EVERYBODY knows our story about THE TWINKIES.....but very few people know the details surrounding THE BABY'S birthday. I don't know why I'm not as open about it or why I've held it so close. I don't even remember ALL the details....but I will share the story of God's provision as I best remember, and I do believe it is part of God's mercy upon me that I don't remember it all.
As a little prelude to the story....we did not plan on having THE BABY. At least not so soon. She was a SURPRISE. The best surprise of my life, for sure....but also the biggest!
I remember I was scheduled for nursery....so it was a Sunday, and I was seeing "floating spots". With my pregnancy history I knew that meant call the doctor....NOW. I thought about waiting because I didn't feel bad....but I decided to go ahead and call. The doctor on call was a doctor that was not with the practice I was seeing but with a neighboring practice that shared call duties with my doctors office. He wanted us to meet him at the hospital.
So.....we went. I don't remember who got the kids, I'm assuming my parents, and I don't remember what ended up being wrong....I think I ended up being eclamptic???? It is all sort of a blur.....I do remember they had to do all sorts of test and they admitted me and I ended up having some sort of mild infection (maybe strep throat....although I didn't feel bad).....I remember waiting and waiting for lab results. The testing finally came back at 8:00 pm about 2 days after I was admitted (they were running continuous tests). They REALLY didn't want me to have THE BABY because she was REALLY early (6 weeks early)
I remember thinking everything would be fine. I wasn't very worried. THE BOY was 3 weeks early, THE GIRL was 4 weeks early, THE TWINKIES were 5 weeks early, so Audrey being 6 weeks early just seemed par for the course. I found out later a single baby 6 weeks early is very different then twins that are 5 weeks early. They took me for the C-section prep. and I remember all the sudden becoming VERY afraid and VERY nervous. I remember praying and even as I began to pray becoming distracted with worry....I remember the doctor confirming I was a Group B strep carrier. I remember the doctors being very quiet. I remember they whisked THE BABY from the room immediately after she was born. I don't remember her crying. It was another silent delivery. I remember being VERY afraid. I remember asking over and over and over to see my baby. I remember wanting to hold her. I remember wondering why they wouldn't bring her to me.....and why they wouldn't answer my questions....I think they must have given me something....because then I don't remember anything else....until like 2:00 the next morning. I remember them waking me up and something about spinal tap on the baby, very sick, high fever, not responding to antibiotics, concern about meningitis, yes it would cause a great deal of pain for her, and to please sign this paper. I remembered that I had just had my tubes tied (I know TMI) and I remember thinking if she dies I won't be able to have any more babies. I remember thinking, "I don't FEEL like God's grace is sufficient for this....but I do KNOW that it is".....and then I don't remember anything else....except I was sleeping AGAIN.......God's allowing this to happen in the middle of the night and the mercy of sleep was a blessing!
I really don't remember much else. I don't know why. I am a ponderer. I remember EVERYTHING (ask Randy)! I can't believe I don't remember....but I don't.
I do remember I still hadn't held my baby.
I remember about 3 days later they FINALLY let me come to the intensive care nursery. I hadn't even seen her except as they swept her from the room. I remember the pediatric doctor saying the doctor who performed the C-section had forgotten to treat my Group B Strep and that was most likely the cause of THE BABY'S infection. I remember feeling extreme compassion for him. He had been through a recent tragedy in his own personal life. Again this was God's mercy. I tend to forgive easily.....except if you hurt my kids...then watch out! However I felt no anger only sadness for the doctor and the peace of God which passes all understanding.
Then I saw her. She was so tiny and hooked up to all sorts of tubes. She was beautiful and she stole my heart that very minute. Then a sweet nurse asked me if I wanted to hold her and I was speechless (I know hard to believe). I sat down and held my baby and wept. She was so little. She was so sick. She was so perfect.
The second hardest thing I ever did was leave the hospital without my baby (the hardest was leaving without Matthew). They let me stay just shy of 5 days after she was born....but then I had to leave. It is not easy to leave the hospital without your child. Not easy at all. My insurance would not cover any longer stay for me. I had 4 children at home anxious to see me. Audrey had to stay for 10 more days. She was on a course of antibiotics. She was going to be okay. We spent the next 10 days back and forth. We had grandparents who helped feed THE BABY and watched the other babies so that we could feed the baby....it was an exhausting and busy time for our entire family.
She celebrated her first Easter at the hospital :(
We made a little sign for her baby bed. I'm sure she appreciated it!
One of the happiest days in my life came 10 days after I left her in that hospital room. 14 days after she was born. I got to bring AUDREY FAITH home.
And the rest is history!
God IS sufficient....even when I THINK he isn't.
As I said at the beginning....We did not Plan on Audrey....we wanted her....but didn't plan on her....BUT GUESS WHAT....God DID PLAN on Audrey....and Audrey was right on time for his plan. I am so glad his plan is not always my plan.
AUDREY FAITH has been the blessing of a lifetime. I adore her and am so happy to be celebrating her 4th birthday today....my how time flies!!!
Beautiful post from a beautiful mom. I hadn't remembered all those details. How faithful the LORD is. What a blessing sweet Audrey is to all our family. Happy Birthday sweet girl!
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