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I haven't done a dyslexia post in a while.  It's not because it isn't at the forefront of my mind....it is!  However-I'm not sure what to post.  It has truly been a thorn in my flesh and more importantly a thorn in Sophie's flesh.

Is she learning to read?  Yes.

But it is very different.  She has to use her left hand every time she comes across a -b or a -d and hold her thumb up to check what letter it is because -b and -d they are "tricky" letters.  If a word is not pronounced phonetically.....ie) sight words.....she has NO Idea what it says....even very easy sight words....are (she would pronounce air) of (she would pronounce off).....so she goes through drills every.day. to memorize these sight words.  Rote memory is not easy for children with dyslexia.  She is getting it.  She is progressing.  She is becoming more fluent.....but I can't explain to you the WORK involved....it is unbelievable....it is daily....it is tedious.  It is staggering.  I will never take for granted the gift of being able to read.

I have also gained a new appreciation for special ed teachers.  I do what I do for my daughter.  Who wouldn't do whatever it took for their child?  But these saints....do it for other peoples children.  The sacrifice they make is mind blowing.  WOW!  I don't know what they get paid....but I am sure it is not enough.  Not nearly enough.

Does dyslexia consume our days?  Yes.

I can't send her off to read a worksheet and complete it.  I can't send her off to work on memorizing her lines for her upcoming Odyssey skit.  I certainly can't send her off to read a book.  I can't send her off to do her math-because there are so many word problems.  She can't read her science.  She can't read her history.  She can't look up a phone number!   AGH!  She can copy anything.  She just can't write down her own stories.  She can tell fabulous stories if I'll write them down.  She can tell you what a pronoun is.  She can tell you the rules for punctuation and capitalization.  She knows her parts of speech......she just can't spell.  It is soooooooooooo frustrating!
It breaks my heart that she can't snuggle up in bed at night with a book.  She can't scribble notes to her friends.  She can't keep a diary.  She will one day.  She's getting there.  It is just sad.  I love words.  I love to write them.  I love to read them.  It pains me that she doesn't get to have that joy....yet.  That is my prayer.....that she doesn't know it yet.....but that doesn't mean she never will.  God can do ANYTHING!


Does dyslexia make me tend to be overprotective?  Yes.

She can't read the menu....
She can't read the script....
She can't read the lyrics....
What if someone calls on her to read in public?  What if they think it's because she's home schooled?  What if she doesn't know what to do?
I want to protect.  To shelter.  To help. 

My fear almost kept me from letting her do Odyssey.  I was afraid the team would get a problem that required reading and she wouldn't be able to participate.  I was afraid she would be embarrassed.  I was honestly afraid it would be too hard.

Well....I was wrong.

Sophie has spent the last 2 years watching Andrew do Odyssey....and she wanted to be on the team.  She wanted to make costumes, write plays, solve problems, paint backdrops.....she wanted it BAD!  So I said okay....and this coming weekend Sophie and her team will join hundreds of other teams from central North Carolina in presenting their solutions to their long term and spontaneous problems.

My girl just keeps on amazing me!  I know that it is totally the work of God.  I have prayed over this child so often.  I pray for the very language pathways in her brain to be reworked.  I pray for her to have courage.  I pray for her to be compassionate.  I pray for her to place her value in nothing other then the work of Christ.  I pray that in her weakness he is evident. 

Get this.....Her Odyssey coaches told me a few weeks ago that Sophie is one of the best on the verbal team?  WHAT????  VERBAL...BEST????  Yes!  Only Christ!  They said she listens to the rules.  She understands what is required.  Because she is not good at memorizing and she can't rely on reading she has outstanding listening skills.  They also relayed a story about how two of her teammates that are VERY outspoken were arguing about who had the best idea and they said Sophie said...I have an idea.....why don't we try both and see which one works the best.  WOW!  I mean I am certainly proud of what she said.....but I am even more proud that she has found her voice.  That she will speak up in the midst of a conflict and that she spoke peace and that she spoke with confidence offering a solution to two very strong personalities.  To think I almost didn't let her do Odyssey cause I was scared.  I need to start praying that I will stay out of her way.  The Lord has a plan for my sweet girl.

She's still quiet.  The Odyssey team is constantly reminding Sophie to speak louder so people can hear her.  louder.....Louder.....LOUDER! 

If you could see what I see.....you would probably weep and rejoice.  She is reading...... a little....she's even liking it.....a little.  'BUT she is becoming fearless.  She is not going to be controlled by her disability.  She is shining!  The Lord has a plan for her life and for whatever reason this is a part of it.  A painful part.  A frustrating part.  A part I would not have chosen.....YET......

What if his blessings come through raindrops
What if his healing comes through tears....
What if our greatest disappointments are his mercies in disguise.

What Mercy is in Dyslexia?

I know HIM better.  I cling to HIM tighter.  I rely on HIM more.  I communicate with HIM regularly....and if life was swell.....then I wouldn't.  That's just how I am.  I would do my own thing.  I'd rely on myself and maybe my mom....but we could handle it.....I would call Randy......but not with this.  It is too big......this is too much.....this is too important.....So I run to HIM.  The mercy?  In running to him....I get to know him better!  Amen!

Thank you Jesus for putting things in my life that drive me straight into your arms.  You alone are sufficient.