Hurting

Love me gently, Lord
I'm hurting now.
I've lived to see Your sovereignty
You've taught my knees to bow
I've caught glimpses of Your glory
I've seen Your righteous ways
But right now I need You, Father,
Just to face another day.

You have promised not to always be
Exactly what I please.
But You give me sweet assurance
You're exactly what I need.
I need a gentle Father
And the lullaby He sings,
"Let Me tuck you safely
Underneath My healing wings."

Love me gently, Lord,
I'm hurting now.
You said, "Take Your cross and follow Me."
I beg, please show me how
To celebrate my weakness
That in You I might be strong.
When desperation grips my soul
A moment seems too long.

Oh, God, what noble plans I had
To do this whole thing right
Now I fall before You wounded
And I've lost the will to fight.
There are soldiers all around me
They're depending on me, too.
I fear I've nothing left to give
So, again I ask, Can You?

I'll love you gently, He says,
I know you're hurting now.
You've oft revered my sovereignty
Your knees have dropped to bow.
If you could only see things
From My throne's clear point of view
You'd see glimpses of My glory
Are fast at work in you.

I'll love you gently.
Let Me soothe your hurting now.
I've said, Pick up and follow-
I'll do more than show you how.
I'll turn this Throne of brilliance
Into a rocking chair.
Crawl aboard, My precious child,
And I will rock you there

Written by Beth Moore

As I look at the pain around me.  Real, intense, excruciating, grief....to the point it becomes a physical pain...I'm brought again to my greatest loss.  Matthew.  His name means "a gift from God" and that he was.  That sweet boy taught me so much and stole my heart in the short time he graced our family and I will never be the same.  I can't understand the pain of losing a spouse, a mother, a father, or a child you've known for years but I do understand a grief so deep it causes physical pain.  So when those around me grieve I grieve with them.  I look back on the years after Matthew died and realize now the only way I got through that time was God.  For those of you who don't know, Matthew was our second child.  I'm not really momto5 I'm really momto6.  I was 8 months pregnant with Matthew when he stopped kicking.  He had died due to a knot in his umbilical cord.  The doctor induced labor and 3 days after he died he was born.  A precious, beautiful blessing.  A pain the world would never understand.  I could spend hours telling all that God has done in my life from the loss of my sweet baby.  I do want to say this though God graciously carried me through the pain.  He used writings like the poem above and people like (Linda Reyner and Kim Salmon just to name 2) who showed their love with no strings attached and lavished us with cards, prayers, and kindnesses.  But more then anything He used His word.  I would feast on it.  I clung to it.  My world was shaken to the very foundation and it was all I could trust to be true.  And it was..... and still is.  I have pages of verses I typed out during that time and I would read the truth over and over and over.  I am so thankful for God's true and unchangeable word.  It literally sustained me for the first year.  These verses became my prayers for myself.  They became my hope.

Isaiah 53:4 
Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows.

Psalms 147:3
He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 27:5
For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in His pavilion, in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me.

Psalm 29:11
The Lord will give strength unto his people.

Isaiah 61:3
And to provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Psalm 56:8
Record my lament, list my tears on your scroll-are they not in your record?

Psalm 119:28
My soul is weary with sorrow, strengthen me according to your word.

Psalm 119;50
This is my comfort in my affliction, that thy word has revived me.

II Corinthians 1:3-5
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

Acts 20:24
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

I wish I could ease the pain of those who suffer.  I wish I could tell them why this had to happen.  I wish I could undo the losses that cause their pain.  I can't so I hope that perhaps these verses and words will be a salve to your hearts as they were to mine.  One more poem for now also written by Beth Moore:

Extremities

Satisfy me not with the lesser of you
Find me no solace in shadows of the True
No ordinary measure of extraordinary means
The depth, the length, and breadth of You
And nothing in between.

Etch these words upon my heart knowing all the while
No ordinary roadblocks plague extraordinary miles
Your power as my portion, Your glory as my fare
Take me to the extremities,
But meet me fully there.

Goodnight.  Much love and many prayers
Kim