I keep hearing about this article "Exposing Major Blind Spots of Homeschooling." and have had several friends email it, blog about it, and ask my opinion on it.....so I finally read it today....and this is my opinion....so take it for what it is worth :)
The Article can be found here
I am a parent first and foremost. Homeschooling is how I have chosen to educate my children. So when I read this article the first thing that strikes me is the heartache ANY parent would feel when their child chooses to turn their back on the training and teaching and values their parents have invested into them. However if you have been a parent for any length of time or interacted with parents it doesn't take long to realize that this does happen. I personally think it has very little to do with where your children were schooled or the amount of love or investment the parents have made. I believe that God has a plan for each of his children. I have seen fabulous parents have children who turn their back on the faith. I have seen terrible parents raise children who do MIGHTY things for the kingdom. I do think parents have input, in fact major input, into their children....I think that input matters....a lot.... BUT I do not think that they control the outcome. NOBODY will parent perfectly aside from Christ. He gave us a free will and we are sinful by our very nature....so we will fall away. People rebelling is not shocking to me. The thought of my children sinning is not surprising to me. I spend a lot of time with them. I see their sin. I am broken by their sin. I am humbled by the way I must make my FATHER feel with my UGLY, UGLY sin. Rebellious is what we are. Even us homeschoolers! HOWEVER his grace is enough....for public schoolers, homeschoolers, "perfect parents" and imperfect parents. I believe the focus of this article is very inward and not very outward or upward.
I do not think that homeschool parents and public school parents are all that different. I think we ALL want what is BEST for our kids. I think we ALL want them to succeed. I think homeschoolers and public schoolers can make their children idols. We live in a country that caters to kids. That thinks if a child wants something they should have it. I think homeschoolers and public schoolers can emphasize outward form. All you have to do is turn on Dr. Phil and hear his latest on behavior management techniques to know the goal of many parents is to control behavior. I think homeschoolers and public schoolers have a tendency to judge. Look at how we pick sides and point fingers. I think homeschoolers and public schoolers can depend on formulas. I think this is often born out of the hearts desire to do the best. I think homeschoolers and public schoolers have an over dependence on authority and control....and some believe their children should have all authority and control....when the truth is Authority and Control is Christ's alone!
Sheltering.....Ahhh.....this is a doozie. Are we sheltering or protecting? Are we "keeping them from the REAL world" or preparing them to live in it? Are they to be salt and light in the darkness of public school (that is sarcastic) or are we feeding them to the sharks if we send them there? Are some children OVER sheltered at home?....YES! Are some children UNDER protected at school?.....YES!
Not passing on a pure faith.....I pray not. Yet I know many parents are not. Many times I am not. I judge. I sin. I screw up and my homeschooled children have a front row seat. My prayer is that God covers the holes. That as I screw up.....they also see me confess....they also get a front row seat to the sanctification PROCESS....They don't see me blow up....drop them off....and pick them up again a totally different person. They do get to see the WHOLE process. The blow up.....the break down.....the confession.....the restoration.....and the NEW LIFE and FORGIVENESS IN CHRIST!
If my prayer is anything it is that the faith they see is REAL. NOT PERFECT.....not LEGALISTIC.....NOT RIGHT...... BUT REAL and ALIVE and GROWING.
I do not even understand how it is possible to spend so much time with your kids and not cultivate a relationship with them. That is sad. If I do this homeschool gig....and it is NOT EASY....and IT IS A SACRIFICE....and at the end don't have a relationship with these precious people...and haven't conveyed to them the real purpose of life....then I truly have missed the point.
So.....lets say I do this homeschool thing.....lets say I lay it all out and give it 100% and then my kids are not perfect......
Well....I didn't expect them to be.
What if the BOY goes wild in college. THE GIRL get pregnant out of wedlock. THE TWINKIES turn their back on the faith. AND THE BABY wants nothing to do with her CrAzY family. Well I would be devastated. I would be crushed. I would be heart broken beyond belief. I may even blame myself and say I should have sent them to public school....
BUT What if I do.
What if next year I quit. I'm done. I need a break and off they go to public school. What if the BOY becomes a missionary. THE GIRL is a virgin when she marries. TWINKIE BOY becomes a preacher and TWINKIE GIRL marries a Christian camp leader and THE BABY grows up and becomes an AMAZING public school teacher touching kids with the love of the Lord.....I would be thrilled. I would be so glad that I decided to send them to public school. I may even say....wow I should have done that sooner......
BUT both would be wrong. BECAUSE both focus on me and on them. The truth is....nothing will woo them but the Holy Spirit. If I homeschool and get great results it is not because I am so great. If I homeschool and my kids are total losers it is not because I am so bad. If I send them to public school and get great results it is not because I prepared them for the real world. If I send them to public school and they are total losers it is not because I didn't sacrifice enough or love them enough or do enough.....The truth is....it is not about me. It is certainly not about how I school them. IT IS ALL ABOUT HIM!
I do agree with the authors solution and conclusions. I do think the key to how they "turn out" is getting their hearts. I pray regularly that God would get their hearts. I care very little about behavior. Although I am often embarrassed by my children's behavior, lack of good manners, messiness, meanness.....etc. I care a GREAT deal about their hearts. Even now I pray that God would sew their hearts to his....whatever it takes....and mine too! I think parenting matters. I think we have one shot (or five). However I am eternally grateful for grace that covers my parenting and homeschooling holes!
and that is what I think about that!
Love,
Kim
PS I know in the opening paragraph he directed this to homeschoolers and parents but he went on to "pick on" homeschoolers and their stereotype. I'm just not one for stereotypes. I don't like judging.....homeschoolers or public schoolers!
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