My Heart

Wow!  My heart is full right now.  Not perhaps with what most people would guess given our current situation.  I am not worried about Randy's job loss, I am hopeful that he will find one soon.  I am not stressed over finances.  I am watching where we spend our nickles and dimes but I know the Lord is going to provide.  However....I'm worried about my girl.  Perhaps worried is not the right word.  Maybe concerned would be a better choice....at least it sounds more spiritual!

My beautiful, sweet, artistic, athletic, little girl.....
She has so many gifts.....she is so very precious......I long for her to succeed.....I long for her to have an easy life.....I long to protect her....

I don't know what to do.

So.....Anyway....Last night I FINALLY got a chance to read a few articles in my summer 2011 edition of This Old Schoolhouse Magazine.  Guess what the theme of the magazine is for the summer.....Learning Disabilities! 
Here are the articles I read last night:
Confused by Dyslexia Jolie's Story....by Diane Hurst
Educational Remediation From the Brain Stem up an Interview with Anna Buck
To Worry or Not to Worry about Your Child's Development by Deborah Woodward
Teaching Your Right-Brain Child Plan B by Dianne Craft

To say I was blessed would be an understatement!  (Thanks again Mama for the BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER.....this magazine subscription has been WONDERFUL!)  However.....I was also sad.  Why?  Because this is going to be a life long issue.  There is not a quick fix. 

I am an A,B,C....1,2,3.....task master.  I like plans.  I like systems.  I like directions.  I like to work the plan.
I. am. so. overwhelmed.  Her needs are bigger then my wallet.  They are bigger then my abilities.  They are bigger then my energy. 

BUT THEY ARE NOT BIGGER THEN MY GOD!!!!!

I don't have a plan.  I don't know how to "fix" this. 

WHERE I AM WEAK HE IS STRONG!!!!

So.....I am in the process of developing a plan.  I have decided to focus on what I am doing and what I can do and stay aware and educated about things....even if I can't afford them because maybe one day I can or maybe the Lord will show me another way that is less expensive that can meet the same needs.....

I will probably be blogging about this on a fairly regular basis because it is where my heart is right now.

The number one part of my plan is this:  I am going to give it to God.  He is big enough.  He does love her.  He did create her this way and he wants what is BEST for her!  So he and I do have the same agenda.  If the outcome looks the same remains to be seen :).  But I do trust him and I do know HE IS FAITHFUL!

So how am I going to give it to God?  Every. single. morning. in. prayer.  I will pray over  this sweet girl every. single. day. until. something. happens.  If I do nothing else she is going to be absolutely covered in my prayers.  Although I have a few other ideas too :)  But that is A # 1.  If you would like to pray with me here is how you can:

So please my friends pray:
1.  That discouragement does not get a foothold in my heart.
2.  That I will focus on the improvement I see and not the speed with which it is coming.
3.  That I will not tell a particularly mean little girl to "shut up" ( I KNOW it's not right....but it's really where I am right now.....ugh!) and that I will instead extend grace and realize that she behaves the way she does because of behaviors she has learned and that it is not personal to my girl....grrr!  Don't ask who it is....because I won't tell!  Just pray for The Mama and The Girl because we both get our feelings hurt when hers are hurt!
4.  That the Lord would grant me wisdom in choosing the best therapies.
5.  Pray for me to be gentle and patient.  I know your not suppose to pray for that....but seriously.....My girl needs a gentleness and patience that is not in my human nature.  She needs a lot of compassion and a lot of understanding and a lot of time......so pray for the supernatural!
6.  Praise that we are able to use a top of the line curriculum especially designed for children with dyslexia.
7.  Praise that she is able to take gymnastics and that she loves it and is successful at it (the balancing is very helpful in children with neurological issues-which dyslexia is).

Okay....I think I'm going to make it down from the ledge now :)  Thanks again to all of you for allowing me to vent!  I may share the beginnings of my plan next time.  And for those of you who pray for me and my girl....THANK YOU.....I am more grateful than you know!

Love,
Kim