The truth

So one of my major blog phobias is coming true.  People have this notion that my children are perfect children and that I am wonder mom.  This could not be further from the truth!  I cringe when people make comments about how great I am or how super my kids are.  My kids are kids.  They are total sinners.  Naughty.  Annoying.  Fussy.  Messy.  Bratty.  I just don't think it is nice to blog bad stuff about people....so I try to focus on the positive.  My kids are so normal.  They are so sinful and they sooooooo got it from me!  They are also so preciously, wonderfully, mine and I adore them.....but oh my word.....please do not think for a second that they are sweet, wonderful, obedient, compliant children.

The truth is some of them are fairly compliant.....and it scares me to death. If anything concerns me more then my loud, obnoxious sinful children.....it would have to be my quiet, outwardly compliant children. I was compliant on the outside too and a rebel to the core.  I have several little Pharisees and it is terrifying to me.  I also have at least one.....probably two.....defiant kids.  I say anything....they say NO!  So rest assured.....they are not even close to perfect!

And I hate to disappoint....but wonder mom is not here.   I yell.  I get frustrated.  I cave in.  I care more about what needs to be done then what needs to built into their lives.  I care more what people think than what God thinks.  I am selfish.  I want MY time.  I want people to LEAVE ME ALONE!  I want.....I want.....I want.  I think mean things about people.  I say mean things about people.....I have tons of issues....ask Randy or even better.....ask Andrew!

I love blogging.....but I hate that only a segment can come through a filter and people who read think this is the entirety of our lives.  It's not.  It is the part I am recording for my kids to remember.  It is the great truths the Lord is teaching me.  It is the fun stuff we do.  It is the funny stuff I want to remember.  It is the moments I am so overwhelmed with love that I want to record it so they will know how much I adore them.  It's the recipes that turn out well.  It's the books worth reading.  It's the struggle that is going to pay off......

It is not the fussing over the Wii from dawn to dusk.  It is not the fighting over who sits where in the van.  It is not when I am about to lose my mind and in utter frustration yell shut up!  It is not the complaining about my cooking and not wanting to eat dinner but then starving for a snack before bed. Its not when I should have listened but I spanked.  Its not when I should have spanked but I talked... It is not the crying about tangles in their hair.  It's not fussing about who feeds and waters and walks the dog more.  It is not the constant...."I don't want to...." or "I want....."
That is daily and that is real and that is happening here too I can assure you!  I just don't blog about it much.....because that is the part I try not to focus on too much.....that is the exhausting.....that is the monotonous.....that is the day in day out...hard work of parenting. 

Please know I'm there.  I am so there!

Kim