Workin Out

You know I am changing.  You know I've shed a large amount of weight.  My church has changed.  My pastimes have changed.  My extended family has changed with the loss of my grandparents.  It's been a lot of change.  Change-Change-Change.  If you know me....you know I am not a big fan of change!  The changes have brought loss.  Loss of weight...no complaints here.  Loss of friends.  Loss of comfort.  Loss of loved ones.  Not everything has changed.  I still love the Lord.  I still adore Randy and my kids.  I still live in the same house.  I still drive the same van.  I still home school.  I still am a part of the same co-op.  I still have a lot of the same friends.  I still think Shay and Linda are awesome.  I am thankful for some sameness in my life too!

However....the change that has been most profound lately is one of my pastimes.  I exercise now.  I actually run...and I like it.  I've even been pondering something lately and wondering if my running could possibly be worship?  I run early.  I listen to praise music.  I think.  I sing/pray the words.  I pray.  All with my eyes open and mouth shut mind you.  But my heart and mind are fully engaged.  I find I cry a lot when I run.  I'm not sure why.  I just do.  I feel like I'm being healed.  I'm not exactly sure what I'm being healed of.....I think part of the healing is of my idolatry towards food and tendency towards laziness, but I don't know.  Running is more then just exercise to me.  It is good for my soul.  It really is.  When I get back I always feel cleaner and like I've just come home from church. I really feel like running is more then just physical training in my life.  I really do think God is using it to sanctify me spiritually.  I may be totally wrong, but it just seems bigger and holier to me then exercise. 

I've definitely seen some themes in my life over the last months: Idolatry, Sanctification, Loss and Discipline are the big four. Hmmmm.....