My Advice......for what it is worth!

I don't give out a lot of advice.....because I am not much of an expert.  I am so in the trenches.  So a mess.  So trying to do my best and figure stuff out.

However.....Buckle up.  Here comes some advice!

If you have a different learner.  Whether they are slower or messier or more distracted or dyslexic....things you do at home and in class CAN make a difference.  It has been a long and tearful and confusing journey for me.  I want to encourage you.  Keep going!  It does get better.  Even if THEYdon't, but I bet they will improve along the way too!

1.  I say test them and label them. 

I know, I know. Don't throw tomatos at me!  I know I've thought about it.....I've struggled with it.  I've second guessed it.  Kids might live up to their label.  They might use it as an excuse.  They might use it as a crutch.  They might be embarrassed.  I, however, am throughly convinced that information is power.  How can you fix something when you don't know what needs to be fixed?  If I think my child is lazy and unmotivated and really they are struggling because their brains are wired to read differently then their peers and therefore the way and the speed at which they need to learn needs to be different then everyone else.  I for one think Dyslexic is a better label then Lazy.....The solutions to the two issues are not at all the same either.  You need to know what you are dealing with!  I think the key to labels is what you do with them.  I think they can be powerful and they can help.  I think the parents can explain the label to their kids and I think that is what matters most. What the parents do with it.  My daughter knows that dyslexia just means your brain is wired to learn to read differently then most kids.  She also knows that it has nothing to do with intellegence level the different wiring just makes the process of learning to read a lot less natural and lot harder.  She also knows that dyslexia brings with it some amazing gifts and abilities that people without dyslexia will never have.  My girl feels good about herself.  Sure she has shed some tears over the years over the path she has to blaze, but she is blazing it!

2. I say less is more.

They really don't need to do every single math problem.  Life with learning differences is exhausting.  The effort these kids put out to function is enormous.  If they know how do the problem and they have been doing it for weeks....maybe 5 is okay instead of 20.  If writing is a struggle...they can type or talk, they just need to know the information.  Sure they have to learn to write.  There is a class for that it is called penmanship.  It can last about 10 minutes a day....then can they please just learn.  Can they express ideas without picking up a pencil and shutting off their brain.  Right after penmanship....I say time for keyboarding!  That is a much more useful skill in this day and age.

3.  Except for reading.

I think you can not read too much.  They need to read a little each day and work on their lessons with regularity.  However, you need to read a lot.  Sorry.  No way around it.  If you want them to learn read them their science.  They will learn it.  Read them their history.  They may become interested.  Read them good books.  Their brains will grow, their vocabulary will grow, and they may begin to dream up some good stories of their own.  Read them God's word and about how people struggle and fail and mess up and how God can still use broken imperfect people.  When you lose your voice checkout tumblebooks.com.  Let them read for you.  Then they can get lost in their own stories and tell you about them....If you choose to make them read everything they will work so hard on reading they will miss the content.  They will not learn and they will get behind in everything.  If you can't read their textbooks due to time or other issues check out Learning Ally a great resource.  If you want them to learn you must compensate for their weak areas.  However, do dedicate a portion of each day just working on the reading....but not all of every day.

4. And sleeping.....

These kids work HARD.  They often need more sleep.  My son and daughter that struggle with dyslexia both need between 11-12 hours of sleep on school nights to be well rested.  When they don't get it they are much more likely to end up in tears when working hard.  Even after a full night sleep they still can get tired after extended work and may need a mid day break to just re-energize.  Mine need food and movement to help them wake up!

4.  Encourage them.

All the time.  The world is ready to tell these kids how messed up they are.  To laugh when they mess up a simple word.  To tear them down because they are not a carbon copy of everyone else.  Encourage them that God has a special plan for their lives.  He made them the way he did on purpose.  I would not fill them with false accolades of their greatness but I would point them to the Creator who knows what he is doing and chose this for them for a reason.  Then I would get excited over their success.  Everyone needs a cheerleader.  Give them hope. 

5.  Pray.

For them.  That they would learn.  That their brain pathways will be built.  That they would not be defined by their differences.  That they would grow in grace.  Pray for yourself.  It is hard.  It is frustrating.  An errant word can do damage.  Pray for wisdom in how to teach.  Pray for their teachers.  That they would have clarity, insight, wisdom, and success in their efforts.

6.  Get Help.

Seriously.  Read posts from families and teachers and experts.  Read books.  Knowledge is so helpful.  Hire a tutor or a babysitter so you can tutor.  Buy resources specifically designed to help your child's differences.  Not everything helps.  But some stuff does.

7.  Be their advocate.

Tell their teachers not to call on them to read in front of a group, unless they volunteer.  Tell their teachers they need to get up and walk around the room every 15 minutes to help them focus.  Tell their teacher they need earplugs to block out classroom noise.  You have to be their voice.  You know them best and you can speak up and help them. 


My journey with my daughter has taught me so much!  As I begin the journey with my son I am wiser and more encouraged then I was so many years ago when I first started this journey.  My daughter volunteers to read in public now, on occasion.  She reads stuff in her environment.  She loves words.  She reads books to little ones.  Her tutor said recently that her language skills were one of her biggest strengths.  Her phonographic reading level is at a 12th grade level, her vocabulary and comprehension level are off the chart.  She is still working hard to build her orthographic memory which is the last piece in the puzzle of her reading struggle.......my girl is getting there!  Praise the Lord!  Our tutor, Elizabeth, fully expects my girl not only to read well but to actually LOVE reading.  She said she wouldn't be surprised at all if one day my daughter taught other children how to read.  At that moment I dissolved in a puddle of tears.  There is hope friend.  Hang in there.  I think most failure comes from quitting too soon.  The road is LLLLOOOOONGGGG and hard but it is SOOOOO worth it!  Hang in their Mama's!  I'd love to hear your advice too....Always trying to learn more!

Love,
Kim