. He answered every question I had....and I had a lot.<br />
<br />
How will the baby get out of me?<br />
labor<br />
<br />
Will it hurt?<br />
yes<br />
<br />
When will I go into labor?<br />
your body will go into labor naturally when it is ready.....I remember replying, "you mean I have to leave here pregnant and some random person on a bus is going to ask me when I'm due?" and I remember sobbing. So worried about the pain of answering that question......Now it makes me laugh. I don't ride buses and I didn't back then....but it was a real concern at the time!<br />
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Will you induce me?<br />
Yes.<br />
<br />
Today?<br />
If you like.<br />
<br />
Can you just knock me out and do a c-section?<br />
No it will cause higher risks with future pregnancies.<br />
<br />
Will I get to see the baby?<br />
Yes.<br />
<br />
What if I don't want to?<br />
You don't have to....but we recommend that you do.<br />
<br />
Will the baby look black and decayed or like a normal baby?<br />
normal, but dead.<br />
<br />
What will you do with the baby?<br />
wrap him up, photograph him, weigh and measure and take footprints, and bring him to you.<br />
<br />
Then what are you going to do just throw him away?<br />
No. We will release him to a funeral home and you can make arrangements.<br />
<br />
What happened?<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">We don't know.</span><br />
<br />
Does this happen a lot?<br />
Not a lot but more then we wish.<br />
<br />
They induced labor that night, it was a Wednesday. Contractions started on Thursday. Labor was in full swing on Friday. Then around noon on Saturday, February 10 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. It was so quiet. You could here a pin drop. There was no rushing around. No newborn cries....the only sounds came from me.....wailing for the baby I wanted so badly.<br />
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From Wednesday night until Saturday I had one prayer. I prayed with 100% certainty that God could answer. I prayed for the God who raised children from the dead to raise mine. I prayed for a shred of life. I prayed for a miracle. God in his providence said no. That day a journey of brokenness and healing began that in some ways continues still today.<br />
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We named him Matthew, it means a gift from God. He has been a gift.<br />
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The healing has come slowly. God has been faithful. I do feel like we have a hole in our family....I really wish I was celebrating his 17 birthday tomorrow. Sometimes when I stranger asks me how many kids I have and my kids ages....I'll rattle them off....Andrew-20, Matthew-17, Sophia-14, Jackson and Lydia-12, and our baby Audrey is almost 11. I'll include him....just for fun....he did exist....I don't tell them the story....but I don't leave him out. With people I know I usually just say 5 kids.....it's simpler. No matter how I answer it seems wrong.<br />
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We did find out the reason he died was because he had a "true knot" in his umbilical cord. It had tightened as he grew and it cut off nutrients, thus causing him to grow poorly and eventually die. They promised it would never happen again. Except they were wrong.<br />
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The knot did not kill Matthew. God ordained....with thought and consideration for Matthew to die....and he named it good. They were also wrong because it did happen again. After over a year of trying we finally found out we were expecting again. This time a little girl. My first girl. I was so excited....and absolutely terrified. The doctors watched my pregnancy like a hawk. Weekly ultrasounds the entire second half of my pregnancy. Constant reminders from the doctors that knots were random....it would not happen again.<br />
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Well as May 10 dawned I gave birth to Sophia Grace....and she not only had a knot in her umbilical cord she also had it wrapped tightly around her neck two times.....but God ordained for her to live. I had spent my entire pregnancy praying for a baby to scream. I wanted to hear my baby cry. Well scream she did. That little girl cried for about 3 years straight! Praise God! God used Sophia as an answer to a Mama's prayers and balm to a wounded soul. I thought our story was over, but God was about to show off.<br />
<br />
We wanted more kids so started trying right away. It always took us a bit longer to have kids then we hoped. After over 2 years of trying we found out we were pregnant again.....with twins. They were due in the middle of March. They would probably come early, the end of February or beginning of March......<br />
<br />
Again they watched my pregnancy closely. On February 9 after a day of shopping my feet were swollen to the size of tree trunks. The doctor told me to come to the hospital. My blood pressure had skyrocketed. Baby A (Jackson) was breech....they needed to deliver the babies now. They were going to do an emergency C-section.....So they started the C-section just before midnight and at 12:19 they pulled out Jackson and at 12:20 came Lydia.<br />
<br />
It was February 10, 2006.<br />
<br />
On the 5 year anniversary of losing our precious Matthew.....God lavished his grace on us with Jackson Halsey and Lydia Hope. Only God.<br />
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The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. May the name of the Lord be praised.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow we will celebrate the gift of Jackson and Lydia....<br />
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Jackson is an athlete. He plays basketball in a rec league and when he's not doing that he's playing basketball in our driveway. He loves football. He swims. He runs cross country at school. He's starting to play Ultimate Frisbee at school. He is tall and strong and tough as nails. Jackson in winsome. He reminds me so much of his Daddy. People LOVE Jack. He makes them laugh. He is nice. He does rib.....at times a bit much.....but has such a sweetheart. Jackson is LOUD. He knows how to project his voice. Jackson is brave. He is the frog catcher. Ladybug relocator. Spider killer. He is the one doing handstands in the middle of the dance floor....like literally....he does them. He doesn't mind standing out....in fact he loves it. He loves sugar and sour candy and soda. He has such a sweet tooth. He thinks history is interesting and doesn't love math. He's a charmer! He seeks forgiveness when he is wrong. He is determined. He is a leader. He is a precious gift from God to our family.<br />
