The Reason I Homeschool....

This is the time of year I am always excited about.  Another school year ending.  The anticipation of SUMMERTIME!  I am a sunshine girl.  I love the sun, the water, the less structured days.  Ahhh... I also enjoy thinking about goals and dreams for next year.

This has been a FANTASTIC school year.  Just fantastic.  Without a doubt my favorite year yet.  Now don't get me wrong. It hasn't been easy.  We still deal with dyslexia and are learning to navigate high school, we still have meltdowns (mom included), and my house is in an almost constant state of disarray.  But I'm learning such is life.

Anytime someone with even a vague interest in homeschooling hears you homeschool they have a million questions.  Just the fact you homeschool makes you an instant expert.  I used to embrace that status wholeheartedly.  Now, after wrapping up my tenth year I think I am finally starting to understand what homeschooling is all about.  As I was talking this week with a discouraged homeschooler who was SURE she was messing her kids up I realized what a journey this has been.  I was that mom.  As I shared with my friend though some truth was cemented in my heart.

I may very well be "messing up my kids" in some ways.  In fact I know I have blind spots and weak areas and sin that will affect them.  HOWEVER....it is not all about them!  Homeschooling is so about the Lords work in me.  He is using it for my sanctification.  It is not always pretty.  It is not always fun.  In fact most days it is not.  Yet he is using the mess.  The stress.  The insecurity.  The struggle.  The fussing.  The dailiness.  It is many days like being put in a pressure cooker and watching for what blows to the surface.  Then cleaning up the mess and I am learning to rest heavy on the Lord.  I did say LEARNING.  To trust him in the daily of our mess.  Whew....I've got a way to go!

So when I started homeschooling I had dreams of  genius children who walked holy upright lives.  I had lots of answers and knew I was making the right choice.  I still have these hopes for my kids.  I have a lot less answers and a lot more questions.  I still think I made the right choice for my family.  Yet I know now that the joke was on me.  I wasn't going to create these perfect, proper, litte geniuses.  The Lord had a plan to change these kids Mama.  It is slow and it is painful and it is a process.  My heart is changing.  I'm learning so much more then my kids are. Now I just pray that I don't mess them up too bad in the process!

I wouldn't trade homeschooling for the world!  It has been one of the pleasures of my life.  I love doing life with my family day in and day  out.  It is not easy.  But like most hard things.  It is worth it.