Randy lost a total of 77 pounds! That is a Jackson and an Audrey!!! WOW! He exercises about an hour a day, almost everyday. He burns over 1,100 calories per workout. His workout consists of elliptical training and running. He is doing great on his diet. Eating a lot more veggies and fruits then he used to and a lot less fries and candy! I am trying to talk him into running a 5K with me in April. He runs just over a 10 minute mile....for all 3 miles! That is good stuff!!!
I lost 8 pounds this month. I am averaging 1.6 pounds per week. I am at a grand total of 64.2 pounds. That is a Lydia and an Audrey!!! I workout 5 days a week and I run exclusively now. I really hate the elliptical. I only work out for 30 minutes most days....although I did do a one hour workout this weekend....because I wanted BIRTHDAY CAKE and I did not want to gain weight!!! WILL RUN FOR CAKE!
So...all together that is 141 pounds. That is an Andrew....and that is a lot of weight!
Yet....the journey continues!
I still have food issues. I want to horde my points (that is weight watchers lingo for calories). I want to indulge in private and celebrate with food. I want to eat a lot.....more then I need. I still like food too much. The Lord is still dealing with some idols in my heart concerning food/weight/laziness/gluttony. I still want to sit and blog....or watch TV....or read a book......or surf the web. I still want to do what is easy. Not that anything is wrong with any of these things. What is wrong is the place I want them to have in my life. In my affections. I want them to refresh me. I want them to treat me. I want them to indulge me. I want them to make me feel better. This is not a quick fix. This is not a diet. This is not a makeover. This really is a heart change. I've been actively losing weight for about 8 months now....but the Lord has been dealing with my heart on these issues much longer!
I feel fantastic.
I feel healthy.
I feel strong.
I feel prettier.
BUT I also feel concerned. I am concerned that knowing how good I feel, I am still tempted to sit on my laurels and eat more then I need. It really is a daily dying to myself. Trusting in God. I am weak. He is strong.
I also feel frustrated. I have come a LOOOONNNNNG way.....but my journey to fitness is a FAR way off. There is a looooonng way left to go. Sometimes it seems too far. IMPOSSIBLE. I just keep reminding myself.....the daily matters. Time is going to pass and it can pass with me taking better care of myself or destroying myself. So I am trying not to get too hung up on a timeline, but it is a struggle, I want to have arrived!
I also feel weak. Yes...I know I just said I felt strong....and I do...because I really didn't think I could lose 64 pounds in 8 months.......but I also feel weak. I feel like I could slip and fall and quit. I don't really trust myself. That is why I am choosing to trust he who is in me!
I do feel prettier. I feel like people notice me more and are nicer. I know some of that is because I put off better vibes and am friendly because I feel better....but I have issues. For so long, growing up, my identity and self-esteem was LARGELY based on my appearance. I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK THERE. I like when people say I look beautiful but I just want to be very careful, not to like it too much. I want God to think I am beautiful. His standards are not the same as the worlds. I just want to make sure I'm pleasing the one that really matters!
So that is where I am.....things are plugging along. Sometimes slower then I wish....but headed in the right direction!
My current goals are to complete a 5K run in April
Currently I am trying to improve my time. I can run a 5K, no problem, but I am slow!
So I am focusing on improving my speed from now until April
AND
I plan to start a 2 time a week toning routine in March.....My skin is loose as a goose!
Just Keep Swimming!
Kim
No comments:
Post a Comment