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Lydia is creative. She makes things beautiful. She loves to set a beautiful table. She dresses with care and has an eye for cute accessories. She is an amazing student and works very hard to do well in school. Lydia is an expert at planning. She will break big projects into sizable chunks and chip away at them. She is tall and thin and soft spoken. She is a faithful friend. She will listen and help and include. She has a quick and beautiful smile. Lydia is an athlete: she runs and swims. She is always a part of the playground games, a fierce competitor and according to her PE coach has uncanny skill at Capture the Flag. Lydia loves roasted vegetables and homemade mac and cheese. She likes truffles and olives. She is a fabulous writer. She is organized. She is a leader. She is a delight. Lydia is a precious gift of God to our family.<br />
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God has been good to us. I don't understand all that he has allowed but he does have a plan and I can attest....it is good. It has been good. It will be good.<br />
<br />
PS Andrew and Audrey if you are reading this.....please know you are gifts to our family as well. I will blog about you both another day.....Blessings upon blessings<br />
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<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-38966268431513404202018-01-04T17:37:00.000-08:002018-01-04T17:41:16.369-08:00Snow Days Then and NowSnow days used to mean mess<br />
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and noise.....and laundry.....and cold....and hot cocoa....and neighborhood kids in and out<br />
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..slamming doors and fireplace roaring......and sledding </div>
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and snowmen </div>
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and snow bibs on and off and on and off and on and off......and cookies....and gloves......and mind you this was before noon....but the kids have grown. Our snow days are so different....<br />
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This year the kids were in bed until 11:00. I was in bed until 10:00....shameful and wonderful!</div>
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A nice cup of coffee and board games.....</div>
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Brunch around noon.....</div>
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Followed by</div>
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Bubble baths and good books.....</div>
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A Friends marathon.....</div>
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A surprise drop in from the Winn kids....even though we were still in our PJ's and had no makeup on and had billows of dog fur tumbling around we were happy for the sighting! It was almost 4:00 so we should have been dressed.....we just decided not to today......</div>
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Then the younger kids did finally venture out for a bit, disappointed that not much snow was left they decided to hike over to their grandma's to see their cousin for a bit....</div>
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The rest of us played a pretty intense round of Spades....</div>
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A cake was baked.....and dinner was made, not be me.....and dishes cleared...also not by me...</div>
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Laundry was done....that was by me.....</div>
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Now we've all scattered around the house and Lydia and Audrey are playing an online trivia game, and Sophia is texting her friends, and Randy and Andrew are watching TV and talking, and Jack is playing Madden....and I'm blogging and thinking how much life has changed....and how in some ways its so much simpler....like meals...and snow days....... and in other ways it is so much more difficult....like relationships and feelings and technology.</div>
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The twins are about to turn 12. They are begging for Instagram and iPhones and I'm wishing they still wanted Barbies and Nerf Guns....</div>
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Slow down time.....please slow down.</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-45605070200728123402017-09-14T06:53:00.000-07:002017-09-14T08:16:35.942-07:00September's Gifts<div style="text-align: center;">
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I love September.....for several reasons.....It's my BIRTHDAY.....and it's still a little bit summer but fall is quickly arriving. The structure of school and some semblance of routine is returning....yet its not too routine yet. Sweet September!</div>
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September at my house is filled with gifts! I love gifts....but don't really like stuff....so buying for me is probably not the easiest! I rarely have any ideas when asked what I like.....I'm not trying to be difficult....I will tell Randy and my Mama when I really want something (a camera....or a fire pit!) but generally I have no clue. I've been thinking about why a lot this month, because I've been asked a lot what I want....and this is what I came up with:</div>
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I want thoughtfulness.</div>
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I want words.</div>
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I want pictures.</div>
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I want memories.</div>
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These are the things that I value and they are not always easy to put in a box with a bow! </div>
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Some gifts (stuff) really hit the jackpot though....here are a few of my all time favorite gifts.....</div>
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A simple bracelet that sorta sums up my life.....</div>
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This was a Christmas gift this past year.</div>
