Becoming

How we spend our moments, is how we spend our lives. I wish I had taken captive my moments when I was 20....but hey, 49 is better than never! I didn't really know about the importance of rhythms, habits, discipline. But I'm learning. I'm becoming. I've been working on these for a couple years now. I'm getting better. They are becoming more a part of my life. It's the rhythms that I am trying to create. In Justin Whitmel Earley's book, "The Common Rule Habits of Purpose for an age of Distraction" he said, "to fully understand habits you must think of habits as liturgies. A liturgy is a pattern of words or actons repeated regualry as a way of worship." I love this. Rhythms of prayers; morning, noon, and night-knees bent, head bowed remembering and anchoring myself to the source of life and meaning. Morning rhythms; water, vitamins, pilates, coffee, and quiet time all before phone. Rhythms of the table; that invite outsiders in-nightly dinners, communion, student table fellowship lunches, Sunday family lunches with extras, and Home Fellowship meals with my church family. I see a shared table as a way to be what Earley calls a, "light of presence in a dark culture of loneleness". Rhythms of presence; fullness of presence-focused presence; which means I must master my smartphone. I must turn it off. I must delete the apps that rob me of my time, my focus, my attention, my life. I want to be where my feet are. Fully focused, completely engaged-present. I must become comfortable with boredom and silence. Stare at the wall, have a book in my purse, watch people. Avoid distraction and the constant quest of being entertained. Rhythms of relationships; Tuesday coffee with Christi, Monday, monthly Mom Talk. Sunday night home fellowship at the Winn's; periodic couples date night with the Mangum's and Tilley's. Holiday celebratons with extended family. Rhythms of health; walking a mile a day, eating protein focused meals, being in the sunshine, drinking water. Rhythms of home maintenance; chores, meal prep, errands, laundry, car care, work, planning, writing, dishes. Rhythms of rest; Sunday nap, early bedtime, DEAR (drop-everything-and-read) time at school and after lunch walks at school. I'm becoming a disciplined person. I'm becoming a student of the moments of my life. I'm seeing my habits as my liurgies. I'm slowly becoming more of who Christ created me to be.

The Crushing Grace of God

NOTE: This post was originally written March 8, 2025....I just posted it on 7/8/25 It's birthday season at our house! The twins turned nineteen last month,

Andrew turned 27 last week,

Audrey will be 18 next month,

and then Sophia will be 22 in May

and Randy will be 50 in June,

which means I am not far behind! Where is time going? I blink and I haven't blogged in two years! This morning I was feeling a little sad, because I am supposed to be in Pennsylvania with Randy visiting Andrew and Vicky for his birthday and I'm not. I'm here recovering from the flu. So as I moped around the house this morning I decided to read Paul David Tripp's New Morning Mercies and he said so eloquently, "We all need to encourage one another with the theology of uncomfortable grace, because this side of eternity, God's grace often comes to us in uncomfortable forms. It may not be what you and I want, but it is precisely what we need. God is faithful; he will use the brokeness of the world that is your present address to complete the loving work of personal transformation that he has begun. Now, that's grace." I love this. It is so true. I can't go through birthday season without thinking of Matthew. Matthew would have been 24. What an absolute, loving, grace of God that He wrecked my life with the love and the loss of Matthew. So this is my encouragement to you; don't waste your suffering. God is allowing it-with knowledge, with love, with purpose, for a reason. Unfortunately, loss and suffering and hard times and my own sinfulness seem to be the context of my most precious growth and learning. So my friends if this is a season of hurt and loss and unimaginable pain take hold of the hope of Jesus Christ. He IS faithful. Someone sent me this song on February 10, It's called Flowers. It was a good reminder for me. "So I brought it up in a desperate prayer Lord, why are you keeping me here? Then He said to me Child, I'm planting seeds I'm a good God, and I have a good plan So trust that I'm holding a watering can And someday you'll see That flowers grow in the valley When I'm on the mountain and looking down below I'll see a valley of flowers that needed time to grow And I'll thank you for the rain The hurt and days of pain And I'll bring it up in a grateful prayer Thank you, Jesus, for keeping me there You know just what I need And you've planted seeds Cause you're a good God with a real good plan And you hold my world and a watering can So I can have peace. Cause flowers grow in the valley" I would have chosen a different plan. But He didn't-and I can say without a doubt He IS faithful and He IS good. Sometimes His graciuos will is to wreck our lives and crush our dreams. Yet, he has a purpose and we may not understand it fully until we reach heaven, but then we will know fully and be known fully. Oh, I can't wait to see the beautiful tapestry of lives wrecked in the loving hand and with the loving knowledge of Christ. What beautiful stories and testimonies he is writing. If you don't know the story of Matthew; it's here on the blog....look for posts in February and you'll find it!