It was one of those early morning......3:58......can't sleep so maybe I'll freak out mornings. My throat is tight. My mind is racing. Why? My girl is going to camp......without me!
So is Andrew....but he's done it before. Sophie has not. She's been to camp 2 times but both times were with church and I was a chaperon. This time is with some friends and I'm not going. She's excited and scared. I'm excited and scared. Every step she takes away makes me so happy and proud. Yet it leaves me so raw. So exposed. It is a slow, gentle, necessary tear to my heart.
I think it is especially hard with her because of her dyslexia. I want to protect her. I want to help her. I'm afraid someone will be mean to her. I'm afraid someone will hurt her. I'm afraid she will get confused and need help and won't know how to ask....won't have the words to say. Yet this is a chance to grow and to trust the Lord. These are the details he cares about. These are the moments I can keep her under my wing and keep her "safe" or I can push her out and let her fly.....or fall.....and get up....and learn and grow and become stronger.
FLY Baby Girl....or fall and GROW.....but DON'T live controlled by fear!
I am constantly reminding myself....safety is important....but it is not the goal. Life is not safe. Life is an adventure. Life requires risk. Life requires us to be brave. Mama's included! Life is an adventure! I want my girl to LIVE it.....not fear it! So I must let her.....which means laying my heart exposed. Risking more then I want to risk. Being braver then I want to be. Yet she is worth it.
Psalm 56:3
"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust: I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me!"
He loves my girl. He cares about her. His plan for her life is good. I will trust him.
So if we pass your mind this week. Pray for us. Pray for my sweet girl. Pray for Andrew. Pray for the people who cross their paths. Pray for a wonderful, fun, memory filled week. And pray for their Mama to trust the Lord and not run to fear.
Ready for the adventure!
Kim
will be praying! for you AND for her! much love!
ReplyDeleteAm praying and am reminded of the scripture from Isaiah that says"I will be with you as you walk through the flames they'll not consume you for I am the Lord your God. Do not fear for I have redeemed you- you are Mine.....". He loves You and He loves each one of your sweet kids. He alone is faithful. The enemy of our souls desires to rob us of our joy, hope...every other good thing and have us instead filled with fear. Remember the enemy cannot stand in the presence of praise to our Father. The Lord has prepared for this day and goes before you as you walk in faith in Him. Sophie and Andrew will have a great adventure! Love you sweet Kim!
ReplyDeletePs 91 says He who dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Sophie (and you and Andrew) will always be in His shadow, covered by His wings of protection bc of the prayers you and Randy and so many others have and are praying over your home. Be encouraged, sweet friend.
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