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A handmade 7 egg shadow box (I have 7 in my tribe!)......</div>
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This was a 40th birthday gift, a few years back!</div>
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Flowers from my Andrew with no prompting, flowers mean very little to me, but him remembering means everything....same when my Jackson buys me a Diet Coke with crunchy ice.....yeah he used Daddy's money but it was his idea!</div>
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Signs.....Randy knew I would like this one because he said it was sorta a rule or command.....</div>
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Evidently its a theme in our home decor...RULES....Randy and Andrew noticed and pointed this out this summer! I do love me some rules! Somebody's got keep this crew in line!</div>
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(There are more....I even have a "porch rules" sign....)</div>
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One gift I received from a friend this year was a pure white water bottle. I do like practical. For real. If you are gonna give me stuff I want to use it! The tear off label said, "Live Pure". </div>
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I don't think the manufacturer meant to covey the message how I took it, but now each time I grab that bottle I'm reminded by the pure white....Live Pure.....YES! </div>
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That is my kind of gift!</div>
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Meaningful and Useful</div>
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God's been so faithful to me and given me a few gifts this month too.....</div>
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One was the gift of Randy. I'm so thankful for him. He is wise and slow to act. I need him! Just this week I was ready to jump in and solve one of my kids relational problems and Randy firmly but gently said no. This is a kid issue. We can talk to the kids, pray with the kids, but we need to let the kids handle this. Oh. my. word. I'm so thankful for Randy's leadership. When I want to jump in and be a helicopter parent I need him to remind me to lead and guide and pray....not to take over and solve. God and the kids worked this situation out so much better then I ever could have!</div>
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There have been other gifts too....lessons in my pridefulness, lessons in my sinful tendency towards self-sufficiency and impatience. That is a blog for another day though!</div>
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September also brought the gift of expanding our community. I have so enjoyed meeting the families of the kid's school friends at a school wide movie night</div>
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I've enjoyed meeting fellow teachers and student's and their families at the preschool.</div>
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I've enjoyed sweet time with Sophia who has been killing me at the gym. She is hardcore! So if you see me hobbling around its from trying to keep up with her! UGH!</div>
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I have been reminded this month of the precious gift of friendships....Mine and my kiddos.</div>
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September Gifts Abound!</div>
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<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-19996668415162967922017-08-31T18:25:00.001-07:002017-08-31T18:30:58.672-07:00What's CookingSo...ya'll....today I'm gonna share THE best salad you have ever had. It is AmAzinG! Oh. My. Word! <br />
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I have Kary to thank for this addiction. Kary is my beloved hair dresser! <br />
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She not only takes care of all our hair and....and eyebrows...and color....she also recommends great salads. She told me I HAD to try the Arugula Salad from Radius Pizza in Hillsborough....so I tried it....YUMMY! However, I'm sorry to say it is also expensive....like $15 a pop if you add salmon.....so I decided I would have to make it at home. I've eaten like 4 times this week. I am totally addicted. <br />
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Arugula</div>
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Feta Cheese</div>
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Dried Cranberries</div>
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Walnuts (Radius uses peanuts....but the peanuts tasted a little weird to me)</div>
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Diced Roasted Sweet potatoes....YES!</div>
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Pan seared salmon....not included on salad, but Kary recommended adding it.</div>
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Vinaigrette Dressing</div>
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You are welcome. I know I'm your new best friend.</div>
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And if you want your kids to think you are awesome....</div>
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Make these cookies</div>
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1 box cake mix (I used strawberry)</div>
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1 regular sized tub Cool Whip (I used reduced fat)</div>
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1 egg</div>
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Mix</div>
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Roll into balls and coat in Powdered Sugar</div>
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Bake at 350 for 10 minutes....</div>
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So quick I made them before school!</div>
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Unfortunately, I didn't take pictures of the finished product....</div>
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They were cute.</div>
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I didn't eat one but my kids LOVED them.</div>
