Life has been a bit discouraging lately.
You know the BIG discouragements that chase me constantly and daily: Dyslexia and Apraxia. They haunt me. I've also been a bit discouraged about my weight. I know I shouldn't be......I'm still losing....but for some reason I am. I think maybe because I have lost a lot.....and been at this a while.....but there is still so far to go. It just gets a bit overwhelming. I've been discouraged about smaller things too: the stomach bug that is plaguing our household. The mounds of laundry that result. The mess and dirt and chores that just keep on.....they are faithfully there.....every. single. day! And the van! The flat tire on the van. The messed up doors on the van. The electrical issues with the doors on the van. The big Christmas list and the little bank account. The list really piles up when I dwell on the discouragements.
So.....I'm choosing to lift my face upward. And bow my knees.
HE knows about Sophie's Dyslexia and Jackson's Apraxia. He knows what he is doing. He is REALLY using it to sanctify their Mama. HE also knows the weight journey ahead of me. He knows it is too much for me....but he also knows that it is a journey I need to walk on. The process is where the learning takes place. I don't need a miracle....I don't need a ta-da moment......I need to be sanctified. UGH!!!! Boy do I need it!
The stomach bug....a chance to slow down....to cuddle....to take naps.
The laundry....the chores......NEVER. ENDS....but it is a chance for me to learn to be faithful in the small things. The daily.
Ah....and the van....she takes a lickin and keeps on tickin :) The van, the money, the Christmas list.....Learning to be grateful for what we have. Thankful for my first world problems.
Lifting my eyes from myself and my problems to Him. That is the cure for my discouragement!
I'm hoping your win this weekend over me was at least a little encouraging.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry things are tough, Kim. And I don't know if you feel this way too, but when I was sick and feeling so down and frustrated, I would also have this guilt because (like you mentioned "1st world problems"), even in not being able to do anything for weeks but feel terrible and sleep, I knew I had it so much better than most people, yet I still couldn't shake the discouragement. Haven't yet figured out what God wants me to think about that... Is it okay to feel down about my little problems when they are nothing compared to many people? Okay, sorry for rambling! Hope things look up soon!
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