I have learned something this week.....at a heart level. Like REALLY learned it. This is it....God allows what he does for our good and his glory. I would have told you this was true 15 years ago. I have known this intellectually for a long time. But this week it hit me. I really got it.
I wasn't planning on an epiphany this week. I wasn't thinking about Matthew this week. But the Lord is still healing my heart. I thought I had learned all the lessons from the chapter of my life called Matthew.....I guess not.
I knew God allowed Matthew to die. I knew he had a plan in it. I knew his plan was good. His fingerprints were ALL over the situation. I knew he would be glorified in it. HOWEVER......I realized this week that God thought it out. He didn't just make it good after the fact. He didn't JUST bring beauty from the ashes. He allowed the fire in my life. He prepared it in advance. He actually weighed it and measured it and decided in his love to allow it. He said yes. Allowed it. He portioned out what was good for me. Not only because he IS good...and he is......but because it was good for me, and as hard as it was.....it WAS for my good. At one point this would have made me angry....but now it just humbles me. He is real and he is aware and involved in the intricate details of my life and he cares. He thinks about me. He plans for me. He decides what is best for me. That is love.
He is amazing and he is good. He cares about the details...and portions out just what is good....measures it out....says I will allow this much....and not an ounce more.....and it is out of his goodness and it is part of his plan. He did not wave his magic wand over our heartache to make the bad stuff good....but wrote out his plan for my life and he orchestrates the heartache because it WAS good for US.
What a wonderful Savior!
(If you don't know what I'm talking about you can read about Matthew here)
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