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Happy Thursday!</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-2055974090857045792017-08-20T05:08:00.002-07:002017-08-20T05:08:32.207-07:00Exploring HomeI've lived in Durham basically my whole entire life. I say basically, because I did leave for college, but made a quick return home.....So I kinda thought I knew my town and the surrounding areas. I'm realizing this last week, however, there is really so much I don't know about my hometown. I think my new hobby is going to be uncovering Durm. Take for instance Duke Gardens, I definitely knew it was there and had visited it many times. Nonetheless, I did not know that it was so quiet during the weekday mornings. A perfect spot for a walk, or quiet time, or writing. I will definitely be incorporating this treasure into my life.<br />
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These weekday adventures are giving me lots of ideas for family adventures.<br />
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One of my favorite discoveries this week was King's Red and White. Thank you Julia Curl! Seriously, how can I have lived in Durham my whole life and been so unaware! It is the cutest, quaintest grocery you can even imagine. Mapleview Farms butter (and ice cream), homemade jam, 9th street bakery bread, local produce, a real butcher in back, hand drawn signs in the window. Oh. my. word. My new favorite!<br />
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Rubbing shoulders with strangers. Strangers becoming acquaintances......maybe even new friends. New friendships bring even more discoveries. Randy found a new favorite drink from one of Lydia's new friends. Mixing things up a bit, eyes open wide....<br />
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Slowing down. Paying attention. Breathing deep. Discovering hidden treasures along the way.<br />
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Absorbing life.<br />
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Pouring out from His abundance.....Ahhhh<br />
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<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7523065377369627287.post-34319171523670723842017-08-11T17:17:00.000-07:002017-08-11T17:17:30.588-07:00I Survived Summer and Starting School!Mama's, summer is no joke! It's fast, it's fun, it's full and at our house it's over. It went out with a bang! I spent several days at my parents beach house and let each of my kids bring a friend. It was really fun.....<br />
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Lots of laughs<br />
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Lots of memories<br />
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Lots of food<br />
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Lots of sunshine<br />
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After our friends left we headed into a weeklong family vacation, that was exactly what the doctor ordered!<br />
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We came home, unpacked, and hit the ground running because 5 short days after vacation ended school began!<br />
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So on Thursday, I sent my four kiddos back to school. The big one heads back in a couple weeks!<br />
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Sophia was headed to the brand new high school! It's so pretty!!!!<br />
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She is absolutely in LOVE with high school. She came home beaming.<br />
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Jackson and Lydia both started middle school. That is crazy! Lydia came home bubbling over with excitement about school and talking about all the friends she made. Jackson made lots of friends and came home with a new nickname, "Jay"! There is another Jackson in his class.....so Jay it is! They were a little bummed when they realized that they were twinning on the first day of school....it was accidental! <br />
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As I was talking to Jackson before bed last night, I asked him who the prettiest girl in his class was. He rolled his eyes and reluctantly admitted, "Lydia". So sweet!<br />
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Audrey is in the fifth grade, and she is crazy about her teachers and already making friends. Sophia asked her if she had done any of her voices at school yet. She hasn't.....yet. They have no idea.....I'm sure she will come out of her shell in a few days :)<br />
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I did tear up a little on Thursday as I dropped off the last kiddo. Just for a bit though. This is a new chapter for me. I've homeschooled most of my adult life....and the one year they did go to school before I taught school. So I'm home alone....and it is weird....and I must admit....a bit wonderful!<br />
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I've been stopping at the Riverwalk on my way home from school and walking and listening to music and I love it! It is quiet and beautiful. <br />
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I am hopeful that this will become a habit. <br />
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I've also enjoyed unrushed Quiet Times with Peach Tea and uninterrupted Phone Calls with sweet friends. <br />
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So far it has been a lot of the same....Laundry, Dishes, Cooking, Cleaning, Planning, Organizing.<br />
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It is easier and quieter.<br />
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Except not the paperwork.....there is a lot of paperwork!<br />
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It's also a little different.....Packing Lunches, Morning Rush, Afternoon Carlines.....<br />
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And different because my breakfast game has been on point....(I'll try to remember to blog when I throw Pop tarts at them too!)<br />
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But it's also different because life feels a bit more restful....a lot less stressed.....like I can breathe a little. <br />
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(a little inspiration found on my morning walk)</div>
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I love my crew and am so excited to see them each afternoon and hear their stories and about their days but the break has been nice....very, very nice. Except when Mindy tears up the trash and I'm the only one to clean it! Just keeping it real......<br />
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<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241117868894825390noreply@blogger.com1