My Girl

Sophie is doing well.  I haven't blogged about her dyslexia in a while because there isn't much new to say.  She still has dyslexia.....she always will.  It is still a thorn in my flesh.  It is infuriating.  It is frustrating.  It is the bane of my existence.  It is heart breaking.  I hate it. 

Who wants to watch their child feel dumb?  Who wants to watch their child who wants to do things independently ALWAYS need help?   Who wants to worry people will be mean, or make fun, or hurt their child?  Who wants to see their child compare themselves to others and always find themselves lacking?  Not me.

How's her reading?  Slow.  Getting better.  Hard. 

Yet as much as I hate dyslexia.....I am thankful for it, maybe. 

Sophie is FULL of compassion.  Sophie is a HARD worker.  Sophie is an AMAZING listener.  Sophie is a FIGHTER for the underdog.  Sophie is persistent.....there is no quit in her.  NONE.  All of this makes my heart overflow with gratitude.  I think God has used dyslexia in her life to develop some of this character, and character maters.  Even more then reading level.

Yes- I have moments when I worry.  Yes I wonder if she will ever know the pleasure of reading.  If it will ever be fun for her.  If she will be able to read with ease to her children one day.  If she will be able to read important instructions on medicines.  If she will be able to have her own quiet time, without an automated Bible (although I am sooooooo thankful for this technology!!!!) 

But....she is reading.  She is even starting to try out reading things in her environment.  She is definitely gaining some confidence in her emerging reading.  Yet....so. far. to. go.

I think the length of the journey has been most surprising to me.  I can't fix this.  I can't make it go away.  I can't work hard enough......it is her life.  I can teach her to cope.  I can educate her and myself and others.  I can provide her with tools.  But I can't take it away.  If I could.  I would.  In a minute.

So we continue on. 
The daily......is daily. 
Yet I hold  on to Christ promise that he works ALL things....even dyslexia.....for the good of those called according to his purpose. 

And Mama....Mama bear is learning patience.  Mama is learning to lean on the Lord and trust his faithfulness.  Mama is learning that even when it's dark and seems too much.....HE is in control and HE has a plan.  Mama is learning humility.  Mama is learning to be faithful in the daily and trust him for the things I can not control.  And Mama is a slow learner.

So for now we will just keep plugging along.  Trusting that the fruit will come........