A Real Blog

Okay....so I haven't done very many REAL blogs lately....cause it's just too hard.  I have a bunch of real feelings/thoughts/stuff going on but it is just easier to post about activities.  I've been hesitant to post much real stuff cause I don't want to hurt anyone that I love.  I'm honestly afraid that no matter what I write it will be taken the wrong way.  That my feelings for one place may be taken as feelings against another place....and that simply is not the truth.

This is the truth.  We have found a local church that we love.  We love the health of the church.  We studied 9 Marks website when we began looking for a church to make sure we made a wise choice.  We also prayed a lot.  We agreed with the 9 Marks website and decided as we looked for a church that we wanted it to have these 9 Marks.  We visited 2 churches.....and we intended to visit at least 4 more....but we can't bear to miss a week.  We love the governance of this church.  It is elder led.  We love the preaching at the church. It is expositional. He preaches straight through the Bible.  We love the organization of the church.  It is well thought out.  They post how to prepare/pray for worship and the music to be sung the following Sunday on their website the Tuesday after each service.  So you can spend the whole week meditating.  Memorizing the scripture and singing worship songs and everything correlates.  The scripture, the message, the music.  It is very orderly.  We love the mission of the church and how intentional and deliberate they are in communicating it weekly to the body.  EVERYTHING they do seems to tie to their mission and they are very explicit in telling HOW it ties to the mission.  We love how they use Sunday School for intentional discipleship and that it is taught by elders.  It is taught in systematic tracts that will take each adult 5 years to complete the entire process.  The elders are 3 pastors and 4 (I think) elected lay men.  We love the transparency of the church.  Elders and deacons are elected openly and voted on in the open.  They must give their testimony and undergo questioning by the body.  There is no back room vote.  The finances are published weekly in the bulletin along with how much short they are of reaching their budget.  They do not take roll.  I'm not sure why.....that is one of my questions.  I love the membership process.  As an interested person you call the church office, then you go to a perspective membership weekend, then you are interviewed by an elder and share about your conversion, baptism, walk with the Lord and they answer any questions, and then if both parties are in agreement about membership then you introduce self to the body and sign a membership covenant.  The covenant is beautiful.....just beautiful.  Finally after signing the covenant the church votes to officially approve membership.  I love that membership is taken so seriously.  I love that they practice church discipline.  I love that they hold the body accountable and that they don't judge the lost.  They judge one another.  I just love the health of the church.  That is the truth.  It is not a slam on anybody or saying anything about any other church.  It is simply the truth of what we love.

The rest of the truth is this.  We miss our friends at RBC.  We have maintained many relationships and we treasure these but we do miss the people that we only saw at church.  They were/are special to us.  Our kids miss their camps and outings and mission projects.  They miss everyone knowing and loving them.  Building new relationships takes time.  Especially in the summer when their is so much coming and going and there are no small groups and different church schedules.  It is harder to get to know people.  So the relationships aspect has been hard. People have been very friendly, very welcoming, and very nice and helpful.  We do know a few families from living in Durham and home schooling, so we aren't complete strangers to everyone.  It's been hard on the kids.   Audrey has said "Can we PLEASE go back to Ridgecrest....PLEASE." Of course she chose to say this in front of Shay :) and Jackson when we passed by Ridgecrest on our way to the library said..."Can I at least have my birthday party there again? "  2 weeks ago Sophie asked her Sunday School teacher if she could leave class.  The teacher told her to wait outside the door and went out and talked to her and discovered Sophie was crying because she was afraid the teacher forgot that she had dyslexia and was going to call on her to read. The teacher handled it beautifully and told me all about it so I would know what had happened.   Jackson also tells us each week how boring it is.  He does not like sitting still and quiet for over an hour each Sunday....but I must say....he is getting better at it.  As tears streamed down my face and I hug their necks I just pray.  It has not been easy.

God is using this to grow me and them.  I have felt absolutely bathed in his word.  Saturated in it.  Drenched.  I have made 2 BIG life changes brought about from direct conviction from the word of God.  No guilt.  No manipulation.  Just truth.  Served without apology....without sweetener....just raw truth.  It is precious.  I love Gods word.  It brings conviction.  It changes lives.  That is the only way I can describe it.  I have worshiped in a deeper way.  I have learned so much. 

Church attendance at this church is not easy.....children come with you to the service.  It is not as fun.  The music is not as good.  The pews are not as comfortable.  The stairs are hard to maneuver...it's like 4 stories tall.  Its not convenient at all yet I can't bear to miss it.  I love it.  I know I will grow to love and know the people there as well but that honestly is the hardest part.  I miss my people.  But I know without a single doubt we are exactly where God wants us to be.  I just wish it were easy and it's not.  It's hard.  It hurts.  It's lonely. 

But

God called us out and he is pouring into us and He is faithful.

If I have hurt any of you with this post please know it is not at all my intention.  I adore my friends and pastors and people at Ridgecrest.  We are not mad and did not leave because we were mad.  We left because it was time.  That is it.  God was ready to move us on in another place and grow us up in ways that could not happen at Ridgecrest.  So we really aren't coming back.  We really aren't mad.  We really are missing you.  We really do love you.  We really are still on the journey with you.  God is really working in our lives.  As so often he does.....the change and beauty and growth often comes with loss and pain.

And that is the truth...it's not pretty....it hurts a little....but it's real.